.
to care deeply is to be blissful and terrified all at once
you should not be able to put me back together.
you should not have the power to tear it all down again.

all the questions you ask of god echo back.
how have you not yet learned to save yourself?

I think in a small way, I always knew it was you
you've always taken care of me quietly
told me difficult truths
surprised me with my favorite drink
(you memorized my order)
because you knew I was sad before I even
told you
you make me want to be a better person
I am a better person because of you
I like myself better with you

there is a time and a place in which I am entirely and completely loved. in which my demons have been quieted and my mornings are soft. I will be safe. I will love and be loved without questioning.
I will create my own paradise.

but now that I've found you
and you're millions of miles away
it hurts worse

come home

I will write poems about you
memorize your Starbucks order
(even if it's different each season)
ill hold your hand
play with your hair as you rest in my lap

I just want our love to be soft
something safe and warm
we can both crawl into
like hot cocoa after a snowstorm