This battlefield still stands,
white smoke swirling as silent whispers of
dying men's shrills still fill the air.
Yet a steady snare beats for us.
We sing our silly rebel songs,
still seared upon our savage tongues.
Shrieks and shouts of all of your wrongs,
songs of sinners, we will sing on.


-
by Aleksander Mielnikow

I hate realizing I forgot to take my
meds. I don’t mind taking them. I need
them to pretend I can function. And
forgetting until the next morning can
be brutal, but I get right up and start
again. But when I realize they didn’t
slide down my throat and enter my
bloodstream in the middle of the day,
or halfway through the time of night
when magic unfolds and destruction
happens, I’m reminded of something.

I’m reminded that these small, white
discs with an indent down the middle
are the only thing keeping me from
climbing the tallest building and
taking a deep breath. I’m reminded
that I’m not in control. I’m reminded
that I wouldn’t want it if I had it.


-
by Aleksander Mielnikow

"If it has nothing to do with me
Then why should I even be here?"
That sounded far more narcissistic
Coming out of my mouth. But
I meant exactly what I said, and
I knew exactly what I meant.
I knew exactly what I meant.


-
By Aleksander Mielnikow

I remember you playing your
guitar the day he died, by
the fire in your backyard.

Everyone was through with
crying. Neither of us cried
because that’s just not who
we are. But if he could have
heard you playing your tunes,
I’m sure he would have shed a
tear for you.

Temptation
lured us in with its embrace.

Perhaps the passion we had,
our act of small departs,
was not worth all this
pain. Worth the guilt and
shame we brought on to our
broken hearts. But you will
never love me the way you
loved him. I know you will
never stop loving him.

Everything about you entices
me. Your *******, and your
thighs, your bright eyes in
the moonlight. And in your
voice there’s a sullenness.

We both have that. We both
lost souls on those dark
nights. But we looked past
it all and sat in your
backyard by the fire
as you played your guitar.

One can always tell
How the day will go
By whether one can
Look oneself in the
Mirror

---
Aleksander Mielnikow (Alek the Poet)

I want their teeth to dig in deeper.

I want to slam my fist into this
brick wall until every bone breaks.

I want my **** bitten off and chewed
up by rabid dogs, and I want my
feet ground into ground meat and force fed
to a kidnapped puppet.

I want to grind my skull fragments to
a fine powder in a mortar to
sprinkle on this birthday cake.

I want them to bury me alive
in mud so I suffocate in clay.

I want to poke a hole in my eye
with this pen and let the ink flood the
crevices.

I want their teeth to dig in deeper.

---
by Aleksander Mielnikow

Little one, lost and vacant,
Let me put your heart at ease.
I have been within this void ||
   For far longer than thee.

Innocent, drawn and quartered,
Let me sew those pieces back.
I have seen within this void ||
   Old grey slivers sown black.

---
by Aleksander Mielnikow