We were beaten,
we were bleading,
we were greaving,
we hit the ground.

Now we feel this sparkle,
this small sparkle of light
dancing deep inside of us,
raising our hope.

We stand on our feet again,
we wipe away our tears.
The moon cures our wounds,
the stars let us dream again.

Our inner light shines bright,
leading us through our pain.
Surrounded by mystery
we step out of the dark mist.

We're not afraid anymore,
we've already seen the darkness.
We're covered in scars
but they make us proud.

We spread our black wings,
and take ourselves into the air.
We're slowly circling higher,
this is the rise of the fallen.

A woman
                  will be
                  as girly as
            you pamper her,
            as intelligent as
          you challenge her,
            and as sensual as
              you entice her,
                so touch her
                    without
            using your hands.
                     Taste
          her mind and you
                      might
           realize that you've
                been starving
                                                        ­                         Jon York  2010

For as long as I can remember, I've always had this void in my life. It's this empty feeling deep deep down inside of me and no matter how hard I try I cant quite seem to shake it, overconsuming, eating away at me, I can have happy moments when everything seems to be going great, the feelings of not being okay comes back like a head on collision.

Theres a constant nag deep down to fill this empty void, anything to make it all better. Trying from hobbies, family, friends, material stuff and just nothing. It's not simple or an easy matter to explain, especially when you get to a point when numbing it out seems to be the better option from having such a hard past, from abuse to ****** trauma.

So badly I long for true happiness, no worries. I desperately long for what I see around me, to have not a care in the world. Instead I'm in this dark hole and I cant find my way out, filled with horror, dark, and scary. So consumed with feeling crazy.

I tend to put on this act like I'm so happy and I have the perfect life, when in reality that's just not the case. I lash out and I dont mean to.

God I just want so badly to be okay. To have never gone through the things I have, instead here I am. Lost in a spiral out of control, a ride I cant get off.

One day I will look back and it will just be a memory. Just a part of my past and I can finally say no longer I'm not okay.

You ever felt like the Moon
was crying with you,

An existential just-because
Imagining if your existence never was
The type of feeling
it would be difficult to explain..

An amber crescent set low in
a mass of darkness
A lone candle to bring
Life to the shadows of pain

Tell me have you ever
felt the Moon cry too?

i remember crying
asking him to stop
as he held me down
face in a pillow
some people call this
*******
probably because
they know
men are dogs