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I'm sure I look fine.

Days like today,
I want to strip the skin
From my forearms
Using only my fingernails.

Days like today,
I want to wring out
My legs like a washcloth,
Squeeze the rolls on my stomach
Until they're empty.

Days like this,
I want to walk away from my body
forever.

I'm sure I look fine.
Home is
   Longing for a different view
   Sitting in a tiny bedroom, watching the birds fly
Envious of their freedom

Anywhere else I
   Feel the incessant tug of my family that want me back
   Simultaneously longing for the Friday night card games
And laughing with my mother
All I want is to roam
The skies like the hummingbirds birds do
Yet,
    What’s out there that
     I want it more than
     I want you?
      Freedom,
      perhaps?
    Freedom...Freedom.
However lonely, Freedom.
The girl is a girl
Only like the moon to earth
The oasis to dunes
Breeze to the tropics
Love to the desolate
Warmth to the shadows
music to the lost
path to the journeyman
Fingers to the hair
Lips to the want
All of this and some more
The girl is my girl...
It's alright if you want to
Steal my future away
Rummage through my past
And pick the garbage away.
I'll say it's okay
for a good brain to rot bad
Because the heart is alive
My big heart pumps red.
04-2019
am i worth it?

i must peel back my skin
and carve the answer
into my bones a million
times over
and scream
so I never never forget

“yes and always“
Her thoughts and I,
we stay awake
waiting for someone,
hoping for somethings
for the heart in pain
needs no tending
just a pinch of the divine
and that silver lining.

I think of the moments
we gently stole
from the curious eyes
of tired souls
our driving the distance
to escape our own
and finding the universe
in our palms, unfold.

There in the coffee shop
she stares at me
from the helpless tea bag
in scalding water.
In the bottle she would get
to quench her thirst
I find her asking if
my need's greater than hers.

The empty seat of car,
in front
is taken in her absence
by her memories warm
The gear shaft
without our fingers twined
is stripped bare
of our naked thoughts

The rains when they come,
they flood my heart
for a stormy noon
is still parked within
when the highway was lost
behind a sheet of rain
and in lights all turned on,
our tongues were mating.

Her breath is all over
this gluttony of a glass
half filled with wine,
half consumed by need
Now, the dam opens,
blood rising to the lips
flooding me with her thoughts
she can never read...
Where do you find love?
In the absence of your love...
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