i don't understand why you won't look me
in the eye anymore.
who were you then?
who was i?
i don't understand the faces you wore.
were you always like this?
i don't understand why i trusted you so
much.
i still trust you
why did i ever cry?
i don't understand what you've become.

did you ever like me?
i don't understand why i can't forget about
how we were friends.
do you think about this too?
i don't understand why i still think about
you.

why do i care about you so much?
you won't change

and neither will i.

if you must know the truth,
i know they aren’t real
i know that they only exist on the basis of
little white lies that we tell ourselves as we
mark the box with our answers
i know that they are biased, fake, and just for fun

but deep down,
i believe that the little boxes we mark
unconsciously tell us a deeper truth about
ourselves
that can be quantified, rationalized, and critically analyzed

i believe that just maybe
i’ll finally be able to answer the age old question
who are you?

at first, everything was like sugar
so sweet it made your teeth
ring ring ring
like sleigh bells in the snow

but still, everything was like sugar
saccharine and fake and made everything
easier

and now, everything is like sugar
sugar hardening into glass
tearing your throat as it goes down
leaving you ****** and raw and screaming

time travels too fast
and soon we will have nothing to
prove
nothing to hide
our destination is clear
and for that
i am thankful

tears drip
like
candle wax
burn all the way
down

I am looking
For a way
To fall apart

And you are just
A convenient disaster

am i worth it?

i must peel back my skin
and carve the answer
into my bones a million
times over
and scream
so I never never forget

“yes and always“