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A C Leuavacant Jan 2015
And That was it...  
an ever growing chain of chances
Each shrunken sick in manners
down to the pitiful  size of mud dancing bugs
Finally foiled and boiled alive
in blood soaked tribal chants
to nothing but some cruel joke  
In which I will craft myself some hazardous home
But with You
Your handsome and enchanting charm
Always and forever squirming unpleasantly  
Framing My holy and collapsible sense of purpose
Leading me to be caught in those crosswinds
And with not one pathway left
To lead to another
Yes
That is it...
A C Leuavacant Jan 2015
I still remember you
Oh so well
On such a haze of a cold winter's night
Where you and I did lie side by side
in such Solemn sweet tranquility      
Perhaps two brains elsewhere would do
And I stared forward at the dull moonlight
that snuck in through cracks In the dusty shutters
And soon I myself fell into a slumber
Soft eyelids melting with fireball and the midnight chime

Things had slowly changed
As mind to spirit slipped to song
you did rise from where you lay
Taking leave in low light
I peered through half shut eyes
As clicking chimes and doors you swung
Pierced the empty but perfect silence

You left me quite terribly alone
And with your absence as my fear
I rose myself and slowly hummed
To tail your ghostly shadow

An hour gone in your twisted maze
Walking barefoot through the night
I found you on your knees
Beneath the Idlewood tree
crying scarlet tears
sunken down in prayer
Nightgown soaked in mud
I watched you breath
So heavily
So desperately and true
Your face clear of any other colour
But dark red and warmest blue

As we lay there
Side by side
Your arm around my head  
You must have heard the screams
That came out of my own lips instead
A C Leuavacant Dec 2014
Underneath
You are nothing but bones
Just
Like
Me
And on top  
The temper
The false interest
Ignorance
With That ******* Strut around,
Hold your head down and walk
With wide withered words
And Small drops
of pencil scratched compassions
On an ever expanding universe
Two drops
Is not enough
To turn a single grape  
Not enough to mask
This desire
These visions
Anything
A C Leuavacant Dec 2014
Oh what I'd give to cry again
To feel the things I've felt before
But now i've seen the striking sights
That make it hard to think of such simple aims

I've Felt so many out of place thoughts  
And jumped into some lonely dreams
Drank so many ghostly drinks
Crushed grapes with you in mind
Sang pigpen songs
Then watched you well
Fought armies in my crackled mind
I've Felt the love where none has been
Been sick inside my lethal head

I've thought about the pain to die
But when it's time to finally make amends
I struggle to bring out a sigh
Because that's not who I am at all
I'm someone you should  hate for life
That is no country for old men. The young
In one another's arms, birds in the trees -
Those dying generations - at their song,
The salmon-falls, the mackerel-crowded seas,
Fish, flesh, or fowl, commend all summer long
Whatever is begotten, born, and dies.
Caught in that sensual music all neglect
Monuments of unageing intellect.

An aged man is but a paltry thing,
A tattered coat upon a stick, unless
Soul clap its hands and sing, and louder sing
For every tatter in its mortal dress,
Nor is there singing school but studying
Monuments of its own magnificence;
And therefore I have sailed the seas and come
To the holy city of Byzantium.

O sages standing in God's holy fire
As in the gold mosaic of a wall,
Come from the holy fire, perne in a gyre,
And be the singing-masters of my soul.
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.

Once out of nature I shall never take
My ****** form from any natural thing,
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy Emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come.
A C Leuavacant Dec 2014
Christmas
Such a ****** mess
Greed at your hand
And selfishness

drunk toothless death  
As you and ** and you **
But it's perfectly fine
under blankets of snow

Staring at lights
While I kick in the tree
Smashed glass on the floor
decorative glitter debris

And you give all you have
To those who can't eat
So you won't go to hell
When you're finally beat

So once every year
When God's looking down
Remember to give him a smile
and chip in half a crown

Because the rest of the time
Well, who gives a ****
They can make it alone
If they have their very own Christmas ham
Something a little Jolly and festive
A C Leuavacant Dec 2014
This,
A stronger feeling than ever before
Must be immediately disbanded
For golden claws on wooden desks
Have told you what is right
and what is wrong

You must abide
You must curse it from your mind
But it Itches and scratches and turns into such an unendurable pain inside of you

And there's memories
Hopes full, heart empty
Another day, another shiny white light to gaze into with dead, bloodshot eyes
And it feels like it would take a million cautious hints
For you to finally see
What has been so very wrong
all this time with me
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