he tells me he'll buy me a white house
with a picket fence and i laugh because
it sounds so absurd to me
why would anyone want to live in
this plastic world of despair
i mean, maybe i'm judging it too hard
but i just can't see myself
driving a mini-van with two kids
crying in the backseat complaining
and calling me "mom" as if they their
mother-tongue was not Urdu
i can't do soccer games and ballet lessons
or wait every night at 8PM to have a
family dinner
i am not anyone's wife in an apron
and there is nothing wrong with choosing
the american dream
just that its a nightmare for me
i want to finger paint the house a
million shades of rainbow
i want to tie a braid in my hair
and lie under the sun
let it kiss me until i'm brown
and free.
i want my children to blast
bollywood and dance with me
no choreography, just love
i want a husband who falls in love
with my henna covered hands and
the way i smell of the sea
i can't see myself settling to a world
where everything looks just the same
or a man who loves me in a clean,
innocent way
i know this sounds stupid and i'm not
one for crazy romance but
laughing during *** and screaming during fights
is something that feels more than alright
i like the edge and the stability in knowing
that you're not going anywhere, we're going
everywhere
i want my children to climb on their father's back
and tickle him until he cries
i want them to paint his nails
and tie his hair in little ponytails
i want them to go to the beach and not worry
about getting sand in between their toes
i want them to wake up in the morning
with their messy hair and lopsided smiles
i want them to run around the house
the way their parents did
chasing each other only to fall
into each other's arms.

let's cut the *******;
i only want you for your *body

Some people say they don't like social networking
on mobile phones,
"it distances us from human connection"
they bleat and moan,
"takes us away from natural converging,
curtails face to face ties from emerging,
subdues us in a swamp of technology,
this engagement with messaging is surely a folly."
And as they depart they say,
“give me a person over a mobile msg anyday.”
Now don't get me wrong eye to eye communing is amazing
and it's not the last reserve of a luddite to prefer tactile phrasing
or to think sweet nothings into a there ear is best
but that doesn't mean there is nothing in mobile caress.
Because you can meet someone at a festival, and feel a sweet spark
that thunders through the roaming larks
and then when you part after a few days
think, "oh, that was awesome, I enjoyed their ways,
they made me laugh and gave me jumping smiles,
****, it's a pity between us there are miles and miles."
But when you arrive home and charged up a message pings
"you back now?" I see it and start to feel sing.
So we take our phones and chat all the next day,
getting to know each other in a happy appy way,
giggling at your words, beaming at the next
growing through lightning at each little text,
learning more in these screen chats;
you go to lots of BBQs and love dogs and cats,
you dye your hair and are calamity stricken
your top fajitas are finger lickin,
you know Mandarin and are ace at Catchphrase
and you have an inclination for New York days,  
you can analytically discuss scenes from C Street,
you can charm the customers at a store meet and greet,
you can decipher the nuance in The Bistro goss,
you can put up with **** from ****** at Argos.
You have a mate who picks up Mark Ronson's pooch,
you've saved a big crustacean when been on a mooch,
you can relate a song to Odysseus using sheep to save his men
and watch Mr G the musical over and over again,
you stay up/get up to watch the Super Bowl,
you type faster than a thought on a roll,
you've danced with Pete Barlow's ship mate from Corrie,
you can drive a car and a van, I recks you could handle a lorry!
You have loads of friends and often verge on more dislocation,
I want to be near you, whatever the location.
I want to pull you out of a hat
and see you stand on my welcome mat,
see, mobiles are good because it's good to feel that.
But if some quantum physicists are to be believed, after perusing their hefty tomes,
somewhere in infinite there is a place with no mobile phones,
and a boom of synchronicity has to be carried on by pen on paper
and there are days and days tween a tumbling heebie jeebie butterfly caper,
and then it's sent with a hope that it won't be lost in the post,
and be not read, like a bottled message uncorked by the coast.
Maybe a letter and no phones is better for starting a fizz
but right now mobiles make this what it is;
if not for them would I feel this close to you?
Or be writing this to you?
Right now I like feeling close to you,
and I like writing this to you,
to you Lou.

Every day I sit around
and wait for something
anything
to happen.
But all I ever do
is wait

wait

wait.

I must have to venture
somewhere
anywhere
to find what I am destined to be.
But I am content with my waiting.

I am in no hurry for greatness.

When it comes to me
someday
anyday
I might

no

will

be ready.

I'll have to be.

A new year has come to arrive
Another time where we make promises, feel alive
Though those promises are usually forgotten fast
Thus there is no need to make them, they don't last!
We should always feel the need to change for the better
By anyday, by any weather
But I do not blame you my dear children, you're just human
Enjoy the times with your families, stay close to your loved ones
Before the year ends, before time runs


~ Umi

"Death Around The Corner"

[Child:] Why you by the window?, what's wrong daddy?

[Mother:] I know what's wrong with that crazy *******
He's just stand by the ******* window
with that ******' AK all day
You don't work, you don't ****, you don't,
you don't do a ******* thing

I see death around the corner, gotta stay high while I survive
In the city where the skinny ****** die
If they bury me, bury me as a G *****, no need to worry
I expect retaliation in a hurry
I see death around the- corner, anyday
Trying to keep it together, no one lives forever anyway
Strugglin and strivin, my destiny's to die
Keep my finger on the trigger, no mercy in my eyes
In a ball of confusion, I think about my daddy
Madder than a *******, they never shoulda had me
I guess I seen too many murders, the doctors can't help me
Got me stressin' with my pistol in my sheets, it ain't healthy
Am I paranoid? - Tell me the truth
I'm out the window with my AK, ready to shoot
Ran out of endo and my mind can't take the stress,
I'm out of breath
Make me wanna **** my **** self,
but I see death around the corner

[Chorus]

(When we were kids, belonging felt good)
I see death around the corner
(But having respect, that feels even better)
I see death around the corner
(When we were kids, belonging felt good)
I see death around the corner
(But having respect, that feels even better)

I see death around the corner,
the pressure's getting to me
I no longer trust my homies,
them phonies tried to do me
Smoking too much ****,
got me paranoid, stressed
Pack a gat and my vest,
under my clothes when I dress
Here's hopin I die the way I lived,
straight thuggin'
Huggin' my trigger for all them ******
who was buggin'
My homie told me once,
don't you trust them other suckers
They fought like they your homies
but they phony *******
And even if I did die young, who cares
All I ever got was mean mugs and cold stares
I got homies in my head
who done passed away screamin, please
Young *****, make Gs
I can't give up, although I'm hopeless,
I think my mind's gone
All I can do is get my grind on, death around the corner

[Chorus]

I was raised in the city, ******
Ever since I was an itty bitty kitty
Drinkin' liquor out my momma's *****
And smokin' **** was an everyday thang in my household,
And drinking liquor til' you out cold
And tho' i'm gone now, ***** it's still on- Pow
Bustin on them ****** til they gone
How many more jealous *** *******, comin for my riches
Now I gotta stay suspicious when I bone
Cause if I ain't sharp and heartless,
them ******* will start ****
Excuse me, but this is where we part *****
No more game for free, please explain to me
Why ****** trip *****, who you came to see?
Murderin' now but see me later man, as for my pops
I got homies that will hunt you til you drop
I hope the Lord will forgive me, I was a G
And gettin high was a way of gettin free
I see death around the corner

[Chorus]

This is for all the real ******* ****** out there
I know you ain't scared to die
We all gotta go, ya know ?
A real ******* will pick the time he goes
And make sure he handles his ******* business
Y'all ****** stop acting like ******* out there,
all right

[Movie bites]

I'm tired off getting ripped off by guys like that

I want his family dead, I want his house burned to the ground
I want to got there in the middle of the night,
I wanna **** on his head
I want his family dead, I want his house burned to the ground
I want to got there in the middle of the night,
I wanna **** on his head

I want that sonova ***** dead, I want him dead
I want him dead, I don't care

once upon a time
there happened to be
a desert oasis with a population of three-
Mr A, Mr B and Mr C
no one really knows why
but they were all enemies
and then one day Mr A and Mr B
decided-quite separately
that Mr C should die -
he shouldn’t be allowed to stay alive
and so they executed their plans dastardly
Mr A poisoned C’s water with evil glee
knowing that when C drank eagerly
he would drop dead quite suddenly
but unknown to him Mr B
poked little holes in C’s canteen
knowing that without water to drink
C would soon be on life’s brink
so all the poison dripped away
with all the water , one would say
that with the double treachery
Mr C would be a dead man anyday
and so it did happen
that with no water in his canteen
and none to refill
Mr C did drop dead of thirst
But that did beg the question-
who did him in?
A and B play the blame game
A says C never drank  any of the poison
So how is he to blame?
but as B points out that his puncturing the canteen is irrelevant
for C would have drunk the water
and still met the same end
so it really is a contest of means versus the end
the end is the same and the question remains-
whodunnit?

-Vijayalakshmi Harish
  05.10.2012

Copyright © Vijayalakshmi Harish

To my first love:
     & you were just that. You were the steps that taught me how to walk, but the same ones that taught me how to fall. You were my first kiss, my first shared breath, and my first broken heart. See, you were full of firsts and experiments,but that's all you were , an experiment.
To my next love:
     You were the summer sun, and I was a naive daisy that was star struck by your rays that made me feel alive. Because you, love number two, made our age difference, make me feel like I was on top of the world. With each 'c'mon baby' or 'why not' I fell deeper and deeper into your persistent persuasion.  I was not yet blossomed to my full potential, yet you insisted perfection. And a girl of my maturity would choose starvation over loneliness anyday.
To "Lucky" number three:
     I mean, 3rd times a charm right? That's what I thought too. I thought you were my super hero that was going to heal my bruises (Inside & Out). Don't get me wrong, you did for a while, with your sweet words and innocent looks. But my broken eyes didn't let me see that same look, wasn't just for me. I wasn't enough, I never was. I was enough to quench your thirst, but soon enough my taste became too bland. I mean, who in their right mind would want someone so damaged. Not before long you tossed me like a broken toy, considering that's all I ever really was to you.
To my current love:**
     I don't want you to be just my current love, I want you to be my forever love. I want you to adore my corny idea of love and my dark realizations of life.It's not even that I want you to love me, it's that I need you to love me. I need a security guard to save me from my worst enemy, myself. So to my current love, hold my hand when you see my empty stare and my empty tummy, and tell me it's going to be okay. Make me feel beautiful, forever, because I can't do it on my own.
a.m.

I'm not worthy
Not even a penny
I could die anyday
No one cares anyway
I'm just dust metal that rust
Slowly dying so why keep trying
I gave it all I got faught hit the spot
Only to rot when I was shot
I ******* hate myself
I wish I never met you
I rather feel nothing
Than something at all

"Shooting star! Make a wish!"
Phrases to tear one apart,
Make a wish? Out of this well filled with wishes which one to select?
What is a wish if no effort is made?
Sounding like a lyric, make a wish, but a wish I do seem to find myself having.
Though nearly impossible, hope still living within me.
Nothing is lost in shutting eyes and wishing upon a shooting star that things will change or be as should be.
So as a final wish will be made, thoughts scramble in my head.
A wish so clear nothing comes before it.
Lurking through this fogged up mind of mine a wish shines bright as nothing matters more than the hopes for tonight's shooting star.
A wish for Superman to throw on the cape once more and come save the day.
One day, someday, anyday, hopefully today,
Superman will fly my way.

-Kathia Mariana Landeros

cancel your plans, darling -
we're feignin' tonight.

i ain't tasted your fancy brow
since i last ran up trees.

i know you miss
the way my tossing hair
always filled the air with
moonlit berries and
wild
wild
grapes,

so thick
your mouth
gave way to
tsunamis.

i've got cold noodles sittin'
in my bowl somewhere
because i forgot to remind myself that
that ain't food that's
fillin' my belly -

channelin' me your orange hues
dipped in frustrations so subtle,

but
not
subtle
enough.

your frisky hot hemp dance
is flingin' itself
all over my inside stuff -
curbin' my appetite
for just about
anything else.

i'll climb your tree anyday
sweet baby,
kissin' greens
in your sleeves
on that minxy leaf trip.

carry me to your sneaky cove
and share your spices
and wanton skin graces.

i'll trade you my
fingertips
and diamond
extravaganzas,
then we can take turns
dippin' our tongues
into the blend.

'cause
i've blotted out my agenda
to savour the splendour
so i can remember to
spit it back into
the faces of
the dark
cloaked ones.

this is my defiant-nosed
iron song,
in my steel-toed boots.

see, i'm feelin' mahself
and the randy white cub
ticklin' my sides
in our crazy cahoots,

with our incense and spirits
from the worshipers of
sane things -
who fill our airs
with a long overdue
white haze.

Looking in the mirror tonight

I am 24 years old

I don't know what to make of myself
Pointed chin, seashell ears, hair wet and arcing
forwards from my shower

I'm wondering about my 25th year;
will it be a year of wonders, a golden year?
My left eye says no

It's distrustful, mirrored and shuttered
so all you get back is yourself
endlessly

There's a siren and a dog howling counterpoint:
seems omenish

My right eye looks more hopeful,
like it'll wink conspirationally at any moment

Better to have a star for an eye than the moon,
anyday.

Tired/ weary

Tired of bumps and weary of

Lumps (in my neck)

(and on my head,)

(and in my jaw.)

The lymphatic system poisons me,

My brain

With worry

In truth I'm grateful

(No.)

For an alarm system If it was coming

(NO.)

I'd like to know it.

(NO.)

(I think I welcome a speeding bus anyday

In comparison to my greatest fear.)

What is your mind?
Or are you the mind.
When you close your eyes,darkness.
So when we where born light was created.
Inside the mind everything seems more real.
I don't feel pain judgement or punishmant
Insdide my mind I can be happy.
Picture anything and travel to anyplace on earth.
My universal mind is infinite.
Inside my mind I will take the loved ones.
AS your body leaves this realm.
But your teaching stay here.
your words become the air you breath.
Your cries will make the skies rain.
Your pain will make this earth shake.
With your children.
Wisdom of the ages.
Fire withing the veins.
Heart erupting blood like volcanoes.
Mind thinking at speed of light.
Sun creating shadow.
Following you as your conscions waiting to take your soul to sleep.
Seen everday as the sameday.
Nothing changes but the thought.
The image will remain the same.
Your body will madifest into the air.
You will become the sun.
Watch over your loved ones as eagle.
Death is nothing but a dream.
As your mind is reincarsinated through your children.
Music heart rythms creating real warriors willing to move mountains with your mind.
As your whole life you had one long dream.
Age is not real as you can die anyday.
It was always the present.
The ancestors are still here.
They never left,they were burried under earth.
Same earth we walk on.
So you see,we are the suns of the suns of the great great grandfathers.
Nothing leaves but madifest.
Wind clouds rain oceans.its a cycle.
Death never ends and creates life.
Its like the earth in the center of the dark universe.
Its your mind.one as all and all as one

Atomori mi,
                Like any iyawo eyan, girlfriend eni, aburo eni, ore eni, ololufe eni yan, olugboran okan eni, my expectations for you are so high, lofty and grandoise! I have however grown to learn that my commitment to you cannot be hinged on attainments or by anyone.  So regardless of whoever that doesnt accept you, or how high you fly, how far you go, or how much you accoomplish. Females might have walked away for a reason or two, but you can be rest assured that I Adebola will always be at your corner, cheering you on. Owo le masi, but fulfilling happiness I can offer with good food for your belly and your thought, Ko si ikan ti ole yawa, ju iku ati yourself (ara e). I have your back anytime; anyday. Also, I have grown to trust you,and that my sweet is one key to a successful relationship. With every beat of my life; Olatokunbo Gabriel Atomori Awoga, you are all I love ♡♡♡♡ {WEBOMLYAAIL}
I adore, love and cherish you!
Happy New Year, ife mi !
Debola Oluyomi copyright © 2014

My self-conscious body has never felt more beautiful than it did in your arms
Your voice was the quench to my thirst
And when I read my poem to you, you could hear all the emotion in my throat
And your reaction was this
"Ask me to be your girlfriend again"
And let me tell you that was the perfect response
The weeks I spent without you are ones I never want to relive
You've left your mark on me
Literally, on my neck is a love bruise or a bruise from your kiss or whatever sappy phrase you prefer
Some people say they wear their hearts on their sleeves, well my heart is hid deep inside this girl named Kylie
I've never liked that name until it made me fall in love
She is why I write poems and she's the topic of every sentence I write and every conversation I have with a stranger
Baby I need a cigarette and a handful of Xanax to calm these nerves
Actually, I'd choose you over cigarettes and pills anyday because somehow you give me the same effect except the high I get from you never fades

I feel like I cant do this.
Anyday could be my last,
These tears fall as I struggle
To get to grips of all my fears.
Terrified of never being good enough
To me or anyone.
Scared of failure proving I'm not worthy.
If I fail my dream I know it will be my end
But I'm not even sure I can make it that far.
I want to **** myself
But not to die.
Just so I don't have to feel this pain.

my flu turns to a sinus infection and my mom tells me it could have been avoided if i'd only taken medicine to begin with and didn't try to act like a superhero how do i explain to her that for once in my life i just wanted to fight by myself and fight alone and fight to success and so much for that because what started off with a little sneeze is now an emergency and i'm stuffing antibiotics down my throat and falling down the stairs due to vertigo and it hurts you know it hurts it doesn't feel good to have your head full of sinus and i want someone to take a syringe and insert it into my temple and pull out all the liquid and maybe some memories too i think i've reached cognitive overload and okay so maybe my plan to be self-sufficient didn't work out so great but that doesn't mean i can't save myself right? right? i don't know anymore i'm not so sure anymore i don't know if i can get back on my feet when just a little infection gets me in bed praying for light to consume me and end this now i can't even handle a sinus infection for the love of all that is holy and kind how am i going to survive anything in this cruel world when i can't handle a sneeze and it reminds me how you'd still kiss me when i was sick and even though we hadn't met in months you'd be okay with just cuddling and not having *** if i didn't feel like it when we finally did meet and do you remember when our biggest problem was me being on my period on the days i wanted *** and do you remember how we had *** anyway and do you remember how it felt and do you remember how i was (who i was) do you remember? and this sinus infection feels a whole lot like love it gives me a headache and makes me want to die but somewhere inside i want it to stay because being sick is a great excuse to give others when they ask you why you look so pale so sad so down it's a great excuse to give when people ask you why your eyes are so red you can tell them the infection kept you up all night instead of revealing how you had a dinner party with your demons until 4am before realizing that the tea was poison and your demons in your head i'm thinking about the kid in my literature class who showed up ****** and i wonder if that takes away his pain i don't plan on getting ****** but i have red eyes all the time anyway so why not right? why not depend on a drug why not depend on an antibiotic why am i trying to save myself when the world has provided me happiness in a pill and instead of fighting all the time all i have to do is swallow (i've always been good about swallowing, ask him he'd tell you) and i guess this pill is just another thing to close your swallow even though you don't want it down your throat and i guess it's time to lay down my arms and say here, you win. i give in. the food festival is tomorrow and my  aunt tells me not to go because there are open wires on the fields and the rain has given them more life than ever before and oh i've always had a love-hate relationship with food (more love than hate anyday but that's the whole problem anyway) and i think i'm going to go to the food festival- whether for the doodh patti chai or for the danger of open wire shocks; **i'm not so sure yet.

So Chinaski took down Hem,
eh Buk?
I could take your cardboard mask
anyday
because i know he's more of a paper tiger
than the commies hoped america would be.

I'm crazier than you
and i'm willing to bet
my pecker against yours;
if you win
i'll chop it off with a rusty cleaver
and we can braid eachother's hair
while we tape my pecker onto the tip of yours
and spray silly string and ***** into my wound.

So what you got?
Huh? How crazy can you get?

After all,
i think you died naturally.
I still got time in these bones
to walk onto campus with
a gallon of gas
and a pack of menthol cigarettes,
asking to *** a lighter.

How crazy
have they become?
And how crazy do you think
it will make me?

I got to see your face tonight,
isn't it amazing how technology works?
Although I don't like to say, "got", really,
because it doesn't sound too poetic, really,
and it would only be true if I had you.

Sure, I was given a chance to see your face,
and that gift I would gladly take anyway, anyday.

But I wish I could behold you in person,
have you next to me.
It's only that you are out there, while
I am in here... see?

What's the use in complaining though,
who am I to distress?
I have so many blessings,
in the scheme of things,
this is but a
tiny test.

So I'll just keep truckin',
as the people seem to say,
and rejoice in the comfort that
we'll see each other soon,
some day.

Been sittin here for awhile
looking over shoulders,
on my tiptoes tryin to see
if you’re still there, staring back at me
with those eyes, those eyes of a hazel sea
getting lost in the morning commute, casually.

Why don’t we
fall in love sometime
Why don’t we
knock on wood
because things change sometimes
Maybe a little superstition’s
all we needed this time
***’ luck’s a coin in mid air
and there’s no time for that, dear

So, excuse me, miss chai tea
I don’t have much direction, just so you know
my words come in bunches and sometimes
they move a little slow
see this makes sense to a guy in my shoes
full of pride, but usually not enough to approach
a girl like you
in this cafe, on anyday
cross the room or a table away

Why don’t we
fall in love sometime
Why don’t we
knock on wood
because things change sometimes
So much for setting plans in stone
wake up one morning and they’re gone
long gone, like your cares and the sun
replaced by the moon, not a moment too soon


It’s just that your eyes were so inviting
they had my head and my heart fighting
worried you turn me away
and tell me to keep waiting
that one day I’ll meet another like you
what do I do if there’s only you
what do I do when all I see is you
what do I do, do I do
with this
with this love I have for you

Well here’s my hand
it’s yours if you want it
i’ll close my eyes
and wait for you to want it

Why don’t we
fall in love sometime
Why don’t we
knock on wood
because things change sometimes
Maybe a little serendipities
all we needed this time

There’s no rush here
I’m in no rush dear
time is yours if you want it
this beaten heart
is yours if you want it
all It needs is some love
And I encourage you to start it

Though this might be too soon
this love’s a full moon
It’s not going anywhere, it’s
been here for hours and its not even noon
we can wait till we wake up tomorrow
and you’re looking around for some clothes to borrow
maybe last night was a sign to stick around
maybe last night was when your love was found

Today I touched your hands for the first time in months
They were cold
You said winter was quickly approaching
I laughed
Because winter is something California doesn't know too well
But I do
I know the below zero temperatures
How we spent those nights huddled together underneath your sheets
When your breath was the only thing in the world that could keep me warm
I kept my socks on
I always did
You said it looked silly
But you didn't mind
I think we fought most when it was chilly outside
The weather being both a catalyst for an argument
And an excuse for me to spend the night
I spent so many with you that I lost track

Today I wondered where the time went
And gave up looking when I couldn't find it
I thought about how I used to tuck my secrets into your palms
For you to keep safe
I know you probably still have them
Wedged between your knuckles
Blue from the weather
And the lack of circulation
You told me you hated it
But the color of your skin when it is cold outside is my favorite
Everything about you has always been my favorite

Today I was next to you
But tomorrow I wont be
And soon enough I will be back on the other side of the country
I can't help but hope that you will still think about me
When you are stuck in the snow and the wind blows against your flushed cheeks
I hope you think about my hands cupping your face
And how they would shake
Just to be able to hold you there
I would risk shivering for your comfort anyday

I never told you this
But you are the only warmth I have ever known that doesn't burn at the touch
You are the only fireplace that I can lay next to without catching flame
You are the only summer that exists even in the middle of a Chicago winter
Yours is the only jacket I will ever accept when I forget my own
You are my warmth
So I am going to keep you close
For as long as I possibly
I am going to keep you close
As long as you want me to,
As long as you let me.

My lovely star, why can't you see that your actions are taking over me? It's like you're on a mission to tear me up inside. Do you really like to see it when I cry? Your lack of effort kills me inside, I don't know what to do about this situation. Yet I know you need your education. But it always seems that you act so secluded avoiding the things that need to be met, acting excluded from a group or two. Saying (the school got the best of you!) or your mom and dad degraded you. Saying everyone hated you/hates you. But my dear i'm still right hear, it can't get anymore clear. But the fact you say you'll try harder, but you lack the effort to show me. Disown me if nessasry. Is it too much to ask for the effort in return that I excert? Or are you to blind and lost by all the hurt people have cast upon you? I don't want to hear (babe I'm trying my dear!) Show me the effort you so kindly hide in this lost void of disguize. I know deep hurt lerks behind those pretty little brown eyes, and big smiles of yours. But all I ask his that you be the star I know you can and sweetheart it's not all that far away. I'd follow you until the end anyday.

It rained a bit today,
cleared up a minute ago,
unlike the storm in my heart,

Rain can cheer me up anyday,
but as soon as its gone,
my eyes turn the darkest shade of grey,
and my heart suddenly heavy,
a storm is like a blessing to me,
the rain falls,
like the tears I know so well,
but as the rain hit the ground,
a new source of hope is found,
for the longer the rain continues to fall,
the longer I can stare into the distance,
for absolutely, no reason,
and just,
forget the world,
this is something I wish I could do constantly,

For in my world,
everyone is happy,
and that makes all the difference,

See now,
whats happier,
than a rain cloud?

You don't see real ghosts;
The ones that drink Sprite,
Or sun on the sands of Lake Erie.
Most ghosts have better things to do
Than haunt you.
What you do see
Are spirits, holy or otherwise,
Taunting, egging,
Generally bothersome.
They're in pictures and mirrors,
Songs and places
You'd like to re-live,
Or forget altogether,
Past and present.
No, gimme a ghost anyday
Over a spirit.
When it's my turn,
I won't see you.

You're not alone
you never were
we all just lost you
when you got hurt
so welcome home
I hope you've had a chance to grow
to show us all
that you can do it on your own
I allways knew that you would make it
you're so cold
Now sit right down because you're mine
to have and hold

They x-rays get old
we're not really so transparent
you twist your crown of thorns
upon your throne
and with no shame you wear it
you still have your pride
and no one can take that away
but that life's on the brink
and could slip up anyday
so live
while you can
as we watch the heavens
fall to earth again
and nothing really changes
good god
goodnight
amen

You're not alone
you never were
we all just lost you
when you got hurt
so welcome home
I'm glad you made it out alive
do you feel alright?
do you feel revived?
do you feel alone?
do you need more time?
should I stop asking
all these ******* questions?

The blood runs cold
it all gets old
it's nothing new
and never will be
we've seen it all before
and we all know when you're unhappy
so ******* say something
don't waste our time
you fell in love
you didn't fall in line
and don't worry
you not crazy
you're just lost

You're not alone
you never were
we all just lost you
when you got hurt
so welcome home
come take shelter
we'll hide you from
the rain whenever
it must be tough in this bleak december
but when you leave again
i just hope that you remember
you're not alone


The scabs will all fall off
but don't scratch
you don't want scars
you don't need any help
reminding people who you are
and when it's cold
all the scar tissue turns white
but you can't see it in the dark
So just hide em one more night
and hope it all just soaks within
one day maybe
good god
goodnight
amen

I would do almost anything
to feel the crippling,
rib cracking,
pain of heartbreak radiating through my chest.
There's nothing I want more
than to be able to cry
huge,
salty tears each night,
one for each time he held my hand,
warmed my lips.
I want to feel the itchy,
sodium stains on my cheeks,
the dampness of my pillow.
I want to be able to hear songs,
watch movies,
that take me back to vivid memories,
that chisel away a little bit more of my
soul
eachtime.

Because what's that old saying?
"It's better to have had and lost love,
than to have never loved at all."
It circles through my mind,
screaming like a banshee.
This empty ache in my rib cage,
this dullness in my veins,
is something I want rid of.

I'd take the sweetness of the sugar,
followed by the sour of the lemon,
over this bland gruel anyday.

Make me feel.

Was it to bring me closer to him
To recognize the life of sin?
I miss your pretty face
Look me in the eyes
Let me wipe your cries
I'm here now hug me bug me
Luv me cuddle me snuggle me
Don't be scared do as you please
Be yourself I'll love you that way
I'm here to stay never go away
Sorry for the delay
I'll make it up to you anyday
I understand we are different
Come from separate planets
All I know is something about you
My heart never doubted you
You hide we collide
The angels have arrived
Me and you
I only think of you
What I feel for you
Is one hundred percent true
If only you knew
When I'm feeling blue
All I could think of is you
You can hate me
But atleast date me
You can diss me
But atleast kiss me
You can walk away
But atleast come my way
You can cry at night
But atleast spend the night
You can lie to me
But atleast be with me
You can deny your in love
But atleast recognize
It came from above
My love... Why did I meet you???

When I’m better,
now you want to know me,
if your heart was
as big as your ego.
You’ll be considered as real.
Let me go,
for my soul needs rest
before it’s taken, I’m not
worried about flying,
I’ll be gone anyday.

if i hold my silence now
i'll regret it forever
if i hold my regrets now
i'll stay silent forever.

you dated a brown girl
only to marry a white girl.

tell me how to separate
these wounds from my
colonial scars.
i'm still here,
trying to make it
in a world that wasn't made for me.

you fell in love with a brown girl
only to marry a white girl.

tell me how to feel like
i wasn't your taste test
i wasn't your "cultural experience"
i know you fell in love with me
you learnt my language
you memorized my tongue
but the night was
way too young.

will you give your child an "ethnic" name?
will your daughter have my name?
or was i just one of your
growing pains.

i'm just like my mother
falling for the ******
colonizer.
(i'd let you destroy me,
anyday)

What eats me up inside
is knowing you look up to me
waiting for some shed of light
on your life of conspiracy
I cant sell you something
that I no longer trust
and for your spirit
I do in disguist
and I must
What tears me in two
is seeing you break down
knowing that strong facade
and detecting its true frown
I cant tell you something
If i dont believe it too
but for your soul
I smile when I do
If you only knew
The truth hurts, but lies are worse
so I sit here and hurt you either way
but knowing it might help you
I'll take being the ***** anyday
You cant right others wrongs
or heal anothers broken heart
but telling it how it is
will give you a great head start
Be the person you need to be
no matter what they say
People pull you back for one reason only
Youre moving on from where they choose to stay
So just go away
save yourself
be good to you
and your health
put you first
Its where you belong
You will always have my help
and my love, forever long