Riverside, CA    1992 -    
somehow it got easy to laugh out loud
somehow it got easy to laugh out loud

I have a pack of letters,
I have a pack of memories.
I could cut out the eyes of both.
I could wear them like a patchwork apron.
I could stick them in the washer, the drier,
and maybe some of the pain would float off like dirt?
Perhaps down the disposal I could grind up the loss.
Besides -- what a bargain -- no expensive phone calls.
No lengthy trips on planes in the fog.
No manicky laughter or blessing from an odd-lot priest.
That priest is probably still floating on a fog pillow.
Blessing us. Blessing us.

Am I to bless the lost you,
sitting here with my clumsy soul?
Propaganda time is over.
I sit here on the spike of truth.
No one to hate except the slim fish of memory
that slides in and out of my brain.
No one to hate except the acute feel of my nightgown
brushing my body like a light that has gone out.
It recalls the kiss we invented, tongues like poems,
meeting, returning, inviting, causing a fever of need.
Laughter, maps, cassettes, touch singing its path -
all to be broken and laid away in a tight strongbox.
The monotonous dead clog me up and there is only
black done in black that oozes from the strongbox.
I must disembowel it and then set the heart, the legs,
of two who were one upon a large woodpile
and ignite, as I was once ignited, and let it whirl
into flame, reaching the sky
making it dangerous with its red.

I'd like to think I'm worth your time.
But your time and opinion matter as little as mine
in the grand scheme of things, so
we may as well invest in human connection.

I am very morally and ethically driven.
I write, or something like it (a given)
& in a way I'm looking for inspiration.
I like to talk and I know how to listen,
I'm a sucker for good conversation.
I guess I'm looking for assistance,
in pursuit of an enlightened existence.

big words for small prey
EJ Aghassi
EJ Aghassi
Dec 11, 2015

about only five
or so
thoughts will go by
till some semblance
of you
conquers my mind

rainbows and nightmares
in your hair
it flows hypnotic
from here to there

oh, darling, how it flows
like rivers within daydreams
pure beauty transposed

I stop and think
on your face a while

there are constellations
in your smile

precious pearls
to further accent
the vivid colors you

you've since floated in
underneath my skin

& I like you there

moments are now shallow
as they go by

pleasure since hollowed
if you're not beside

& that's alright

I sense you in the night air

I conjure your closeness
to combat my despair

fervently feverish,
you there

I'd sleep in the street
if it would earn me a glare

I reach out for your embrace

I will be soothed back into
my longing dream state

your colors now paint
the night around

& soon the sound
of your name


rattles my brain

& I'm left with only
my longing

I'll yearn for you
just the same

I want you to haunt me
EJ Aghassi
EJ Aghassi
Nov 29, 2015

the scent of cold
in the air
pine needles press
sensitive skin

nauseating sentimentality
returns with
wanting to see you again

I've missed the feeling
EJ Aghassi
EJ Aghassi
Nov 19, 2015

loneliness has come once more

the bite in the air
the similar nipping at my heart

with the drop in temperature
comes a lowering of defenses
i am overcome by vulnerability
i feel so many things i've ignored
for half a year or more

why must things be this way?
i'm invigorated by the cold,
i am human in my shivering
in this loneliness there is
love i've yet learned to embrace

just like i feel the air around
you've completely enveloped me
though just as the cold
knows not who she caresses,
you hold no particular favor for me
your embrace will permeate
absolutely and impartially,
it is far too vast for i

i've yet to feel the tingle
of sweet summer on my skin

i've reveled only in winter
now i long for you to let me in

i shiver in my longing
dreaming only of your warmth

there's a certain kind of romance
in the turmoil you've brought forth

i feel that this is only the beginning
EJ Aghassi
EJ Aghassi
Nov 3, 2015

i'd ask for more if
you'd hear me say
things of depth and circumstance
in ways i can't convey

within earshot
i would hear the whispers
from a divine warmth
underneath sheets
near-silent songs
of how you
think you could love me

arms length could
have us close enough
to hear hearts beating
between the both of us

rain storms
bringing closer
rhythmic patterns
with the drops
skin serene
& soft

but impartial is the universe
our minds distractible
our feet hardly
ever on the ground

& these words i write
could never capture
the essence i dream you portray

these miserable hands
that lament loss
of a thing yet even obtained

they don't know how
to grasp gently enough
the hands of grace
& divine warmth

when i feel lonely
i'll conjure your caress

it was time hardly spent
but well spent nonetheless

& i never really even met you
EJ Aghassi
EJ Aghassi
Oct 13, 2015

i was emotionally unavailable
You said You would be fine
and settle for my body
while aiming for heart and mind

You just wanted someone near
You're scared to be alone
but darling i've since tamed the fear
it was once all i had known

emotionless, nonetheless
You stayed persistent
with Your rough tenderness

loss of feeling, yet
You took comfort in the tangible
& that inevitably changed
it became something else

now lured into this house
You built for two
with Your dreams in mind

You set ablaze
with me inside
there's no way out that i can find

i was transparent

i am troubled

i was a blank canvas
You painted me in anger
splashes and swipes

you are projecting from within

i am now spite-ridden

i stop & think about the time
You said You would be fine

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