Riverside, CA    1992 -    
lost laureate of yet another lost generation

somehow it got easy to laugh out loud
lost laureate of yet another lost generation

somehow it got easy to laugh out loud

I check the clock knowing time, 
at least, won't lie—
Two hours past 3
And that place down the alley isn’t open

The sun shines brighter than ever,
The strained pavement is hot and
Covered in cigarette butts

The garage door is locked 
And any sense of sanctuary now locked behind it

I turn back, resigning myself to
Burying my thoughts alive
Deep beneath the workday

The time passes,
All-too-many pores sweat and my
Back hurts like my stomach drops flat

I step outside this familiar prison and collapse
At the feet of lunar light surrounding me,
Bats whirl overhead and
My heart races faster and faster

Ivory, delicate ivory,
Clutching the silly purple sweater
That I remember you smiling to see me in

Head now down to the floor and
This same silly sweater becomes a metaphor 

These fabrics of your absence
Caress my tired flesh

There was a time where I counted
Weeks by kisses on the cheek

Not quite butterflies but similar insects,
Though they didn’t have wings,
Could be felt whirring through my nerve endings,
Their presence at the pit of my anxieties,
Squirming through the muck

But now my feelings fill that space
In its current state, damp and muddy
Left in the wake of sensations past
Something beyond the spoken word

Between what is known and unknown

A question without an answer, the
Suspended seconds before free fall

The eye of the hurricane or
The voice trapped within a ringing phone

Something that exists before it’s realized
Chaining two things together
Existing only in its own negative space

And now
A familiar feeling finds me
In the midst of my focus fading,
Car parked in the same old spot

But only now do I realize how foreign this land is, how
Impossible it is to reach from where you last smiled at me

This silly purple sweater wraps
Me tightly with what refuses to exist,
I'm drowning in the this feeling of
The only time you'll ever hold me

These savage fabrics at my lips and throat
Smother me with the affection
That you never in my half-life will have

#love   #poem   #poetry   #sad   #life   #loss   #you   #me   #absence  

Clawing precious time;
Making sure your name's spelled right;
I think I love you.

#poem   #poetry   #haiku   #romance   #true   #you   #me   #dumb   #silly  

Sick with second guessing
The bitterness is back

Beyond any classification
I'm exhausted of it all

Long past petty five steps
I've sat outside long enough in the cold
To know it doesn't get any warmer

Nostalgia's rough grasp
Clasped about my neck
I feel more and more
With every forced breath

And the more I feel the less I know
It all leads to the inexplicable
The redundant and
The impossible to reconcile

Loneliness infatuated
With this idea of the unknown
Through some lust manifests
Into a dire fear of being alone

And that fear carries forward
Incessant debasement

And all the best advice I've ever heard
Is now drowned out by the rainfall

Dripping drops of memories
Seep into wounds still being licked
With a wincing at the past
While bracing myself for the crash

There was somewhere lifetimes ago
When a warmth was prevalent enough

But all that feels like fantasy now

Some sick obsession with comfort

The idea of
Being yearned for

Thought of

Touched, kissed


All things senseless yet
Fulfilling for the senses
Creating some
Sense of belonging

It's all slipping, sliding
Moving out of view

Writhing and shaking
My body shivers
Off any remaining
Icicles of doubt

I know the bitterness is back

I know the rain will keep falling harder

And right now, try and try as I might,
I just can't get this damn cigarette to light

lol I don't know why I keep trying with this website, everything I write is apparently garbage to the vast majority of people on here
#poem   #poetry   #sad   #life   #loss   #you   #thought   #me   #longing   #bitter  

Wine comes in at the mouth
And love comes in at the eye;
That's all we shall know for truth
Before we grow old and die.
I lift the glass to my mouth,
I look at you, and I sigh.

Well, of course it does, in a way

With your hands clasped in idleness,
Chained behind your back in surrender,
Your will evaporates
While you bask in hollow falsity

& without any will left to materialize
Itself into an immovable object,

What is left to hinder the onslaught
Of the unstoppable forces
We have to face every day?

wisdom from a sign on the side of the road
#poem   #poetry   #truth   #life   #faith   #thoughts   #you  

I breathe in the ocean waves

The rolling and tumbling of my feelings
Echo the flickering lights above me

Dim and dimmer

Sea breeze sings to me
As the moon cradles me in my
Wondrous lonely

I am within sure embrace;
I am overtaken by the waters

Lights flicker till I can only
Feel dimmest in her moonlight

Do I dream or wake?
Where now has my spirit gone?

Somewhere, out there,
Dancing with the night sky,
Arm to eye, hand to cheek

I lay ever still

The ocean waves breathe me

#poem   #poetry   #want   #need   #sadness   #hope   #thoughts   #you   #me   #feeling  


i dote on thee

if I had to summarize
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