I'm in a rut, when will it end, I'm sick of toxicity in my guts.
They tell me stop being bothered, what's wrong with you?
Your like a broken doll that's always wearing blue.
We don't wanna hear your cry anymore or see your tears, we wanna be happy, what's wrong with you?
I'm struggling inside, more than you know but I can feel it all too well and you turning your back on me makes me feel it more.
I'm trying to be the best me everyday, when my emotions come out to play and I make a mistake just know I'm trying my best.
I'm like a broken doll that feels like I belong back on the shelf.
What do you do when your best isn't good enough?

My body is hot, within me is a flame, boiling the blood in my veins, my skin is warm & I feel bothered internally.
It won't take much to set me off.
I can't run away from myself, I can't escape these feelings.
I feel like I'm suffocating in myself.
How can I feel better, who will understand, how can I make it go away?
I don't know where to turn...

Little girl with the large, dark eyes.
Adorable & innocent, nothing to sexualize.
Man in black with the twisted mind.
Never thought or perhaps cared just how much he would put this little girls life in a bind.
She did not speak for a long time.
No recollection but over time, there's things she would find.
No justice was delivered.
No recognition, it seems.
Everyone has buried the trash.
No more talk about the past.
Hush, hush.
Woman with the large, dark eyes.
She holds anger & silently cries.
Hush, hush.
Keep it all inside.

Crazy is who I am.
I love with a passion & I fell for you.
So call me crazy for wanting to be there.
Call me crazy for loving you.
The truth is that I do.
I don't deny it anymore.
I don't want to hold back.
I love you & that's all there is to it.
I'm not a fighter but I fight for what I love.
You break my heart.
I give you space.
You run back to me.
I love you still.
I always will.

My mind is a sea. At times I latch on to the boat of sanity, as the waves thrash & the winds blow. Seems as though the downpour will never ease. Stranded with only the feelings of hopelessness to surround me. Alone in my feelings. Alone in my thoughts. Alone with in myself.

The waves subside & lay calm, crystal clear to the sea life beneath. The sea is full of colors & creatures abode. The sun is warm on my skin, bright in the baby blue sky. Dolphins come out to play, showing off eagerly as they entertain. I dive in. Life couldn't be greater.

My heart can be a secret garden, filled with fruits & berries. The air is scented of sweet lilies. Come to this garden & be refreshed my love. I have so many gifts to share.

Yet when the sunlight fades into dark, the cold winds howl. The gate to the garden is locked. There's nowhere for you to rest your head. Nothing to share.

My world lies on a merry go round. Up then down & round I go. I sit sick on this rollarcoaster of emotions. I don't wish to drag you along so I'll silence myself until the sun rises again because it always does. I'll do anything for you my love because my love towards you is the only stable thing.