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  Apr 2015 Xan Abyss
Abigail Shaw
It's torture,
The way that he stalks her,
Mina, Mina,
Like some childish chant,
He calls her name,
We chant too,
Master, master, notice us,
Love us, want us, worship us,
Because we worship you,
And I have seen seasons pass in an unblinking eye,
How can I sleep when you are always awake?
Entertaining guests in the parlour room,
My pallor turns deathly when you speak her name,
Your next engagement is the chill in my tomb,
The fear I feel in her heartbeats makes my teeth hurt,
They turn into fangs with the bitterness I spit,
When you take her throat, I see red,
But I cannot admit these things to my absent soul,
By you I am vilified,
Like Christ I'd rather be crucified,
My wedding dress you nullified,
Let light stream in and burn me alive,
Burn me dead,
After aeons since the first I thought this bond was unbreakable,
1, 2, 3, women you have guided into your hell,
Still your thirst is unslakeable,
- But what did I expect?
Denn die Todten reiten schnell.

(Translation: Because the dead travel fast.)
Xan Abyss Apr 2015
Quasimodo, ringer of the bells
Quasimodo, hidden in his hell
Watching from the bell tower as life is squandered daily
Nobody seems to understand the truth of human frailty
But there they chime again!
It's that time again!
You know Quasimodo's still alive
Because the Bells are right on time

In the shadows of Notre Dame
A monster stalks our halls
A giant, hulking, hungry mass
Searching for ****** girls
It's the truth, don't you believe it?
The beast is out there creeping
It's much easier to see
than the demons we all keep
Under lock and key
Inside you and me

Quasimodo, ringer of the bells
Quasimodo, hidden in his hell
Watching from the bell tower as life is squandered daily
Nobody seems to understand the truth of human frailty
But there they chime again!
It's that time again!
Quasimodo's still alive
Because the Bells are right on time

A monster forged in hate
was a man who died for love
and though he suffered the slings and arrows
of the cursed world he lived above
Quasimodo died
as Quasimodo lived
Believing that the gift of love
was the best gift we could give.

Quasimodo, ringer of the bells
Quasimodo, dying in this cell
Lying in the crypt with arms wrapped tight 'round his beloved
Embracing his dark angel as eternally as love is
But it's that time again!
Why don't they chime this time?
The Halls of Notre Dame are still
Quasimodo must have died...
An ode to the 'Modo.
  Apr 2015 Xan Abyss
Anastasia
I used to find comfort
In darkness,
Silence,
Isolation.

But now your presence follows me
Through the night.
You cast silver shadows on my walls,
Ghastly fingers reaching for
The windowpanes

Trying

Desperately to break in.

Even the thickest of curtains
Can’t keep you out.

I am never alone
A sliver of light
Is always there
Reminding me
You are
Here too.
Xan Abyss Apr 2015
I promise myself
you'll break
if I keep pushing hard enough.

You are an angel of liberation
How could you ever love **** so hateful?
It must be a lie, it must be fake
But I can make it true if I break you

Heavenly creature, let this creature come to you
Smother you and shovel all his wretched love in you
The way a golden goddess glows, mortals always follow
And only through destruction could she love a fiend so hollow

At your weakest, I strike
A predator in love
I convince myself you'll feel the same
If I damage you enough

I will teach you to love me
So that you can teach me why
What a Demon's meaning is
In an Angel's Eyes
A metaphorical self portrait of the obsessive, destructive, vile lunatic I am.
Xan Abyss Apr 2015
Him
Go ahead and block me out
Walk away, I understand
This sort of thing has happened before
And it will happen again
I won't cry this time because I know you already left
It's already been six months since our romance came to an end
But I so desperately wanted
To believe that this was it
That you could save me
That I would help you
But I just couldn't be Him.

Go ahead and lock me out
Of your life, like everyone does
I'll just focus on what is to come
Instead of what already was
I don't care this time because all I seem to be is a burden
Maybe this time you'll leave me alone with actions instead of just words
& about you being my Queen, well
I meant every last little bit
And I still wanna be your king
But I know I'll never be Him.

I'll never be Prince Charming,
or a Knight in Shining Armor
and I'm not looking for a Princess
(or even a monogamous partner)
I'm no hero, I'm no saint
I may even be born for sin
So I can't keep on loving you
Because you're too in love with Him.

And you've already moved on,
So it's not like this will haunt you.
But to be with you, I'd need to be Him,
and to be honest,
I just don't want to.
Good riddance to self-loathing. Welcoming self-acceptance.
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