All pray for sunny rays
But the sunny days have
gone
a--way
lead astray smokey grey just to say
good--bye
Yeah,
I must have blazed a few back in my
Hey--day
But the skies still blue turns a different hue
but only on May--
Days
Well.,
I guess that's the reason why the meaning of life
Or at least for me?
is so
un--substantial even tho some-times we fold
but don't forget_ to line it with hope
Or maybe much so?
that our minds are now frac--
tured
So..
Don't tread on my mi-cro frac--
tions
( As I would often say )
Seeing that mines are both split / in personalities of my current
Reality?
Yo.,
But that's just a very small frac--
shun
in this type of  re--
ac-
            tion

Sadly this woman with the biggest heart
Has to rip out her most loving thoughts
She must turn cold
For over her, people just rolled

She alway knew they would
But she still did what she could
She so desperately wanted to belive
That everyone that was truly in need
Would appreciate what she did
She had the faith of a little kid
She believed there was good in most everyone
But now with all of that, she was done

There finally was that last straw
Finally a line she had to draw
This decision was agonizingly painful
After this, she didn't know what she would live for, would she be able

The pain of this was greater then all that had came before
This killing of her own soul hurt so much more
Than what any human monster had inflicted
With this her heart would truly be restricted

She took the broken pieces of her being
Ground them to dust as tears down her checks kept steaming
She knew with this final self inflicted act
There would be no coming back

There would be no more love, no hope
If not for drugs, how would she cope

With one last sigh
One last cry
She pounded what made her, her to dust
She felt no other way out, it was a must
The chain that bound her to helping others just turned to rust
It broke and fell away
She wondered why on this earth would she now stay

For with all the good she had tried to spread into this wicked place
She sincerely thought it would be returned when difficulties she faced
Only to find
No other human would act as kind

Every single person she tured to
Only replied "what can I do"
"I would help, but I must put myself first"
Her loving heart made her feel so utterly cursed

So she decided that was it
No longer with the afflicted would she sit
No longer would she put others before herself
They could all fall off the ******* shelf

This decision was not freeing
It was gonna **** her completely, her fragile soul, her being
It was gonna break the ties that held her to this life
But when she need help, no one was there to end the strife

Now this woman with the biggest heart
Has to rip out her most loving thoughts
Now she is as cold and heartless as the rest
But look really hard, there is still the stain of tears upon her breast

you broke my last hope on us
you failed to see how much i love
you took me for gratenge
i begged for your love with blood n tears
fought all my battels for you
gave you all my love  

but you failed to see how much i love you

i kept on going till i was broken
you telling me about ******* who i dont even care about
is this how you want it to be
talking to your bestfriend and making yourself believe that i dont love you after all iv done for us
i feel ashamed and guity because you failed to see how much i love you
you mean the world to me but you have tured you back on me made me kneel down for you but still you failed to see how much i love you

now i have to let you go exit your life this wasnt my plan but we have made it like this so we gotta take what life throws at us i love you but i hate the fact that you fail to see how much i love you
by the time you read this it will be too late  
i love you but they say if you love something let it go if it comes back then its yours

i love u Nolwazi but you failed to see how much i love you so i gotta let you go

You’re not worth my

time

anymore

I remember

when you were

late nights

sweet words

we went only

far enough

that

we couldn’t return

no one to blame

well

I blame you

Obviously

we would have been

fine

but you changed

it all too

much

too much

attitude

respect

you were penniless

when

it came to both

stil are

I’m not

sorry

only sorry that

you are

the sole

cause of

a frac

tured

friendship

I just wish

it was our’s

Sadly this woman with the biggest heart
Has to rip out her most loving thoughts
She must turn cold
For over her, people just rolled

She alway knew they would
But she still did what she could
She so desperately wanted to belive
That everyone that was truly in need
Would appreciate what she did
She had the faith of a little kid
She believed there was good in most everyone
But now with all of that, she was done

There finally was that last straw
Finally a line she had to draw
This decision was agonizingly painful
After this, she didn't know what she would live for, would she be able

The pain of this was greater then all that had came before
This killing of her own soul hurt so much more
Than what any human monster had inflicted
With this her heart would truly be restricted

She took the broken pieces of her being
Ground them to dust as tears down her checks kept steaming
She knew with this final self inflicted act
There would be no coming back

There would be no more love, no hope
If not for drugs, how would she cope

With one last sigh
One last cry
She pounded what made her, her to dust
She felt no other way out, it was a must
The chain that bound her to helping others just turned to rust
It broke and fell away
She wondered why on this earth would she now stay

For with all the good she had tried to spread into this wicked place
She sincerely thought it would be returned when difficulties she faced
Only to find
No other human would act as kind

Every single person she tured to
Only replied "what can I do"
"I would help, but I must put myself first"
Her loving heart made her feel so utterly cursed

So she decided that was it
No longer with the afflicted would she sit
No longer would she put others before herself
They could all fall off the ******* shelf

This decision was not freeing
It was gonna **** her completely, her fragile soul, her being
It was gonna break the ties that held her to this life
But when she need help, no one was there to end the strife

Now this woman with the biggest heart
Has to rip out her most loving thoughts
Now she is as cold and heartless as the rest
But look really hard, there is still the stain of tears upon her breast

She glances up from her work
Only to see people acting like jerks
So she put her eyes down
She dosen't need to see people acting like clowns
She goes back to her job wearing a frown
For her no where can hope be found

The human race for her has been void of truth
Only ****** lies have been told to her, even in her youth
Her eyes have done glazed over
She no longer searches for that elusive four leaf clover
Her feelings have been tucked away
In a cobweb drawer and that is where they'll stay
Her heart had slowly tured to granite
There was no one that would love her in this great big planet

Work is all she has to make her get up out of bed
But thoughts are always swirling around in her broken head

Every day she begged for death to come
But all that knew this told her, she was dumb

"Look at all the beauty on this earth that could be found"
She agreed the sights where beautiful and very much abound
But for her it was just an oxymoron for all the agony it surrounds

She feels like a freak in a side show
People just stand and gawk as her sorrow grows
So she buries herself in work untill she can go home
It's her safe little dome

She locks her doors and turns off her phone
She lets no one in, there's no one to hear her groans
She really just wishes for love, she's so all alone

She glances up from her work
Only to see people acting like jerks
So she put her eyes down
She dosen't need to see people acting like clowns
She goes back to her job wearing a frown
For her no where can hope be found

The human race for her has been void of truth
Only ****** lies have been told to her, even in her youth
Her eyes have done glazed over
She no longer searches for that elusive four leaf clover
Her feelings have been tucked away
In a cobweb drawer and that is where they'll stay
Her heart had slowly tured to granite
There was no one that would love her in this great big planet

Work is all she has to make her get up out of bed
But thoughts are always swirling around in her broken head

Every day she begged for death to come
But all that knew this told her, she was dumb

"Look at all the beauty on this earth that could be found"
She agreed the sights where beautiful and very much abound
But for her it was just an oxymoron for all the agony it surrounds

She feels like a freak in a side show
People just stand and gawk as her sorrow grows
So she buries herself in work untill she can go home
It's her safe little dome

She locks her doors and turns off her phone
She lets no one in, there's no one to hear her groans
She really just wishes for love, she's so all alone

I often feel frac/
                           tured

As though I’ve
f
a
   l
     l
      e
        n
Between
           The
Cracks
          Of
Memory-

Like a broken bottle
Left
Forlornly in a wood,
Or
A faded,
Sun-bleached
Photograph;
Decaying
In an empty house-

When you’ve withdrawn
Upon,
within,
around
Yourself, so much
That even the dust stagnates-

How can you expect
Anyone
To intrude
Into that self-imposed solitude?
Especially,
If you,
Yourself,
Have no clue how to break it?

The bell has lost it’s clapper,
A mallet without a gong,
Tongueless  mouth gaping wide-
Emitting only a feeble moan,
Easily dismissed as the wind,
Whipping around the eaves,
and through the trees.

No one seems to understand
just how heavy this burden is to bear
what it takes to get out of bed
what it’s like to fight your own mind
to face these thoughts daily
and to somehow not give up
to keep fighting though you want to quit
to keep breathing when you wish you would stop
Imagine for a minute, each second is agony
each thought is worse than the last
imagine feeling so heavy
feeling so tired from fighting
just trying to be “normal”
tured of forcing a smile
and you’re told to stop thinking this way
as though you’re in control of this
as if medication is not keeping you afloat
as if this depression can just be turned off
no one understands this burden
longing to die, but dying to live
hoping for anything to pull you back above the surface
so that you don’t drown in the darkness
No one can understand this burden