It had been a good morning. I woke up feeling beautiful and full of life. I'd called my very good friend Fola for our usual morning chat and we had teased ourselves over the phone. She got drunk the night before at the club and some random guy had taken advantage of her drunkenness! He was about to start fondling her ***** when I came into the picture! She was giggly and flirty and that probably gave the guy the green light.

She was a bit embarrassed when I brought it up but Fola was a cool headed person so she laughed it off. I went through my daily routine like a zombie, it was the same old thing; dress up, go for lectures and then see what else we could do with the day. The week was usually like that. We take turns to sleep in each other's room, we were always together. She had a serious relationship! At least it looked that way at the time and I wasn't envious, I'd never been that kind of person. But I was just a free lady, men didn't appeal to me much but occasionally I get some that are my type but they always come with a price. In came this guy, I'd met him through her. The kind of guy that goes with anything and anyone. He speaks well and before I knew it, he became my addiction. She wasn't comfortable with it, but it was harmless! With her relationship she sure was heading for the alter so I discarded all the pointers I saw. She couldn't be in love with Scott, it would be farcical. Weeks later Raymond asked me out and I said no. I didn't want anything that'll get in the way of our friendship. And considering the fact that he was quite controversial, I didn't want to be his fancy woman either.

However, I found solace in him and discovered he really had ears for listening. He made me calm in the most ugly situation. He was my rock, I depended on him. We had it going for a while and one day he offered to take me out for dinner and I didn't hesitate. I unwittingly got into a situation I would have preferred on a normal day to be a nightmare.  He had a friend with him so there was no need to be nervous. We had a civilised conversation, nothing unnerving. I was starting to have the idea of me and him together, a happy ever after kind of story. I was wrong, I was in for it and sure took the bait. Time passed so quickly it was late! There was no cab for me to call and he said he couldn't drive me home! I wasn't sure, but the probing between my thighs wanted to explore. We got to his house and we settled.


Later things got really emotional and we started to kiss. I was on tenterhooks. My hands roamed his body softly, afraid I would tamper with something delicate. He explored my body with confidence, my ******* were taut when his hands found them at last. I made sounds in my throat and he giggled! When his mouth found my *******, I gasped! He ****** them as he spread my thigh and fondled with my honey spot. When he finally took me, it was ecstasy. He was mumbling reassuring words and I responded with passion. We were at it, somewhat changing positions, I was embarrassed and he laughed at me. When he came, he tried to stop himself from shouting by using my shoulder. He left me ******* bite marks. I nursed the shoulder for a few days and that was all.


When my friend called me, she was somewhat disappointed and insinuated I'd been used and it shouldn't have been me. I was dumbfounded, I shed hot tears and couldn't stop. Could Ray be the kind of guy who kiss and tell? I heard words I've said to him being replayed and aired by various audience. My relationship with Fola became estranged and there was nothing we could do about it. We stopped sharing thoughts while I hurt! Fola knew me better than anyone in the world, but this particular pain I wasn't willing to share. I felt foolish.

He'd made the bite marks the reference point and evidence. The incessant calls, texts and affection was just a coy. I was broken beyond repair. I didn't wanna get healed. I stopped trusting and couldn't see beyond the hurt. I lost the desire to live. There was nothing to say to those who knew about it, it was simply an emotional mire.
In the end, the possibility I created in my head- of us being together was nothing but a mirage!

The curves of your sleeping body
leave me on

tenterhooks -

the space between dreams
and waking

a pause -

the arch of your back shining
like the moon

translucent -

a slice of time preserved in the
maze of my

memory

so far, so great, & the promise
of so long lingers on tomorrow;
hung on tenterhooks, staggering
sparks run through the early hours
as realisation hovers. that only less
than the length of a week, now, may
hold my consignation to this side
of another stretch of soil, another
long dream.

& everyone i've ever and never met
will look up at stars the same, but
all my constellations, bent n mirrored,
will flare up and light out footstep
patterns like eye-blink,
surveying all that was lost and found.

but, for now,
gales whip up a storm outside,
like the electricity planted
in my gut. another
momentary awakening.

restless but doin okay

uneasy, ill at ease, restive, fidgety, edgy, on edge, tense, worked up, nervous, agitated, anxious, on tenterhooks, keyed up;

jumpy ,jittery, twitchy, uptight, antsy

sleepless, wakeful

fitful, broken, disturbed, troubled, unsettled

"a restless night"

offering no physical or emotional rest; involving constant activity or motion.

I didn't cry. I couldn't.
I thought I was being strong. Crying isn't weakness though.
I thought I was doing it for the family. I wasn't helping nor hindering anyone.
I made myself ill out of pride. You were diseased.
Cancer victims don't suffer alone. Their loved ones suffer with them.
We don't suffer with pain, no. We suffer with the anxiety of the wish for health or relief.
Never knowing what would come. Always on tenterhooks.
That's just the way life works. Until you left.
Now you've left us. To suffer without you is almost harder.
It's not the death that's tough. It's the living that comes after.
In simple terms, there are three stages. For us watching the victims.
The first. Living a nearly normal life, nothing's wrong.
The second. Accepting the cancer and learning to live with you in pain.
The third. Living without you.
Cancer is mean. Cancer is selfish.
Cancer kills without a cause. Cancer.

Spoken word.
It ain't about
rhymes
sonnets
Shakespeare, Dickenson, or Poe.
It ain't about
the iambic pentameter flow
or the 5-7-5 of a haiku.
It's about
the heartbeat
the pulse that courses through your very soul in a rhythm that is completely
you.
It is YOU that falls from trembling lips
into the figurative and literal microphone before you;
YOU who breathes life into words that would
otherwise be considered
scribbles on a page.
It's an essence
a way of being
and beating
the drum of your being
that would otherwise have you hanging---
on tenterhooks,
waiting for permission
to raise your voice above the rest
just so you can feel
like you've got something to say.
And child,
you do.
You got a story all your own
a thunder that outnumbers
the roar of the lions that are too busy
with their 9 to 5 to stop
and listen.
So don't think you have to shout
just to be heard
but don't you whisper the words
that mean so much
but can seem so small.
They ain't.
Those words are your fists,
balled up tightly and raised high in the air
demanding the attention of anyone who will just
listen.
They strike
again and again
breaking the air and airwaves
with a newfound
beat
so don't you think
your fists are too small
to mean something
because child, they ain't.
Raise your words high
with that of your peers
and chant them again and again
like it's the last war cry that will ever
be heard
around the world
your voice is strong.
It echoes
and shakes the earth to it's very core
like a stampede
so don't you stop
don't you stay silent now
just step up to the mic like this
will be your legacy
your last words to live by
and the first words to make you
reborn.

A strange and potent rapture
Held their eyes upon the ice
As the dancers pranced on razor blades
Each mastered movement seemed so trite

They whirled and leapt without misstep
Beneath a guise of fearlessness
For they knew they scrutinizing board
Could acclaim or else condemn

The crowd was hung on tenterhooks
A crescendo rose amongst the horns
The ovation moment soon at hand
Save just the ****** unperformed

Raving sounds crashed from the pit
As he tossed her into pirouette
A faltered glance, a clumsy catch
They toppled down as good as dead

Fleeting, rolling days, weeks,
years of half-memories with
no faces,
but places - parks,
playgrounds, forests, ditches -
in which youthful time was
spent without a thought for
permanence or preservation.
The "best years of your life"
twisted, tarnished, pastel-
smeared to indistinguishable
faces, places, seasons,
feelings, fears, loyalties -
scrunched up and abandoned;
left to seep inside a clockwork mind
teeming with trivial tenterhooks
and patchwork recollections.

press the butter
into my hand
watch it slink away
dissolving oval opal
full moon winter
cold preserves,
or so they tell me.

galvanizing current of blazing unknowns
hung in the sky on tenterhooks
salve and siphon
strung together, web of calloused fingers
don’t need to laminate the little gestures —
just the feelings behind them
poster board picture placement
cull the very thing you’ve ignored
the shore shakes and shimmers
and i can endure this ocean no more.

String of raindrops fall to its quite melody
Rhyme with the breeze of a vocal splendor of black daisy
To the tune of every bee sip the nectar while accessing the anthers and pistil
Made music to a garden of daffodils in April

A sharpen affection piercing a stone amethyst
Asunder of its composure with a helpless catalyst
A scattered pieces spells the truth of an essence is out of worth
The antidote of intoxication has been futile a miasma to a path


Gaze into a night sky grid-like segments of stars in sight
A semblance of a two sign that shines so bright at night
Vast Ocean of complicated happiness sinks a deepest peaceful loneliness
Wide-ranging terrestrial of verdict congeal with annoyance of fate


Precession of equinoxes changed twice a thousand years
A tenth cycle in which Pisces and Taurus situate vertigo in twelfth mensis
A Supreme Being fills the gap of distant in a long period of time
Keep on tenterhooks as the time goes by

See the kettle boiling
(Ate the biscuit long ago)
Have to let it brew a while
Tenterhooks are all aglow

Nervous system ready
For the stimulating brew
     {sip}
Oh my goodness gracious
Too amazing to be true

For the answer scroll down














C See the kettle boiling
8 (Ate the biscuit long ago)

H Have to let it brew a while
10 Tenderhooks are all aglow

N Nervous system ready
4 For the stimulating brew

O Oh my goodness gracious
2 Too amazing to be true

C8 H1O N4 O2 – The Caffeine Molecule

Bring a stone for our feet
and we'll study the contours of our bodies
with fingers grappling like tenterhooks
Dig our palms into bared flesh
and we will spill laughter from our mouths
down our collars, our throats
like spirited red wine
I will lose my foothold to run my toes
across your ankles

And with hilarity
staining our clothes
your arms will collar me to you
So when your lips find mine
we will tumble to the embrace of the rippling sea

And kiss
and breathe
underwater.

pattern set, the loom is idle.

slaying the reed is over,
task of threading done.

hope over  holiday,
a thread may fall.

the mill is a place of
meeting, greeting

this new year.

tenterhooks.

the pattern is set,
in stone.

sbm.

inside your head, I live with broken words competing as company
we try every time and almost, it works
perhaps we try too hard?

I gave you things I thought you'd like
now, I feel a total fool with missed cell chance
and silence roaring in my midnight ears.

this skill you hold so high, I am fearful
on tenterhooks, step hunched on eggshell
I'd hate to lose you.

She's constantly looking at her watch, gazing around, anticipating an entity, on tenterhooks
She rambles and wanders, agitated
Until she felt a soft brush against her shoulder

"Where have you been? I've been looking for you. You're 30 minutes late"

As she mumbles and fumbles in distress,
her eyes were hooked to another pair of blue eyes, across the alley
Their movements were in recognition
She was at the wrong venue all this while

She suddenly lose her words
Her lips were anchored as she witnesses
Those pair of blue eyes, were sparkling in brilliance, meeting another pair of blue eyes
Their hands locked as they marched away together

She grabs her sore chest, grieving, howling, queering the pitch
Her mind dwelt away, bewildered in her own sentiment
Ignoring the entity next to her, he was in obscure silence

"I've been waiting for you patiently, my whole life" he uttered.

She found the wrong person, at the right time
While he found the right person, at the wrong time
Their tides of life crashing
Their path were inextricably intertwined,
for a reason
Time and fate swears to conspire with the universe
To discover what lies ahead for them

Is the end nigh?
I fear for you
I grieve
I cry

I worry you’re going to leave
And how I’m going to cope
You’re pallor is grey, you’re weary
And why I do not know

I wish I could make you better
But I don’t know where to start
I love you more than you know
You’re embedded in my heart

You’ve been here my whole life
I’ve never known a world without you
If this is it then give me strength
To be there and see you through

Watching you suffer this way
Tears me totally apart
I go for I can’t bear to stay
And watch you drift, depart

On tenterhooks we wait
For the outcome of your tests
I gave you the only gift I could
The return of the one you love best

Hoping together
You’ll find a way
To face what’s in store
And celebrate

The time you have left
For I fear it is little
Thus it is precious
Though weak and brittle

Make the most of it, please
Put your weapons down
Call a truce
The time is now.

What do you really want from us?
We've been working our arses off
For hours and hours
Days and days
Weeks and weeks
Months and months
And we've faced numerous obstacles along the way
Obstacles placed by the market
By the candidates to whom we've been speaking
And by even yourselves!!
In spite of all these hurdles
We've done our best
To ensure that you get the right people
For the requirements you've assigned us
However, the way in which you reciprocate our actions
Is bewildering, to say the least
As far as decision-making is concerned
You're even worse than Hamlet!
You reject a lot of quality resumes
Without any rhyme or reason
You change your requirements
As per your whims and fancies
And then cry foul
When you lose a few good candidates
Due to your inexplicable actions
You put roles on hold at random
And keep the best candidates on tenterhooks
Waiting for an interview that'd never happen
And then blame them for dropping out eventually
You demand resumes at the speed of a cheetah
And provide feedback at the speed of a tortoise
All in all, you ensure that we tear our hair out
By its very roots
Every waking moment of our lives
In order to satisfy every whim of yours
But will you truly ever be satisfied?
Let me ask you again
What do you really want from us?

I miss
The tenderness
The soft tone
The passing touch
The squeeze of an arm
The gentle caress
The post-****** hug
The explanation of how things are

Now it feels
Remote
Distant
Disconnected
Two foreign ships passing in the night
Noticing the other’s faded glow
But ne’er again the Twain shall meet

How can it not be thus
When you treat him how you do
Flying off the handle at the drop of a hat
Shouting and screaming
Pushing him away
Both on tenterhooks
Treading on eggshells
Waiting for the other to blow

You can never change another
Only yourself
Focus on how you want to be
Take care of yourself
Eat well, Eat little, Eat often
Offer him those little touches you crave so much
Be gentle
Be kind
Both to him, And yourself

You delay my salary and incentives
But expect me to stay positive
On work, do you want me to pace up
But you yourself don't pace up
When it comes to paying my dues
Fed up am I, with you!

You delay my salary and incentives
But my work, am I supposed to love
You keep me on tenterhooks
How can you be in my good books?

You delay my salary and incentives
However, the revenue, am I expected to drive
This is so ******* unfair
But you don't seem to care!!

You delay my salary and incentives
Lame reasons, do you give
Seriously, do you expect me to buy them?
Act, I will not, according to your whims!!

You delay my salary and incentives
With respect to the latter, has it been months
All this while, have I been very patient
Always bearing the brunt
Of your constant nagging and scolding
However, is there a limit to everything
The exact words of my grandfather
Now, have I reached the end of my tether
Always, do you want me to deliver
Now, it's time for YOU to deliver
That's all I can say!!

1.
Spirits trample the rain-starved
Plains like herds of fattened buffalo.

Cloaked in tawny hides, they pound
the earth: invincible grass dancers.

From the ground spring their harvests
of sickness and health, good and evil.

A shaman ignites his sage bundle,
tosses pebbles on the tipi floor.

He stumbles backward, eyes turned
inward, arms outstretched to receive

the medicine's blessing. He soars in vapor
trails of hawks, surpassing the smoke,

the sky, the spirits' singing to the drum,
the cosmos' luminous fringe.

Eyes on fire like liquid lightning,
he peers into the future, the past,

liberates forces of healing, gathers up
baskets of goodness, effusive with wonder.

2.
Above the dusty brown hills, the turquoise
sky casts shadows on ancestral shores.

All must cross the waters, awaken from
their trances, devour supernatural dreams.

The shaman cries out in ancient rapture,
his flesh on tenterhooks, shredding into leaves

of supplication, tears of blood and water.
Horses snort in the distance. Raptors

circle overhead. The shaman grapples
with the spirits, ***** power from their

dances, grinds grasses' green seedlings,
the growing treasure of the earth.

He calls down hawks of heaven, builds
a bed of red feathers. Smoke wavers

through the night sky, orange as a harvest moon.
In the deep sleep of bears, the dying rise up.

alternately titled: any resemblance between this title,
and living persons purely coincidental.

Generality maybe doth equate,
this non-overt obvious purpose
to any hidden agenda
insufficient to generate
pitfall of obloquy, ostracism,
and outrageousness
response, nonetheless of late,
this fluttering not alluding
to anything more than
innocuous overture,

no matter this poem tethered,
suspended, and braced
on tenterhooks I await
tinged him, who felt
tempted to communicate,
(albeit vaguely – deliberately),
but yet perhaps bold
daring, and outwardly
enough to arouse,
quiet aspiration begat

upon unspecified social media
hankering suddenly toward
reflexively reaching
for opportunistic masterful bait
I pray no implied
illicit transgression,
hence hope NOT
to induce backlash denigrate
ting logophile predicated
on unintended outcome,

sans this human
spirit did enervate
merely from flattering comments,
that moost likely
will NOT transcend
uplifting virtual fate,
whereat this web surfer
experienced alluring,
captivating, gravitating
intoxicating kindled magic,

yet steers far clear
blatantly didst debate
against broadcasting
explicit sentiments, create
ting unwarranted ballroom
blitzkrieg of potential hate
towards me, cuz aye
merely aim to communicate
em ma nant worthy attraction
toward one modest gal

with true mettle of late
only gently broaching,
how euphoric her comments,
(oft times juiced one word),
affected mine psyche to hum,
jingle, and pleasantly vibrate
and quasi valiantly
tis folly to wait
for "the right
moment," to elevate

an affinity, though aye dont
infer any inappropriate
iniquitous tete a tete,
thus enough clues
(albeit ambiguous), she
unwittingly within rhyme,
her worthy existence I state
hence someone I would
like to date,
you figure logic
of this sexagenarian married man.

I feel all eyes on me,
searing into my flesh,
as I break into a cold sweat.

I'm a bundle of nerves,
jangling like pins and needles,
chest completely sealed up.

My heart's in my mouth,
skipping a beat or ten,
about to near my wits' end.

Butterflies rush through
the knots in my stomach,
my skin crawling with bugs.

My legs feel like jelly,
my boots quietly quaking,
there's no mistaking it,

I'm hanging on tenterhooks,
at the end of my rope,
about to lose all hope.

As I go back home,
hoping for some respite,
the only thoughts in my dome,
are of tomorrow's plight.