cyclic lingering

disconnected rambling

the same words rearanged

breathes shortening

impotent bargaining

the same pattern misbehaves

Ive always walked this way

hormonal litter cursed by anatomy

hyesteria



weepy futility

uncharacteristic of one so bold

the words of tongues

drag mud through wounds

a voided heart : not so





deep breaths

stand strong in misery

mindfulness, like a drug

disconnect and call it religion

pacing pacing pacing

thoughts;



I bleed for the words of others

For both praise and scheming lies

I wish to leave this haunted soul

but I

But I

but I ...what?

need to run?

to hide?

to hold my ground?

we'll see as it comes

a controlling women's worst nightmare

last night i stayed up
until the stars lost their warmth
until the constellations rearanged
until the moon departed back into the galaxy
just thinking about you

Depression claims another soul
Carried it down the rabbit hole

There it will remain
Forever shackled in it's chains

For once the black dog bites down
He drags you underground

You will remain changed
Your world rearanged

Your buried alive
No chance to survive

You were my first girl
we said, let's give it a whitl

I knew on that night
we were doing something right.

Who'da thought I'd like you
No longer we'd have to be blue

The, somethings occuted
they made everything blurred

we went awhile, not talking
no longer were we rocking

but now soomething has changed
my feelings, they're rearanged

because when i think of you, I think of me...
and I can't let that be

I've avoided these feelings for long
between my ******* like a thong

just crying to be free
but then people would see

I'm not sure what this means
and honestly I'm scraed of inbetweens

I'm not trying to pull you a long
but I don't know what's right and what's wrong

I'm just trying to be honest
it's you're I've thought of the longest

So today the 17th of October
I'm saying forget her

It's without you
that makes me blue.

Roses are red...
Violets are blue...
I'm just gonna stop this crap...
And come out and say I love you.
I know sometimes I'm not poetic.
Sometimes really quite pathetic.
But you'll never find a girl who loves you more.
It's like one day I opened a door.
Let you in.
Gosh, I don't know where to begin,
How do I explain the day when it all changed,
How to I explain the way my mind became rearanged?
You were always there.
Somewhere.
I'd see you everywhere.
Smile as I walked the halls.
My thoughts bouncing off the walls.
Never had I met a girl so beautiful.
Never had I picture a new story to be told...
Willingly I decided this was all part of a bigger plan.
Gladly, I took your hand.
Slowly day after day,
Growing closer to you.
Until we were the inseparable two.
Your hand in mine.
Always by my side.
Eating lunch.
Following routines.
Everything simply meant to be.
Day by day I began to fall,
Harder and harder,
There was no going back.
My heart was under attack.
Quickly you won the war.
Taking over my heart.
Making it beat off the charts.
Every time I saw you my stomach spun.
I could definatly tell you were the one.
Never had I met a girl like you.
Never again do I want to.
(Didn't mean that in a bad way)
Your the only girl I ever want to be with.
Still asking my self on the daily how did I get so lucky.
Your...
Stunning,
Mesmerizing,
Beautiful,
Gorgeous,
Caring,
Deep minded,
Amazing,
Breath taking,
And everything in between.
So the story of us.
You've lived it once before.
Well only a chapter.
We have many yet to go.
so,
This book won't write its self,
So let me begin again,
Never going to reach the end...
I'll start this page.
Simply by saying...
I am madly in love with you.
And absolutely everything you do.

This is my fire range
The place I put my thoughts when they are rearanged.
Yes this is my firing range.
The only thing keeping me partially sane.
When I need to let go I hold on
This page gives me a new dawn
So yes this is my firing range
Where I fire the most hateful words
With a wirl in my brain.
Welcome to my firing range.

As time goes by
things start to change
things get misplaced
many things rearanged
dreames come true
but hearts will break
from the past
we learn from mistakes
so we'll  hear advice
and finally start to listen
bad ideas will fade away
new  thoughts and better ways
will seem to glisten
you'll feel ashamed
and want to dissapear
with many tears you'll cry and grieve
But take it in,
you are enough
turn things around
you're strong and you are tough.