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Another night of television hell I was in the middle of a hell of a block.
And withoout the funds my usal cure of hookers and *******  wasnt a open
road so to speak.

I was lost I wondred the streets like  ****** in need of a john.
When through the darkness it appearded a well lit haven in the middle of
a thoughtless storm.

The cinema cafe drinks and films  hmm from looking at the marquee seems
there wasnt much to choose from .
It read like a preschooler had puked apon the board.

There were sequels, and prequels,  gay vampires that walked around in the day,
Weirdos who flew around on broom sticks and loads of treenage **** minus the ****.
Dear lord! I had to get to the bottom of this problem.

The pimple faced kid at the booth asked me in a squeeky yet firm semi manly
voice can I help you sir?
Yes my dear crater face whats with this **** you call films here ?
Umm I dont make em sir there just whats popular.

The greezy faced hampster had a good point in what he said that is.
cause other than that I had no clue what he was working with really what do you think
I am some kinda pervert?

Let me ask you something do you like this **** you sell tickets to?
**** no dude its garbage for halfwits and retards  and some people from Canada.
Who the hell wants to see that **** from twilight  play snow white?
Let me ask is that a adult film?
Duh no ******* we dont show thoose here.

Would you know were I could see thoose films?
Im doing some umm research on human sexulality  it involves alotta big words
which i cant spell so i'll spare you the details  just point me in the right direction
and nobody gets hurt.

Dude they havent shown thoose kinda movies in theaters for years.
Oh yeah and theres this thing called the internet once is way better than writting on your
cave walls.
Kids there really great *******.

After some back in fourth who gives a **** or really reads this ***** banter.
The man with the pizza face finally hit his limit.
Look *******!
I dont make the **** ,I dont watch the ****!
If you gotta problem take it up with the studio exects in Hollywood.

You gotta point there sparky give me your keys!
What! No.
Give me your keys or else.
Or else what grandpa  your gonna hit me with your walker.

No you silly *******.
Or else I'll shoot you.
Ya see young man that should wear a iron mask.
You may have a I Phone
But I have a handgun  and  that always wins the debate no hand em over.

After a brief moment of the little ******* ***** crying and begging for me not to **** him.
Really he watched to many TV shows I wasnt gonna **** him besides.
Im allergic to prison and it wasnt even a real gun what a *******.

I was off in my borrowed car  to the land of bad ideas and great **** jobs.
A place more fake than barbies dream home minus that dickless tool she always
hung out with  not that I played with Barbie's but she does have some really kickarse *******
and im a big fan of ******* hell what great writer isnt?

It was a drive that seemed to take forever  but finally i pulled up to the front gate
of Warner Brothers studios.
The little weird looking gate keeper looked at me and said .
can I help you sir.

Yes please direct me to your leader strange gaurd troll.
Uhh sir this is a closed lot only people with passes can enter.
Well what if i know the secret word?

Who told you about the secret word?
I had him with that one.
These Hollyweird vampires couldnt have enough brain power to
keep some pass on them.
Okay whats the secret word sir?

I had to think deep and from such a shallow mind that was asking alot.
What could it be it had to be something that rang true like snorting a line of
coke of Katy Perry's  ***'s.

Dear lord I had it.

Brad Pitt ***** donkey *****.

The man looked at me in utter shock  I wasnt sure if he was gonna let me pass
or try to pull me out my slightly worn odd smelling borrowed car.
Alright sir it's lot 69 hahaha  yeah I know im demented.

Right next to the lot there filming Winds Of Change **** The Musical!
Staring Johnny Depp and Bogo the ***** chimp.
****** i wish i wasnt busy  that chimp seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders.
Well when he wasnt jerking off and eating bannans while throwing his poo.
What a talent indeed.

I found myself in the studio people running every which a way.
It was total confussion   seemd like no one had a clue what the hell they were doing.
Hey ******* shouted some weird little man in a chair who the **** are you!?.

The little red haired man must truely be dellusional.
How could someone not know Gonzo?
Well sir just who the **** are you? I replied.

Well im Ron ******* Howard *****!
Hmm never herd of you are you a director or something?
What!!!
Ever hear of Andy Griffith  or Happy Days?
Oh yeah your that little dork that hung out with that cop yeah what a snitch.
I was playing his son *******.

Dam well seems this ginger finally explained to me why that man always had him around
it all makes sense now i just thought he was some kinda pervert.
Course seems like he had picked up some bad habbits from that Fonzie guy
never trust a man who calls the restroom his office but what a man does with
another man in a ***** restroom for plesure or profit is his own bussiness.

Look *******  what the hell do ya want?
Lets start with a gallon's of nothern light maybe some top shelf hookers some good music.
Maybe a couple hits of some lets say nose candy maybe turn off the lights and see what happens.
Im just saying sometimes ya gotta let nature take it's drug filled course.

Im not talking bout from life dip **** i mean what the hell are you doing here?
Oh **** sorry there  carrot top.
I wanna see the person in charge that green lights all this remake **** you souless
morons put out and call entertainment.

The little red haired devil was silent as he explained to me no one ever saw the
studio head it was like meeting Santa Claus or ****** or being in the pressence of a unicorn
really whats the diffrence.

He warned me of the dangers of meeting such a great mind yet like I do with
most people I simply shook me head and agreed much like i do with
women im trying to sleep with duh like I care about her tweenty seven cats.

Finally after learning I wasnt taking no for a answer he lead me to a room
And in this room was a screen and apon the screen appread a face.
Who dare question the mighty head of the film studio!!

The voice was loud  still it had that comfoting quallity that you just have to love in
a windbag *******.
Umm me.

You well who the hell are you?
Duh ******* im the long winded ******* writting the story.
Oh well what the **** do you want?

Sir I wanna know what the hell's wrong with you people.
Look im a drunk but i could never be drunk enough to pay a fortune to watch half the **** you call entertainment between remakes and films based on gay *** stories about vampires
and dudes who run around the woods calling themselves werewolves.

You mean you actully saw twilight?
The voice asked me on the verge of laughter.
Duh i see a bunch of hot chicks  going anywhere im following without asking
much like the mindless drones that watch that ****.

Sir your a sad sad man.
The strange face on the screen vanished out from the curtan appeared
what looked like *** it was Bugs Bunny !!

Bug's!  
What's up gonz?
****** i always knew you were real much like Fergie and spanish fly.

Gonzo i know half this **** ***** but its because mindless idiots love studip ****.
Look you were once a popular writer and you cant even spell.
Ouch now go ahead mighty furry samuri.

Ya see whatever makes money we put out and really stupid young girls much like your teenage
wife love that **** and being perverts like yourself wanna get laid you'll take them to that ****.
Bugs are you saying it's all about money?

No **** *******.

We talked drank watched backroom casting couch tapes of early starlets like
Harrison Ford no wonder he was so good with that whip.

It was magic minus the  money loving **** mouse that'll sue your ***.
Bugs I gotta ask you a deep question?
Shoot there Gonz .
Is Mickey really just a cross dresser calling himself Minnie?

You are messed up in so many ways Gonz.
We laughed swapped ***** stories  like the time Bugs slipped
Daisy some ****** and got a ******* in the magic castle  while goofy watched.

What the **** is Goofy?

Gonz .
My furry amigo said to **** if I know.

Untill next time kids stay crazy

And remember if you wish apon a star  ya better make sure to whom thoose copy rights
belong to truley are.
Cause thoose rich ******* will sue your *** .

Cheers

                               FIN?
Amy Irby Jul 2012
peach cobbler, that's what you remind of
the sweet, southern staple that everyone loves

but when the pom-poms fell from your hands
you told the girls in the van on the way to fun mountain
"I can't do those stunts anymore."

I still laugh at myself for my inappropriate and abrupt,  
"WHAT!?!?"
but your collected calmness collected me
until i saw in the back of your eyes the collected fear
and realized the daunting fact,
that even though you were nearly 9 months my younger
in 9 months
you were going to have to be years older than me

we were raised to plan
but planning doesn't determine how life occurs
cause you never really plan to fall down
i know there were those who showed you love
but i'm sure being named "pastor's daughter" and labeled "cliche"
didn't do you any favors in the judgement days
and i'm sorry i only made you a dress to hide the bump
when you deserved a cape
to soar over that injustice
that no one has the right to serve

what its like to inhabit a body that is growing beauty
i don't know, but watching you
i have seen it can be ... a change
which, i'm sure, that doesn't even remotely explain ... does it?
no it's ... a Life Alteration of Volcanic Proportions
cause I'm sure, at times, you feel as if standing in the wake of an explosion
and sometimes the earth spews fiery filth at you

but i believe mothers are fire proof
cause they know they have beauty that grew inside
and when you look at that doe eyed, preschooler son
remember that love strengthens you
heaven is powerful
and you are both beautiful
for a girl whose story has always inspired me, we were 15 at the time

thanks to everyone who has read this and pushed it to the new and popular list here on Hello Poetry!
much gratitude friends!
Dominic Latino Jul 2014
It's a trap all of it the jobs, the cars, and forms of entertainment.
We are blind to good will and people are dumb enough to twerk on a grave for a social networking sight for views.
Now I'm not saying that I do not fall victim, but my intentions are far beyond this preschooler *******.
Now I ask you in good faith
Can you stop
Just for a day
mads Feb 2015
as always, i have been reading poems new to me,
by poets also new to me.
while my eyes caressed each word as if it were the last orb of breathe of the last flower to freeze in the winter,
the engines in my dingy brain halted, without warning.
without any obvious street sign or road block.
but then the pearl of a thought latched itself to me, became apart of me.
and for days now i have been molding this thought in my hands as a preschooler using a new tube a playdoh would.
my fingers manipulated the string of words,
maybe this will wor- no no maybe if i pinch this here it wi- no no no
no
    no
no
     NO
so, i decided to come flat out and bring to life the embryo of an idea of a thought that was swelling and letting water into my brain.

who is the "you"?
yes, i said it who the hell is the "you"?

i have seen it is the best and most famous poets' poems,
i have even seen it in my own.
the "you".

who is your "you"?
you know, example: when you write a poem and instead of saying "Sam" (your ex you haven't gotten over) you just put the word "you" instead?

look at these:

Sam kissed my eyelids,
but Sam only kissed them so i wouldn't see his lies.

and you turn it into:

You kissed my eyelids,
but you only kissed them so i wouldn't see your lies.

another example:

the "you" in this poem is, well, you.
this is dumb but i couldn't get this idea out of my head idk man
sandra wyllie Sep 2019
The baby cries
Never smiles
Won’t be comforted within your arms
Put him in his baby swing
You didn’t know it autism

The toddler never plays
With the other children
Always stays to himself
He doesn’t drive the toy trucks
He lines them up
You didn’t know it autism

The preschooler doesn’t talk
But his vocabulary his that of a boy in the
second grade
His comprehensive language better than
his expressive
And he always throwing temper-tantrums
You didn't know it was autism

The teachers complain
He can’t sit still
Stares off in space
Won’t join at circle
Other children don’t like him
You didn’t know it autism

The doctor says there is no cure
You scream and curse
And want answers
Now you know it was autism
This is my son prior brain damage
Dune not be bashful, grumpy, leery
   or any other contemporary dwarf man
even countless less well known dwarves
   (that never got a chance
   to play a bit part) such as wham

bam
thank you ma'am
linkedin with emergence
   of Internet and poetry slam
opportunities availed by Uncle Sam

which characters (albeit fiction)
   nonetheless, helped spawn a quiet yet free
   global, radically riotous,
   totally tubular transformation

   affecting a societal and human specie
but not credited contributing
   to paradigm seismic shift that garnered tree
mend us plenti fully birthed,
   impacted and transformed how wii

(more particularly many gifted minds)
   bridged geographical distance
(encompassing all four corners
   of the Earth) to enhance

what came to be called the world wide web,
   digital strong armed lance
information super high,  "Cyber Revolution",
   etc allowing  one to prance

and essentially transcend reality to brook
   commanding, commingling, communicating, hook
   line and sinker, et cetera
   with an excellent access and out look
reaching the most distant cranny and nook.

This (bit a bing chitty bang)
   manifestation toward
exponentially faster processing capacities
   more powerful than pen or sword
(based on principles of Moore’s Law), reward
electronically solidifying
   binary unification swiftly tail lord

engenders greater dependence and reliance
   figuratively shrinking the drinking gourd
allowing far flung aliens, family,
   friends, et cetera to ford

great distances via sophisticated electronics
   courtesy of super smart mother board
enabling ever more complex
   electronic contrivances
   the generic **** Sapien gibbon could afford.

Analogous to Medieval Age
this quiet ***** riot creation
   vis a vis Internet did un cage
actual overcoming physical barriers
   ushered Hall mark gauge
marked by Computer/Digital Age odyssey),

   especially sharing pixillated page
at light speed, where the ordinary individual
   could keep in contact )
   albeit with every now and again
   a bit torrent rage

and in some instances tapping
   smarts of a preschooler considered a sage
which kindergarten lad/lass
   commandeered a handsome wage

whereat the parental figure did cajole, wheedle or beg
their wealthy progeny promising
   son/ daughter of a healthy nest egg
stored money in Swiss bank accounts or hollow leg
perhaps christened jpeg
or if an avid weekly reader of Moby **** Queequeg

who felt incorporeal storied power
   of Herman Melville as zen unseen aid
instructing hypothetic rich kid to drop out of school
   before his/her first grade
coz of all the money he/she made

which affected modus operandi rendered obsolete
   child worker laws
   and no sweat of brow getting paid
people used bitcoin (or other online currency)
   additionally making purchases
   with scant keystrokes to complete a trade.

As with any major dramatically novel scheme
light bulb idea scribbled on napkin
   scrap of paper
   via cheesy or whipped cream
originating as a flash in the pan
   aha eureka moment, or dream

as rough blue print subsequently
   underwent beta testing,
   before declaring pc innovation supreme
whereby outstanding persons in the tech industry
   clamored to join Kidde team.

Whether seventh day add vent
   hissed or other religious creed
powerful binary processing
   impacted near
   earth shaking incarnation indeed
and ramifications in all walks
   and talks of life sought expert need.

Coven chanting children murmured Luddites be ******!

Thus spake Zarathustra (cue the opening scene
from Planet of the Apes)
   upon witnessing as if king or queen
(in reality father or mother)
   didst get immediately

   dethroned thus, increasing mean
average positive
   effects on society, especially lean
microchip i.e. integrated circuitry

   miniaturization "green"
technology (and eventual
   attendant affordable price)
   viz said trappings

   unleashed upon global market
   invited absolute zero dust, a must clean
as a whistle work space,
   and manufacturers laboratory be microbe free
   hermetically sealed vacuumed "clean".

Countless portable machines
   unbeknownst soon epithet florid hack
   coining impromptu called cyber crime
especially as majority proportion of population
   didst purchase these dime,

a doze in countless "end users"
   snapped up these smart machines
   excitedly keyed away indifferent to gunk
on unwashed hands
   plus bits of food particles

   eventually caking hardware with grime
(eventually necessitating technician
   charging gobs of moolah
   sans to unstitch in time.

Gooey glop getting suctioned out
   technicians venting expletives
   emphasized obvious
   NO FOOD OR DRINK rule to abide
cuz suctioning tower

   or laptop presented vulnerability
   plus unforeseen downfall against fried
food and greasy hands ended up hide
ding in hardest to reach locale
   on circuit board no matter how expert pried

yelling out gratitude
   to geek squad member helping
   before he/she went out side door
eagerly awaiting

   remotely controlled self driving vehicle
   transporting techie guru home
   to an obscure gated destination,
   an uninterrupted distant, yet pleasant ride.

eventually amateurs encouraged
   to tinker like an apprenticed tailor
   akin as raw troubleshooting recruit
   oft playfully feigned to be soldier spy

pretending to repair bowel of computer
   when in truth visiting supposed shadowing dark side
   which lined illegal benefits of labor saving devices),
the sound of silence
(written on the subway walls)

though heretics opposing
   latest technology and felt sinister chill
(just ask Punxsutawney Phil),
the Internet ranks as greatest dog sent rill

lee where wiz kids ranked
   chatting killer apps with grateful dead
   information superhighway as heavenly manna
   with artificial intelligence street cred
since introduction of white bread
and powdered milk biscuits baked by Ahmed.
Of Real Or "FAKE" Memories

Earlier today...upon
     setting feet out a side door,
     a refreshingly cool rain
washed away present woes,
     and ushered auld lang syne,
     sans mine earlier childhood quatrain
such as the incy wincy spider sung
     (way out of tune) by

     my then young mum,
     yet clear as day she evinced
     unabashed loved simply and plain,
which cherished rarely
     jogged memory main,
lee lost in sigh burr space,
     perhaps arising some
     where (over the rainbow...)

     in toto within my midbrain
ah...methought, how perfectly spontaneous
     I spunkily danced down
     Drury (er rather Lantern) Lane

sudden recollection of real or
     feigned salad days of yore
blessedly carefree, innocently naive,
     which elapsed many a score
years ago poked thru consciousness
     so vividly, despite
     at nineteen and four

tee Earth's orbitz ago,
     hence summarily explore
thyself as an adorable boy around
'pon the onset of incipient curiosity
     (i.e. preschooler),
     aye did unexpectedly bound

forth like a midsize dog ecstatic
     to greet her/his master,
     the latter played and clowned
with four legged woman's/
     man's "best friend,"
     where non verbal
     communication did expound
volumes of unconditional mutually
     symphonic, sympathetic, and symbiotic
couched make believe buddies
     never abandoned me always around:
Dune not be bashful, grumpy, leery
or any other contemporary dwarf man
regarding countless less well known dwarves
(that never got a chance
to play a bit part) such as wham
bam
thank you ma'am
linkedin with emergence
of Internet and poetry slam
opportunities availed by Nast tee Uncle Sam,

which characters (albeit fiction),
nevertheless, helped spawn a quiet yet free
global, radically riotous,
totally tubular snow white transformation
affecting a societal and human specie
but also augmented, credited,
engineered, et cetera contributing
to paradigm seismic shift that garnered tree
mend us plentifully birthed schema,
impacted and transformed how wii

(more particularly many gifted minds)
bridged geographical distance
(encompassing all four corners
of the Earth) to enhance
what came to be called the world wide web,
courtesy Sir Tim Berners-Lee
hewing digital strong armed lance
information super high, "Cyber Revolution,"
etc allowing one to prance

and essentially transcend reality to brook
cyber sea ghosting, fostering, embezzling crook
commanding, commingling, communicating, hook
line and sinker, et cetera courtesy nerdy kook
with an excellent access and outlook
reaching the most distant cranny and nook.

This (bit a bing chitty chitty bang bang)
democratization of information,
manifestation toward
exponentially faster processing capacities
(latest technological trend heralds
Quantum computing – promising
to transform the world into
twenty first century space race)
more powerful than pen or sword
(based on principles of Moore’s Law), reward
witnessing atheists to thank good lord

electronically solidifying
binary unification swiftly tail lord
engendering greater dependence and reliance  
figuratively shrinking the drinking gourd
allowing far flung aliens, family,
friends, et cetera to ford
great distances via sophisticated electronics
courtesy of super smart motherboard
enabling ever more complex
futuristic electronic contrivances,
the generic **** Sapien gibbon could afford.

Analogous to Medieval Age
this quiet ***** riot creation
(ushering on thee global stage
equally as controversial when
la cage aux folles aired)
vis a vis Internet did un cage
actual overcoming physical barriers
ushered Hallmark gauge
marked by Computer/Digital Age odyssey),

especially sharing pixelated page
at light speed, where the ordinary individual
could keep in contact )
albeit with every now and again
a bit torrent rage
and in some instances tapping
smarts of a preschooler considered a sage,
which kindergarten lad/lass
commandeered a handsome wage

whereat the parental figure
did gently cajole, wheedle or beg
their wealthy progeny promising
son/ daughter of a healthy nest egg
framing almighty dollar
as theatrical masterpiece jpeg
storing money in Swiss
bank accounts or hollow leg
perhaps christened Meg
or if an avid weekly reader
of Moby ****'s Queequeg,

who felt incorporeal storied power
of Herman Melville as zen unseen aid
instructing hypothetical rich kid
to drop out of school
before his/her first grade
cuz of all the money he/she made,
which affected modus operandi rendered obsolete
child worker laws  
and no sweat of brow getting paid
people used bitcoin (protocol
which implements a highly available,
public, and decentralized ledger)
additionally making purchases
with scant keystrokes to complete a trade.

As with any major dramatically novel scheme  
light bulb idea scribbled on napkin
or other scrap of paper
via modeling brainstorm viz cutting up cheese
or spraying whipped cream
originating as a flash in the pan
aha eureka moment, or dream
as rough blueprint subsequently
underwent beta testing,
before declaring pc innovation supreme,
whereby outstanding persons
in the tech industry
clamored to join Kidde team.

Whether seventh day add vent
hissed or other religious creed
powerful binary processing
rooted and impacted particularly
after tooth house sand
years after common era (re: anno domini)
earth shaking incarnation indeed
and ramifications in all walks
and talks of life sought expert need.

Coven chanting children murmured Luddites be ******!

Thus spake Zarathustra
(cue the opening scene
from Planet of the Apes)
upon witnessing as if king or queen
(in reality father or mother)
didst get immediately
dethroned thus, increasing mean
average positive netzero
effects on society, especially lean
microchip i.e. integrated circuitry
miniaturization "green"
technology (and eventual
attendant affordable price),
viz said trappings
upon global market
invited absolute zero dust, a must clean
as a whistle work space,
and manufacturers laboratory be microbe free
hermetically sealed vacuumed "clean.”

Countless portable computers
unbeknownst soon invited
florid colorful expletives
upon heads that did wantonly hack
impromptu malfeasance called cyber crime,
especially as majority proportion of population
didst purchase these dime a dozen,
countless electronically sophisticated contrivances
every Tom, **** and Harry

snapped up these smart machines
excitedly keyed away
ofttimes indifferent to gunk
on unwashed hands
plus bits of food particles
eventually caking hardware with grime
subsequently necessitating technician
charging gobs of moolah
sans to unstitch in time.

Gooey glop getting suctioned out
vaunted vips venting vitriolic vocalizations
emphasized obvious
NO FOOD OR DRINK rule to abide
cuz suctioning tower computer
or laptop presented vulnerability
plus unforeseen downfall against fried
food and greasy hands ended up hide
ding hardest to reach locale
on circuit board no matter
how expert technician pried
“end user” yelling out gratitude
to geek squad member helping
before he/she went side
dulling out front door

eagerly awaiting
remotely controlled self driving vehicle
transporting self taught techie guru home
to an obscure gated destination,
an uninterrupted distant, yet pleasant ride
eventually amateurs encouraged
to tinker like an apprenticed tailor

akin as raw troubleshooting recruit
oft playfully feigned to be soldier spy
pretending to repair bowel of computer
when in truth visiting
supposed outer limits of functionality
legality, and radicality shadowing dark side
which lined illegal benefits
of labor saving devices.

The sound of silence
written on the subway walls
though heretics opposing
latest technology and felt sinister chill
(just ask Punxsutawney Phil),
the Internet ranks as greatest dog sent rill
lee where wiz kids ranked
chatting killer apps with grateful dead
information superhighway as heavenly manna
with artificial intelligence street cred
since introduction of white bread
and powdered milk biscuits
baked by Ahmed.
Ashlyn Rimsky Sep 2020
Life
is not glamorous
(all of the time).

Sometimes life just is
bags of empty potato chips on the couch,
crumbs in the folds of a stomach.

Sometimes life is a frown,
a heavy body, a dull aching
for something more.

Sometimes life scrolls by
like Mario chasing meaningless flags
or photos on my Instagram feed.

Most times life is a muddy blur
Of the same ****, different day.
Some days I want to run away.

I often sit in a room with myself and do not say hello.
I do not ask how I am doing.
Sometimes I close my eyes and pray I'll disappear,

But I am here.
I am here.
I am here.

Today is a new day.
I have a choice
to make it count.

Like a preschooler learning
one, two, three..
no one besides me can decide.

I can open my ears - I can hear myself.
I have a lot to say.
I can open my mouth -

Shout it out, like a prayer
to my inner goddess.
Today is a new ******* day.

It is mine. Rain or sunshine,
it does not matter.
Matter is what I make it.

It's the atoms and the Adams
that connect us. The Eves
and passing eves.

There are no sinners here, and no saints.
Why? Because I say so.
Today is good because I say so.

Good is what I make it.
Like Good's potato chips
In the folds of a stomach.

Its something to laugh about.
Wrong feelings do not exist.

Sometimes you just need to listen.
Wɜrdz spɛld kəˈrɛkt ˈvɜrsəs fəˈnɛtɪkˈspɛlɪŋ

alternately titled fun with phonics
ˈɔltərnətli ˈtaɪtəld fʌn wɪð ˈfɑnɪks
analogous when like first learning how to spell American English words

Əˈnæləgəs wɛn laɪk fɜrst ˈlɜrnɪŋ haʊ tu spɛl əˈmɛrəkən ˈɪŋglɪʃ wɜrdz

I thought to feign not knowing how to spell American English words

Aɪ θɔt tu feɪn nɑt ˈnoʊɪŋ haʊ tu spɛl əˈmɛrəkən ˈɪŋglɪʃ wɜrdz

and quickly realized the daunting task,

Ænd ˈkwɪkli ˈriəˌlaɪzd ðə ˈdɔntɪŋ tæsk,

thus sought magnanimity, gratuity, courtesy...
Google search (phonetic transcription of words) to assist me

Ðʌs sɔt magnanimity, grəˈtuɪti, ˈkɜrtəsi..
ˈgugəl sɜrʧ (fəˈnɛtɪk ˌtrænˈskrɪpʃən ʌv wɜrdz) tu əˈsɪst mi

Words spelled correct versus phonetic spelling
(the latter appended after poem concludes).

Thus now begins feeble attempt
to render rhyme for no reason
appended with phonetic translation
mainly as playful tease zen
synonymous imagining teaching
said exercise to eager children

reminding readers that young
and restless with spotty attention
hear spoken word while in utero,
post natal, subsequently when
he/she parrots parent(s) and/or

guardian, a more deliberate yen
arises to acquire greater cognition,
intuition, question (quest ja hen)
quickly devolving into faux ken
barbed riotous laughter analogous
trying wits of patient comedian/

comedienne resorting quite often
to repetition, remonstration,
reiteration... which frustration
might necessitate taking ten,
or so minutes of intermission
mindful mentor praises pen

ultimate verbal adroit ability
earning healthy treat for recitation,
perhaps recipient exceptionally
eager to advance passing golden
milestone able, ready, and will ***
to tackle writing correct spelling,

whence learning to hold pen(cil)
(without being vain) begin men
till process, which next step den
allows, enables and provides sen
sit heave hands on guidance

helping preschooler - all liven
and well with enthusiasm clutch
writing implement fingers open
before gently grasping above ren
during kudos with an amen.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

wɜrdz spɛld kəˈrɛkt ˈvɜrsəs fəˈnɛtɪk ˈspɛlɪŋ

Ðʌs naʊ bɪˈgɪnz ˈfibəl əˈtɛmpt
tu ˈrɛndər raɪm fɔr noʊ ˈrizən
əˈpɛndɪd wɪð fəˈnɛtɪk trænˈzleɪʃən
ˈmeɪnli æz ˈpleɪfəl tiz zɛn
səˈnɑnəməs ɪˈmæʤənɪŋ ˈtiʧɪŋ
sɛd ˈɛksərˌsaɪz tu ˈigər ˈʧɪldrən

riˈmaɪndɪŋ ˈridərz ðæt jʌŋ
ænd ˈrɛstləs wɪð ˈspɑti əˈtɛnʃən
hir ˈspoʊkən wɜrd waɪl ɪn ˈjutəroʊ,

poʊst ˈneɪtəl, ˈsʌbsəkwəntli wɛn
hi/ʃi ˈpɛrəts ˈpɛrənt(ɛs) ænd/ɔr
ˈgɑrdiən, ə mɔr dɪˈlɪb(ə)rət jɛn
əˈraɪzəz tu əˈkwaɪər ˈgreɪtər kɑgˈnɪʃən,
ˌɪntuˈɪʃən, ˈkwɛsʧən (kwɛst jɑ hɛn)

ˈkwɪkli dɪˈvɑlvɪŋ ˈɪntu fɔks kɛn
bɑrbd ˈraɪətəs ˈlæftər əˈnæləgəs
ˈtraɪɪŋ wɪts ʌv ˈpeɪʃənt kəˈmidiən/
kəˌmidiˈɛn rɪˈzɔrtɪŋ kwaɪt ˈɔfən
tu ˌrɛpəˈtɪʃən, remonstration,
riˌɪtəˈreɪʃən... wɪʧ frəˈstreɪʃən

maɪt nəˈsɛsəˌteɪt ˈteɪkɪŋ tɛn,
ɔr soʊ ˈmɪnəts ʌv ˌɪntərˈmɪʃən
ˈmaɪndfəl ˈmɛnˌtɔr ˈpreɪzəz pɛn
ˈʌltəmət ˈvɜrbəl əˈdrɔɪt əˈbɪləti
ˈɜrnɪŋ ˈhɛlθi trit fɔr ˌrɛsəˈteɪʃən,
pərˈhæps rəˈsɪpiənt ɪkˈsɛpʃənəli

ˈigər tu ədˈvæns ˈpæsɪŋ ˈgoʊldən
ˈmaɪlˌstoʊn ˈeɪbəl, ˈrɛdi, ænd wɪl lɛn
tu ˈtækəl ˈraɪtɪŋ kəˈrɛkt ˈspɛlɪŋ,
wɛns ˈlɜrnɪŋ tu hoʊld pɛn(cil)
(wɪˈθaʊt ˈbiɪŋ veɪn) bɪˈgɪn mɛn
tɪl ˈprɑˌsɛs, wɪʧ nɛkst stɛp dɛn
əˈlaʊz, ɛˈneɪbəlz ænd prəˈvaɪdz sɛn

sɪt *** hændz ɑn ˈgaɪdəns
ˈhɛlpɪŋ ˈpriˌskulər - ɔl ˈlaɪvən
ænd wɛl wɪð ɪnˈθuziˌæzəm klʌʧ
ˈraɪtɪŋ ˈɪmpləmənt ˈfɪŋgərz ˈoʊpən
bɪˈfɔr ˈʤɛntli ˈgræspɪŋ əˈbʌv rɛn
ˈdʊrɪŋ ˈkudoʊs wɪð ən eɪˈmɛn.
Dune not be bashful, grumpy, leery
or any other contemporary dwarf man
even countless less well known dwarves
(that never got a chance
to play a bit part) such as wham
bam
thank you ma'am
linkedin with emergence
of Internet and poetry slam
opportunities availed by Uncle Sam

which characters (albeit fiction)
nonetheless, helped spawn a quiet yet free
global, radically riotous,
totally tubular transformation
affecting a societal and human specie
but not credited contributing
to paradigm seismic shift that garnered tree
mend us plenti fully birthed,
impacted and transformed how wii

(more particularly many gifted minds)
bridged geographical distance
(encompassing all four corners
of the Earth) to enhance
what came to be called the world wide web,
digital strong armed lance
information super high, "Cyber Revolution",
etc allowing one to prance

and essentially transcend reality to brook
commanding, commingling, communicating, hook
line and sinker, et cetera
with an excellent access and outlook
reaching the most distant cranny and nook.

This (bit a bing chitty bang)
manifestation toward
exponentially faster processing capacities
more powerful than pen or sword
(based on principles of Moore’s Law), reward
electronically solidifying
binary unification swiftly tail lord

engenders greater dependence and reliance
figuratively shrinking the drinking gourd
allowing far flung aliens, family,
friends, et cetera to ford
great distances via sophisticated electronics
courtesy of super smart motherboard
enabling ever more complex
electronic contrivances
the generic **** Sapien gibbon could afford.

Analogous to Medieval Age
this quiet ***** riot creation
vis a vis Internet did un cage
actual overcoming physical barriers
ushered Hallmark gauge
marked by Computer/Digital Age odyssey),
especially sharing pixelated page
at light speed, where the ordinary individual
could keep in contact )
albeit with every now and again
a bit torrent rage
and in some instances tapping
smarts of a preschooler considered a sage
which kindergarten lad/lass
commandeered a handsome wage.

Whereat the parental figure did cajole,
wheedle or beg
their wealthy progeny promising
son/ daughter of a healthy nest egg
stored money in Swiss bank accounts or hollow leg
perhaps christened jpeg
or if an avid weekly reader
of Moby **** Queequeg

who felt incorporeal storied power
of Herman Melville as zen unseen aid
instructing hypothetical rich kid
to dropout of school
before his/her first grade
coz of all the money he/she made,

which affected modus operandi rendered obsolete
child worker laws
and no sweat of brow getting paid
people used bitcoin
(or other online currency)
additionally making purchases
with scant keystrokes to complete a trade.

As with any major dramatically novel scheme
light bulb idea scribbled on napkin
scrap of paper
via cheesy or whipped cream
originating as a flash in the pan
aha eureka moment, or dream

as rough blueprint subsequently
underwent beta testing,
before declaring pc innovation supreme
whereby outstanding persons in the tech industry
clamored to join Kidde team.

Whether seventh day advent
hissed or other religious creed
powerful binary processing
impacted near
earth shaking incarnation indeed
and ramifications in all walks
and talks of life sought expert need.

Coven chanting children murmured
Luddites be ******!

Thus spake Zarathustra (cue the opening scene
from Planet of the Apes)
upon witnessing as if king or queen
(in reality father or mother)
didst get immediately

dethroned thus, increasing mean
average positive
effects on society, especially lean
microchip i.e. integrated circuitry
miniaturization "green"
technology (and eventual
attendant affordable price)
viz said trappings

unleashed upon global market
invited absolute zero dust, a must clean
as a whistle work space,
and manufacturers laboratory be microbe free
hermetically sealed vacuumed "clean".

Countless portable machines
unbeknownst soon epithet florid hack
coining impromptu called cyber crime
especially as majority proportion of population
didst purchase these dime,

a doze in countless "end users"
snapped up these smart machines
excitedly keyed away indifferent to gunk
on unwashed hands
plus bits of food particles
eventually caking hardware with grime
(eventually necessitating technician
charging gobs of moolah
sans to unstitch in time.

Gooey glop getting suctioned out
technicians venting expletives
emphasized obvious
NO FOOD OR DRINK rule to abide
cuz suctioning tower
or laptop presented vulnerability
plus unforeseen downfall against fried
food and greasy hands ended up hide
ding in hardest to reach locale
on circuit board no matter how expert pried

yelling out gratitude
to geek squad member helping
before he/she went out side door
eagerly awaiting

remotely controlled self driving vehicle
transporting techie guru home
to an obscure gated destination,
an uninterrupted distant, yet pleasant ride.

eventually amateurs encouraged
to tinker like an apprenticed tailor
akin as raw troubleshooting recruit
oft playfully feigned to be soldier spy

pretending to repair bowel of computer
when in truth visiting supposed shadowing dark side
which lined illegal benefits of labor saving devices),
the sound of silence
(written on the subway walls)

though heretics opposing
latest technology and felt sinister chill
(just ask Punxsutawney Phil),
the Internet ranks as greatest dog sent rill

lee where wiz kids ranked
chatting killer apps with grateful dead
information superhighway as heavenly manna
with artificial intelligence street cred
since introduction of white bread
and powdered milk biscuits baked by Ahmed.
Anomalous earthling inhabited
mancave quarantined
cocooned gamesomely
knowingly protected travesty
impossible mission sidestepping,
thwarting, zapping
eventuality, inevitability,

opportunity utilitarian death
crowning glory fêted within
netherlands immortality
granted courtesy biological
proliferation offspring re
vitalizing, restoring,
requenching spent human lives.

Self sequestration commenced
instant (karma) fertilization set
narration mein kampf within
womb mommy dearest,
she within prime ovulation age
begat me in utero un-
aware how existential crisis
(mine) linkedin metaphor

whereat sanctity housing
yours truly during embryonic
/fetal development + vital
placental lifeline keyed into
present day self (christened
Matthew Scott Harris) still
analogously tethers (as
iterated above) outward adult.

He considers metamorphosis
child to adult incomplete
early during carefree preschool
boyhood heavenly bliss
short lived spunky spontaneity
squelched after first grade
February 28th, 1968 marked
turning point pronouncing
significant psychological

cleavage figuratively pitched
emotional, mental, and
spiritual withdrawal symptomatic
psyche quashed, torqued,
and wrenched full blown cycle
logical gearshift hijacked,
though undoubtedly propensity
inherent since... birth
genetic/chromosomal aberration.

Especially when fatherhood
food me gifted with beauty
full daughter diagnosed at
tender age developmental delay
within asperger's syndrome
thankfully Shana Punim, (a
person's face endearment
appellation - chiefly in Jewish
use) eligible recipient

to receive early onset supportive
services, which initial diagnosis
undertaken within her
first birthday, thus staunching
immense struggles later.
Supportive services incorporated
battery audiological, cognitive,
emotive... tests to help pinpoint diagnosis.
She underwent cost free

(needs based) therapy - most
times resistant and noncooperative
(nonresponsive) to
engage whole heartedly,
but bonding with facilitators
wrought budding relationship
with concomitant trust.
Participation with therapists
and class/campmates (the

latter structured summer programs
pertinent as she evinced
able bodied/minded
to benefit with stepped up
socialization (interpersonal
interaction - or lack thereof)
immediately apparent as preschooler,
but got bolstered
thru confidence building activities.

All thru k-12th grade
our cherished progeny
benefitted being streamlined with
classwork (and take home)
assignments custom tailored,
plus after school
remedial programs boosted flagging
shortcomings allowing,
enabling, and providing laudable

transformations, whereby
she began (to assert herself in
making major decisions),
now at age twenty one (born
February 4th, 1999) lives
with few housemates in Bend,
Oregon while matriculating
at nearby Community College.
At Norm's Save Station
551 Gravel Pike, Collegeville, Pennsylvania,
yours truly suddenly realized
fifty eight years earlier
(a preschooler living at Lantern Lane)
John Fitzgerald Kennedy assassinated
November 22, 1963,
12:30 post meridiem
Central Standard Time
as he rode motorcade,

through Dealey Plaza
in downtown Dallas, Texas.
The myth of Camelot
(a place and time
of idyllic happiness)
actually assigned
Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy (1929–1994)
shattered instantaneously
by Lee Harvey Oswald.

While thoughts caught up
with aforementioned tragedy,
Norm a congenial older man,
and proprietor of mechanic
gently interrupted somber reflection
informing me, an exhaust leak
(costing north of four hundred dollars -
that said dollar figure
merely covers price of part)
warranted immediate attention.

Though no connection
between series of unfortunate events
occurring not quite three score years ago
and earlier today
(even Lemony Snicket
would find himself baffled)
finagling two disparate phenomena,

whereby one hotmail
sought to jumpstart and kickstart
his quest for reelection in November 1964,
and one generic kook (me)
linkedin to Machiavellian repercussions
affected then young
shell shocked parents of mine

indeed helpless to explain senseless
killing, whence second youngest president
wantonly, violently, and tragically slain
leader of the free webbed world
even now defies believing
peace on earth and goodwill toward
all men/women can be realized

meanwhile most recent incarnation
of King Arthur experiences brisk business
evidenced courtesy since trigger
pulled by assailant
gunned down by Jack Ruby
(ironically sentenced to death),
which linkedin loosed bullets
birthed conspiracy theories galore.

Relentless desecration
of life, liberty and pursuit of happiness
barely restrained by laws
dime a dozen murderous sprees
now rarely witness capital punishment
and offtimes find villain acquitted
even garnering accolades
after exhibiting crocodile tears
(think case in point:
Kyle Rittenhouse travesty of trial),
who killed two people
identified as 36-year-old

Joseph Rosenbaum, of Kenosha,
and 26-year-old Anthony Huber,
of Silver Lake, Wisconsin
Armed with with an AR-15-style rifle
purportedly and most likely intended
to empty unspecified number of rounds
lest why would a supposed
young law abiding citizen,
(and a minor at live crime time)
equip himself with full cartridge
if not to mow down innocent people?
Anton Angelino Mar 2022
Man
who am I to blame for living in the 21st century amidst wildfires and strikes and racism and homophobia and misogyny all thriving restlessly in broad daylight.
This is not a world I'd choose to live in
but I do and so what???

I'm 1 in 125
I'm a birch in an oak forest
Long story short - life ****** me over, but I'm alive

I come from nowhere
I'm native nowhere
which means wherever I go, I can't really say I'm home there
but I've wandered in my thoughts since I was little
And little did I know I was brought up to stir fiery coal in hell, that was a country of hypocrisy and those who lead it
I pray would burn in hell
but I come from nowhere
and I won't be joining them.

I purge myself out of poison every day
I know people talk **** about me behind my back - guess it's time I started backfiring **** at them.

One - **** my fake "friends"!
******* for smiling at me for show in group photos and secretly wishing I wasn't there.
I hope you know I washed my hands with tons of soap after every unwanted handshake
I reckon you knew I bled trying to satisfy you
paid all your debts, cleaned all your mess, made the world a better place just to get a silent thank you, hidden *******, we exploited you now scram!
Oh, how many "friendships" met their end because of that.
Because I unmasked posers who only cared about themselves.
But I stayed unbent
always true to myself
Counted down the days till I could sever the chain of gullible, future drug-taking hillbillies with rocks instead of brains.
I went to high school fervently hoping I'd find my place
I left high school in a blizzard of bitterness and deliverance.
I could count all the ingenuous smiles I wore, conversations I attempted to weave tired of standing there all alone.
But I won't squander my time on anything like that
That, I don't forgive and I don't forget.

Two - **** the government!
Won't drop names, not cause it's confidential, but cause I don't wanna flaw this page.
When the rightful president candidate lost by a few percent (by trashing his votes cause how in the hell?) a fragile beam of hope within me withered in its tragic end.
My dream of just future dried out anticipating rain, but all that dropped that fateful day were tears of regret.
I have no nationality
When someone asks me where I'm from I change the subject, cause it's better than the medieval ******* of a country I'm from, where even gaslight is subpar and I feel second hand embarrassment for those who dictate on.
I try and diminish that part about me.
That's pretty much how I've been dealing with inhuman laws and censorships arising. The hate of politics, it helped me carry on. Every time I almost jumped into conclusions about me
That maybe I misfit in this wicked world
I envisioned when they fall I'll be the first to clap for their monstrous loss.

**** the Church! I do believe in God and blissful afterlife for me
but I also believe that if they say a homosexual is an abominable disgrace to society
then I can reiterate aloud what others say about priests.
Get outta my hair, just like I got outta your lot and remember that you can kiss whoever you want.
**** the school system for making me learn things that flew straight in and out my head, like history of this country and if I could, I’d rather be born somewhere else.
**** the music industry since all it takes to win a Grammy is a preschooler-level written boring song about *** and a **** swinging between your legs.
**** fake equality and setting up people against each other. I'm a feminist and crave equality for us all yet when women call all men ****, where's equality after all???
**** courtesies like rushing to open doors, paying for someone cause it'd be rude not to or carrying their bags home from school. I treat everyone equally, no goddess or god, the way I'd like to be treated if I were another soul.
**** "family friends" who only babble about my ****** life, whorehouses and ******* every ******* time, like I'd rather sleep at the table than listen to your crap.
I envy my future self after having seen the faces of yours after I tell you what I think about you.
I tried to sweep you all aside and withhold my hatred inside
I've been trying frankly
In the world I crave there's my face carved into Mount Rushmore
Like Benjamin Franklin
I only want a good life for me and those I love
For now thought I scream:
FUUUUUUUUUCK!
I feel light as a feather hovering in a tranquil dream.
My resentment keeps me going
This poem is how I deal.
Poem #3 off "Rainbow Arches Supporting The Wonderland"

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