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Styles Aug 2019
His gentle touch
caressing her face
licking his lips
anticipating her taste

Her eyes staring
at his mouth
awaiting the embrace
anxious with haste

Their lips touch
heart beats race
pulling her closer
tongues together pacing
bodies grinding
waist to waist
no time wasting
climb maxing
to the destiny
that awaits
them
Mateuš Conrad May 2020
an entire day of abstaining from "syringe",
whoever said it was:
the perfect dis-satisfaction -
supposedly it passes as quick as someone
puffing on crack...
                well...
                      the first cigarette...
when "quitting"... after years of 20 a day...
and this quitting: because no cheap
ciagarettes on the horizon from moldova...
or bulgaria...

    the first hit... feels like electricity...
i can feel it from my head...
right down to my toes...
          in my heels...
the tingling at first... then it all subsides...
into a sensation of a thrown stone
into the stomach:
like a nun jumping a bungee...
i feel like a teenager... who first sipped
alcohol...
the carousel of intoxication -
yet: so contained...
        there's the thrill and an
insurmountable number of adjectives
to the sensation:
face like a sponge head like blitzkrieg
theatre...
         i'm "quitting"...
well... 10 years exposed to the numbing...
perfect the ritual:
i guess i must...
    how long will it last... long enough:
to base the drinking on what becomes
the cigarette: on the peripheries:
and closure...

must i take any more revelation drugs...
apart from what's taxed and legal...
a solipsistic cigarette and some
gomme syrope: putting ms. amber
into the refrigerator...
              
i can feel the horde the tsunami from
a fat head through
a whirlwind dropped into my stomach...
and then the magic toes: tingling...
of course: i'm "quitting"...
quitting as much as...
mellow lou reed contra iggy pop
when bowie was with him in berlin...

"quitting"... the initial hit is over...
the first impressions...
the formality is thrilling...
then comes the diffusion:
the informality of fractions and percentages...
from the brain... the nerves...
perhaps the heart...
and the last place to look into:
the liver...

         and other... soft-tissue glue parts...
and the ritual:
a packet of benson & hedges...
wrapped up with about 10 rubber bands...
it has been waiting for me
for the entire day...
and now that the night is here...
a day when an apple tree was planted
along with a cherry tree...

the garden is looking more and more
presentable for sale...
but before the sale: it must be enjoyed...
i never thought that...
a cigarette: after... this short prospect
of abstinance...
is almost like the first...
but when coupled with the whiskey...
hell... i can't remember the last
time i drank and it felt like...
i was a teenager: under-age drinking
in one of those ****** clubs that
high-school girls go to find boys
with cars... out of school without
a-levels...
and boys go... to find... ms. ambers...
and jazzy gits of mr. fuzzy mr. funny...
the bavarian brothers: the weisers...

please! please! more...
these days of "quitting"...
             because what could be fun
about an absolute cold-turkey...
when you have a stash of...
  600 cigarettes... and... if the math is
about right...
and since the free movement of
people is a rapunzel dream off-the-cuff...

600 cigarettes... if i get it right...
move from 2 per ritual of going to bed...
into 1... that's... either a year
with missing 56 days somewhere...
no rolling tobacco though...
look m'ah! no bongs no syringes!
look p'ah! no snorting bleeding nose...
no... plum bruises from...

as long as there's an inhibition period...
a period of: i wish i could send
a postcard from... Basildon, Essex...
to... someone obliterated by a craze-maze
of lights... like... whatever...

i just heard stories...
                  about the effects of other drugs...
but... it's not like they come back...
with straitjackets to rekindle old flames
of "crossing the threshold" within
the confines of tobacco and alcohol...
moderately: well: not to quote the ideal
units consumed...
     i'm pretty sure i read some pickwick papers
today and... dickens "forgot" some...
conjunction words...
unless of course: his style...
                    -open            
                          to question-
                        esp. adjectives that...
or is it... nouns that act like this that and the other:
as if verbs...
            
    roughly half an hour... the full extent of
a cigarette...
the very first is probably the same
as the "very first" when you're "quitting"...
from circa 20 per day...
to 2-a-day...
                      "quitting" and first getting
hooked...
           the whiskers and fire fathers
                                   of the apache
              are a balancing act that follows...
oh sure... i'll quit smoking...
when the ritual is over...
i have left the casual smoker behind...
somewhere... over coffee...
over the tradition of that cigarette after
a meal: the digestifs smoke-up...
i left these smokers behind...
the nervous smokers...
the waiting at a bus-stop smokers...
the after *** smokers...

          the day is coming to an end...
i'm going to enjoy some music...
drink a little... i'll start calling this smoking
cigarette pattern... what? what else?!
my tobacco ramadam!
chances are... i'll still be unable
to appreciate roxy music...
   and the english dandy...
                       the music is here...
the little bit of *****... and the "pipe"!
here comes my face...
here comes the zoo...
            
             but i'm quitting... "quitting"...
the wolf of wall st. -
                      drug addict... that all depends
on how you treat tobacco...
the cigarette... abstaining for a day...
after a "hiatus" from healthy breathing...
viruses and car zinc and lead exhausts...
cow farts...
                  
    a terrible way to treat tobacco...
i find... is the casual... informal way...
a bit like... internet access...
whoever grew up with it being stationary...
like... a telephone... or a phonebox...
it was never carried:
always a returned to:
like a swizz safety-deposit box
in a bank... that could...
bypass tax regulations and subpoenas...

the good old days...
saturdays the park... the high street...
the car park... climbing to the top
and spitting phlegm bombs at people...
peter ******* richardson...
and kieran o'mahoney...
samuel richards...
         a ****** among the irish...
in england...
then again: richardson...
eh...
                                   ascot?
      i.e. a shcoot?!
                    the break between my first
ritual cigarette...
         and my closing affair for the night...
whether i drink less or not...
in the middle of the night
i wake up on the floor...
         i sleep on the floor for about
an hour... two demons want to ****
in my bed... then i'm thrown back into
the bed of cushions and mattress...
  only yesterday i killed someone in my dream...
and i was... like the zodiac killer...
anonymous...
i heard hook & sinker teases of:
the crime scene read like a crime thriller...
to appease the ego...

two days running thrown out of bed...
this is a terribly composed...
it is... "quarantine" poetics...
i'm "quitting" smoking...
                   i'm making tobacco...
i'm giving tobacco ritual rites...
                   no lazy tobacco smoking...
end of the day... ms. amber in hand...
maxing out on 2!
the next two? the next day...
              the same packet of cigarettes...
2 inside with a lighter...
wrapped up using about 10 rubber bands...
a like-for-like replica of
pin-heads "tattoo geography"...

       yes... because... someone's nearing
the snorting olympics?!
           if all you were given...
was tobacco and alcohol...
             the first one... oh! mein! gott!
it feels like being a teenager... once more...
and experiencing the alcohol carousel
for the very first time...
tobacco? that came later...
after the alcohol... after the ****...
the **** came in age 21...
the tobacco came in... age 21.09...
whatever that implies...

                      it's nice... though...
absitance... you wait for the entire day...
by the of it... some variant of... tourette's kicks
in... it's all very nice asking for
cupcakes and bagels...
scones and daffodils:
or... suicide by: lily-of-the-valley...
i.e. room filled with them...
and no ventilation...
talk about... no hanging... projects...
of Seneca cutting wrists in a bath...
just... getting drunk...
and being allowed to fall asleep
in a vacuous room filled with
lily-of-the-valley bouquets...

             we can talk about suicide... no?
when... it's... beautiful? no? ha!
how was the hemlock... prescribed?
as a drink?
             i... it's almost irritating that...
i will not write anything more sensible
after i take the 2 cigarette to the grave of sleep...
no matter...
i wasn't hoping to invest in much:
today gave me enough.
Eryck Jun 2018
When she says she hears voices rattling and battling in the deepest recesses of her mind, then it's time to beware, take care, and make choices saddling you and leave her behind.

     Shes a case study of its kind. That even Freud would throw up his hands, make a grand stand in his frustrations and demand a vacation to unwind.

She's all that and more.

She'll wrap a man around her fingers  make him putty in her hands,
leave him babbling in his mirror
trying so much to understand.
He should feel something, but just can't comprehend,
left a mute, numb, mumbling...
carcass, of a man.

She's like an itch that becomes a
scratch that's becomes a pestering,
festering ****, till you look down
horror bound as the ****** swollen
thing has taken on a life of its own...

then it starts maxing out your cards,
throwing your clothes out on the yard,
yelling hard. Snooping on your phone. Won't go home. Won't leave you alone.
Is it a wound or a woman or a woman or a wound or both  simultaneously, concurrently?  Yes and no.
Oh the trials and tribulations I've known!


You can really pick em.
Daddy used to say, in his haphazard way, and really lay it on me in the harshest of phrases,  meant to dazzle and daze me, rile and faze me, knock me a kilter off my normal day.


Son, you stimulate and exhilarate  the
spirit of an untamed, pained, wild
child woman and it'll be the same, and here this,
as an insane drain on the brain most personally and certainly and most notably and you can quote me.  It'll leave you feeling like the beach storming at Normandy.
Yes, this is about the same girl I wrote about in my last poem called "the end ..of a girlfriend" (give it a read for more tidbits of wacky insights). There's nothing like a heated breakup to stimulate the poetic juices.
Enlighten Me-
I’m always underestimating self-master bating-
Graduated-
At the top of fund frustration-
My motivation needs money relations-
The contemplation of money making has my mind at a constant hating-
My breaking patience-
Has my mind like a **** relating-
Regulations of all my banking-
See my bank account disintegrating-
I’m suffocating-making payments-Late fee statements-
Debit-Credit-Cash-oking
Debit-Credit-Cash-oking
Racki­ng bills my back is breaking-my nerves are shaking-
Shaking more than I anticipated-
Now I’m here with a life to fear-
Writing till my mind is clear-
Writing till I feel what’s real-
Writing till I seal a deal-
Multiplying-
Adding-Subtracting-and dividing-
Signing more checks than providing-
It’s suicide I’m not denying-Rhyming trying its crucifying-
Clocking in before the sun is rising Grinding flying hoping griming-living life nine to fiving-
Its re-revising-Re-defining-Rectifying-
More so that I think I’m hiding-
Killing with finical violence-Violating my banks alliance-
Maxing plastic so fantastic now I need some re-advising-interest rates have a grown man crying-Million dollars seem so un-winding-
Now I’m whining-
Constant buying-
Gas rates got me into biking-riding-fighting-
Just surviving-any discount seems so delighting-winning lotto seems o-so-righteous-buy one get one is so exciting-
Boot leg buying I ain’t lying-
Being broke is constant rewinding-It’s reminding-so relying-over drawing is my new binding-it’s confining-so I’m finding-Making takings of my disliking-Making takings that are so dang freighting-dollar scratchers are so inviting-
But this realization is so enlightening-
Moving as fast as a bolt of lighting-
I’m asking you G-d to help me like this-
I’m feeling the pain and I think I might just-
ROB ME A BANK-
BY:
RICHARD ITSKOVICH
shakela storr Jul 2011
Who is she

Why O why do you call her name every night when you are asleep, ''Who is she''?
why do you love her so much that you cannot eat, ''Who is she''?
Why does she get to travel with you all around the world, but its me you show off to your family and friends because you said that im your pearl!
No one has ever seen this lady, why do you keep her a secret, Who is she''?
she’s maxing out your credit cards with expensive gifts, yes! I’ve seen the bills at the end of the month.
Your taking her shopping at Proda, Gucci ,Juicy Couture and jimmy chue stores, ''Who is she''
You aint never took me to those places I respect this Trick cause she’s getting money and gifts that I don’t even get.
Baby im dying inside who is she?  
Why do you love her more?
Is she better in bed?
Where is she from?
Is she beautiful?
People I love this man with all my heart, he completes me,
he is the ying to my yang,
the apple of my eye,
He was my African King but when that ***** came along all I ever hear when he falls asleep is...

Diamond!
Diamond!
Diamond!
Who  the hell is diamond?  '' Who is she''?
 You call her diamond and call me pearl.
Diamonds are a girls best friend, I wonder why I couldn’t I get a name like that, I know why cause im second best.
I came home early from work one Tuesday afternoon feeling sick and tired of that stressful place call a j.o.b ,
When I opened the door and entered the living room I smelt sweet, sweet perfume I followed the scent and it led to the bedroom
but the door was closed, The sounds of Luther Vandros played in the back ground
( Music Plays  If only for one night)…….
I said to myself I caught this *****,
Mad as hell im walking up and down in the living room,
wondering if I should bust in on him. 
 The good part of me said I couldn’t take seeing with another woman don’t open that door
and the bad part of me said do it girl do it
Do it girl do it!
Then I heard him say to her what’s my name!
Whats my name! and she screamed to the tip of her voice Jesus! Jesus!
I fell to my knees burning up inside,
heartbroken,
tears flowing, saying why does it hurt so bad.
Then I got up off my knees and opened the door,
before I could look up I looked down rose petals everywhere.
Then I saw my African King doing his thing and I said O ****! O **** (Pause).
And that is when I realized that the proda wearing,
Gucci faring
sweet o sweet smelling lady was a …Proda wearing,
Gucci faring,
sweet, sweet, smelling  ….. Man!
Written by- Shakela Donnet Storr
Jeremy Duff Aug 2012
Jusst going to float
down the stream
nicknamed The Best Years of My Life.

Just going to lay on my back
and soak up some sun
and try not to worry to much.

Just going to twiddle my thumbs
and have some fun
chilling out, relaxing, maxing all cool...

Just going to free my mind
and not think about you,
or life and all the grief it holds.

Just going to float down the stream that my brightly colored Strings are gently caressed in.
And relax.
" The law of the jungle is the law of a gang. An eye for an eye. A tooth for a tooth. "


The page unfolds.  The best story told. Basically I'm handing out free gold.
Returning ears with interest. You can never borrow to your advantage peasants. Why pay for something to prove you are not a slave? Plato's cave. As I leave they stay. Why do they want me to lead and pave the way? They say it's great !  and you will get paid. I said you gay. I will never hand my **** out to those in need and to those who pray. That's how you get slayed. I will only help those who are me. Who take action by maxing out their mental capacity. And If they do. They're no longer food. They seem so rude and selfish towards being free. It so beautiful to me. A construct painted by true belief.  Just read.
TO BE FREE IS TO BE SELFISH AND IT'S BEAUTIFUL.  BY SELFISH I MEAN BETTERING YOUR SELF IS PRIORITY.
Lynne Nov 2014
Your lies in your eyes as you sit and realize. What a mistake was made when you threw it all away. Don’t you feel upset when you think of that day, when you brought yourself to one knee 2 months after May. Wasn’t it sickening when you said those words that ended it all in a rushed fashion. Turning your cheek and completely leaving, empty handed. Running from what you were afraid of, and leaving me abandoned. How could you just cut me off, and never speak to me again? Like I’m a ghost in your past. A ghost in your closet, grey and black. How could you do this simple deed and leave me on the side of the road to bleed. As if I meant nothing to you in your life, you were willing to toss it away. Trash, never treasure, that’s what I hear you say. I loved you to the very end, no matter what I constantly would bend. Maxing out my credit and taking out a loan so that you would never have to be alone. Not only that but I pushed all aside, in school and family and in friends, so that I could abide. With you, I would feel you were my soulmate and now knowing you could easily sever my tether, I wonder if my worth was ever so great. I based my reality on this dream of us, being together and never having to fuss. And yet, we talked about how we never fought and when we finally did we saw what it brought; Pain and suffering to a relationship too perfect it seemed, how could we have been so stupid to think it would always gleam. In the light, we saw some true colors of each other, but I think those bad things are not enough to make us hate one another. Could you please just look once more at our photos together and see those smiles and know it was worth while. That we were not meant for a separation such as this, and this emptiness we feel is nothing like our kiss. All I can recall from our moments together is all the beautiful times and the beautiful weather. Positives outweigh negatives that’s what I’ve always said. I even told you with that other guy that’s how I felt, and now I’m telling you here. Out of our two years together, this was only the second major fire and I really cannot fathom why the building came crashing down so quickly. We have our faults and I definitely know I have mine. But I can’t help but think that there is some sort of line. Did I cross it? Yes indeed, but I couldn’t help it when I felt threatened and helpless. Misunderstanding your words and feeling attacked…when in reality you were just fighting back. A never ending circle that could have been stopped if we had both just calmed down and talked for a spot. Like cool headed adults that we really are and not impassioned children that we became. I really feel like we could have retained all of this anger and sadness. I really do. I really feel we could repair it if we just started with a bit of glue. Glue of compassion and glue of understanding. Glue of love and comprehending. Darling, you made my world worth while. You made it all ok. And that was the happiest moment those two months after May. To see it all shatter, right before my eyes. I can’t even believe it, I feel as if my soul has died. So please, I urge you to look once more. Make a list if you must, but look again into the dust. See our relationship as a whole painting and no just the smattering of ink upon a dim page. Look at the positives. Look at the beauty. For I see it and I know that we are more than our mistakes. More than our flaws. I know that I am more than what you saw. Forgiveness is a key part of any relationship, friend or lover. So please, do you have it in your heart to take the blemish and cover? It would be the best day of my life in these past weeks, if I could just call you up and not have to weep. What joy I would be brought to have that person back, who I met between the romantic buildings of Europe. What joy I would be brought to have the person back, who kept me upright in the snow. What joy I would be brought to have that person back, who kissed my tear stained cheeks and held me so close.
Look back, darling. Look back into the past. Look at the picture as a whole. Don’t you wish the same things? Don’t you want to restart? Refresh? Renew?
I know that I do.
brokenperfection Aug 2014
have you picked your poison?
look at us
look at all of us
pathetic
bags under our eyes,
lifeless and gaunt,
maxing out at three hours of sleep per night
what keeps you awake?
demons?
yes
skeletons?
yes
depression? war? weather? abuse? addiction? epidemics? heartache? heartbreak? stress? worry? scars? acceptance? lack of money? ******? despair? pending approval? family? illness? the future? disaster? pain? friends? tragedy? guilt? hatred? work? secrets? anger? anxiety? sadness? curiosity?

somewhere along the way
we forgot how to be happy
I mean, /h a p p y/
we forgot that we are only going to inhabit this place
one time, for any given (or taken) amount of minutes
and to remedy this
we pick a poison
so, tell me
what's yours?
DC raw love Jul 2017
As the pain of the knife i felt stabbing me in the back
The black whole and black universal abyss pirate treasure map cracked
Open seasame on seasomy street elmo and big bird snack
The plate and tunnel vision tube with birning pictures attack...
The records of archives and tape recorder ******
Maxing out credit cards until andromada Pandora bOX crack
Thankfully the painting on the picture in the kitchen MATCh MAX
Max a million in mortal and immortals WW{3} combat
The water is broken and the paint on the Mona Lisa cheek smack
Still with a poker face straight face held in perfection barracks
One military commander and commandress controlling a corporation sleeping sack
In church with briefcase packed
My relm is never out of wack
Black cat crosses ducks quack
Ducking and dodging paper stacked
Big Virge Sep 2021
Folks My Wordplay Is Balanced...

So My Practise Be Cracking...
More Cases Than Banquets...
And Keeps Safes From Crackers... !!!

It Has Flavour Like Crackling...
On Baking Trays Catching...
Heat That Completes...
Making My Verse Taste Sweet... !!!

My Den’s Just Like Dragons...
Whose Fire Just Flattens...
And Lyrically Batters...
Cats Into Fragments...
When My Verse Gets Cracking... !!!

Cos’ That’s Right...
I’m Like KRACKENS'... !!!

TITANICALLY SMASHING... !!!

Worlds Just Like Captains...
Whose Actions Were Fascist...
Like Columbus Type Captors... !!!

I... DESTROY Slave Masters...
And Leave Their Plans Shattered... !!!

Like Matter That Rattles...
Like Snakes That Are Angered... !!!

My Brain Matter Factors...
A World of Verse Captured...
In... Poetic Chapters...

JURASSIC Like Raptors...
When They're Called To Action...
And Quick To Be Blasting...
These Secretive Factions... !!!

My Verse Gives Out Lashings...
Like Whips That Be Cracking...
Because I’m NO Lion...
Whose Circus Compliant... !!!

I Be Cracking Defiance...
To Modern Day Tyrants... !!!

Cos My Words Are Too Vibrant...
To Ever Stay... Silent... !!!

When It Comes To The Violence...
That’s NOT The Sweet Science...
That’s Used By Great Fighters... !!!

I Be Cracking Like Tyson...
BEFORE That Ear Biting... !!!

Cos I Crack Like Evander...
So Don’t Ever Pander...
To Fake Propaganda... !!!

So Yes I Be CRACKING...
Those Heads With Light Skins...
Who Like To Be Talking...
On... How Melanin...
Makes Those With Dark Skins...
Be Those Seen As KINGS...
Because They’re Telling Fibs... !!!

So Trust These Lyrics...
I Be Cracking Like This... !!!

So Don’t Try To Slander...
My Poetic Stanzas...

Unless You Want Grammar...
That Cages Like Slammers...
Who DON’T Get It Cracking...
Like Michael Jack Dancing... !!!

That's Right I’m Grand Standing...
Like Cat Walks of Fashion...
And Bruce When He’s Acting...

Cos’ I’m READY For Actions...
That Leave Minds COLLAPSING...

Because of The Ways...
My Wordplay DISPLAYS...
How I Use My Brain...
In Ways That AMAZE... !!!

I Be Cracking Domains...
Where Trolls Choose To Play...
Their... INFANTILE Games... !!!

I Be Cracking Away...
Without Twelve Years Or Slaves...
Cos My Way Is Self Paved...
To Create Like A Sage...
Or MARVELLOUS Names...
To Gain Myself Fame...

My Game Is So Tight...
That It Needs NO Spotlights...
To Define Just How Bright...

... My Mind Really Is... !!!

It’s Equipped To Write Scripts...
That Get Cracking Like This...
Set of Lyrics I’ve Flipped...

I’m TITANIC Like SHIPS...
That Uh UH... Do NOT Sink... !!!

So DON’T Need A WINSLET....
Or Actor Who’s... Slick... !!!

Cos I’m Just TOO LEGIT...
To Get Caught By Some Gimp...
Or Some Redneck Racist... !!!

Yes These Words Are A Trip...
That Employ Movie Flicks...

And Box Office SMASHES... !!!

But I DON’T Need Backing...
Because What I’m Packing...
Is... Lyrical MAGIC... !!!
As Well As A PATENT...
That’s Big Virge’s TALENT... !!!

I’m KILLING This Passage... !!!
WITHOUT Noise Or Static...
Or.... ANIMATED Rabbits... !!!

Because I Have Managed...
To YES... Kick The Habit...
of Acting... ALL MANIC...

So There’s NO Need To Panic...
Or Be Harrison FRANTIC... !!!

I’m Just Here Relaxing...
And Maxing While Tracking...
The Way That My Mind...
And My Pen Be... Just......

......... “ CRACKING “...... !!!!
Poetically speaking, I really do be....
jeffrey robin Oct 2015
.



human kindness





Gentle soul

One with the

Holy Power !

•          •

Waiting

For da Man !!

<>

Strong


Righteous

Waiting for da Man !

)(

Kindness


Human kindness

<>

All the menfolk

Are gone !

<>

Everybody surely knows

We are maxing out on pain



But we just accept the death

Cause we don't wanna make waves  !

:::: ~~~~~ ::::

Come now from your hiding places

( you've already been seen )

kindness

Human kindness

a loving  human being

)(

Lovely human being
So have me, by the tale of time;
Bygone the glance at another of mine.
This neck of the woods, I stand, that mocks
The glance at another, the talk at another,
The eyes that sag at another of these clocks.

Another week has gone and spent its boring browns away.
What the hell’s a scream this much without a glass of noise?
Have me a cup, yes please, the one with the silver crack,
It makes me at least a trifle conscious of where I stand to cope.
I'd guess I'd drink it up so fast and check for it again.
I'd tilt the cup and notice such it's also two past nine, again.
I'd get on up and stagger past my doubts and hopes and fears.
I think sometimes I'd sort of try to hide my face from who knows what.
Then walk on back in seconds flat and just try not to sprint.
I'd sigh, I guess, I'd live and fuss, and drinks will keep me up’ed enough.

Up an’ up, like dust soars up.
And down an’ up and down and up.
And stuck, I'll stare flat,
Stuck an’ just an’ just an’...what…
I'm lost, I've known that,
Flown through that stack a’ nothins’ but
Dull manifesto’s even wannabes only and
Then this and then that and
I'll keep checking clocks and-

No, heh, parentless wreck.
Yer’ mess’ed done for th’ full of our nights.
Far to beat the life’s an’ cheats
Or something else that's rhymes with beats.
Tomorrow, with life, with time and mess
And bedtime flyin’s through these statute-husks.
Ah impersiable lines you fuss an’ ****.
You hate yourself doncha’, kid?
And this mindless puddle got half your weight.
Adding and passing your maxing an’ venting.
But, more skin, you lie then. You wanna sound bigger.
Though minding these thoughts, now, it ain't like your litter.

You can trust me, it stops and it starts.
Mor’in a’ breakin’ these words are you shakin’.
Eh, may wings give an’ fall an’
You'll quietly thank me for ******* you now.
But now ain't no time that you know some about.
Ye’ may dictate and death-wait t’ rattle ya’ up.
An’ up an’ up an’ nothins’ the time.
The world’s isn't shakin’ just for you in yer’ mind.

So, hear me, by will’s only tie.
Betwixt sets a’ eyes who keep’in starin’ me down.
And these words for a time, I speak, they are mine,
They are simply all mine,
On this night, not’n fight,
That we sit through, in spite.
They are fine, all this mind,
Now it's two past nine.
You’ll live on again,
Forever, strange time.
Finished April 26, 2017
Kagey Sage Feb 2021
Trying to make sense
and maintain confidence in a superfluous world
where you simultaneously have too much choice
but feel like you lack control under indecision.

The derision
looked down upon from those that
were able to mete out a comfortable existence
where they went off toward goals with focus

Now they're maxing
New goals include weekend boat trips, weekday dinner dates, and vacation travel plan always ever posted on the kitchen fridge
Another in the garage just for beer and pop

Can they understand folks that have it rough?
A rockier road to get to the top if there is one at all
Fear to bring children into this world?
Gabriel Bonney Mar 2020
There’s the man in the moon
An ancient rune in the sky
That is sadly too soon to die
And beneath it’s absence I lie
Laying here I’ve radically tried
But I’ve twisted the history
For some victory to sing lyrically
Waxing theological
Maxing cynically
Making it wane honorably
Hating the finical
So what about the man in my skin
And what battles does he win
None, so what’s fun about the sun
What have I to shine light on
Other than a late night care ride without brights on
So I hide away and play it renegade style
Cause the sun’s a definite
But my hope’s in the moon who hasn’t come around in a while
But my clockwork isn’t really legit
Because he was there a few days ago
I’m just stereotyping the ergo in my ego
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2022
it's 2am and i just finished a 10 hour shift so i'm not going to use any flamboyant language, i can spare myself this at least once...

well, i took my time - it was only about 10 years of hell
before i started living again...
10 years of being a recluse: of being misdiagnosed
as a schizophrenic - put on anti-depressants,
anti-psychotics gaining 50kg...

              and then the death of my grandfather...
the whole pandemic *******:
     i actually fed off the crisis... i came from it on top...
i guess some of us did: while others were forced
into what i was ****** into: everything anti-social
imaginable... i thrived...
                 i fed off the situation... lost weight...
stopped being invisible to the opposite ***...
                         even my grandfather's death was
revealing about my strength of character....
                       at first i couldn't mourn...
    i found it easier to bleed from my head after a night
of drinking ended with my slipping and knocking
my head on the radiator...
bleeding was easier than crying: and i wanted to cry
so bad: to find closure...
                          it must have been 3 months before the tear
finally came... what a beautiful release...
   done: now it's reality... the death-reality...

then starting a new job...
    only started last December and finally...
   i'm building up a very good reputation: haven't ****** up
once... i'm on good terms with the managers:
a real wage-y: i love the long hours i love the hurting feet...
the weak knees...
   touch wood i am yet to be confronted by the public...
unless it's for having selfies taken with them...
and now i might become a permanent supervisor of
stewards... even though i don't have the "necessary"
qualifications of NVQ level 3...
    hell... it's like the old way: gain enough experience,
prove yourself and a piece of paper is worth jack ****...
just ask Neville Chamberlain when he came back
from Munich...

truly: be out of work for long enough...
    get your confidence back in private after starting to exercise:
not to look better... that's second...
heart condition from my youth...
high blood pressure... hardly "looks-maxing":
health reasons... the looks just came as a bonus...

i seriously thought i was introverted:
  family members used to drill into me the mantra:
stop being shy... even though now: you'd think twice...
i sort of wish my grandfather was alive to see
me working... he really wanted to see that happening:
working and not working with my father
in the construction industry: to go among people
who were strangers...
                                     oh well...

i couldn't believe my luck today...
    i was signing in for the shift and one of the owners
of the company pulled me aside and said
he wanted  word with me: nothing bad...
             right, Matthew... you're going to be a supervisor...
i'm giving you 10 stewards...
my head started spinning... i thought i was constipated
too...
            humble beginnings...
at Fulham... stuck to walking around the park
before Craven Cottage to...
             pitch-side... supervisor...
i couldn't believe my luck...

i mean... security jobs run in the family...
    my great-grandfather was a security guard at a kindergarten,
and a caretaker...
one of my cousins worked as a security guard in
a supermarket...
me?!

   hmm... i was walking with this massive grin on my face...
i'm getting paid to be here...
  London stadium pitch-side...
i never thought i'd like Fall Out Boy...
until they started playing this one song and i took
off the headphones and started tapping my feet...
oh i knew of Fall Out Boy... but i was never into them...
but seeing them live?
what? song? Uma Thurman...
               now i'm listening to it on repeat...

sure... Weezer were good too...
                          and Green Day too...
      although it's a shame they finished on
All the Young Dudes... it would have been so perfect
if they finished their set Have the Time of Your Life...
right... and that was only today...
tomorrow i'll be parading my smile:
i'm getting paid to be here... and i'm watching
the Red Hot Chilli Peppers live...
i wonder who's going to be supporting them...

ha... and a pay rise... it's true what people say:
if you stick to your guns... sift through the ****** beginnings,
wait your turn... you'll reap rewards...
now i have to go through the entire setlist
of Fall Out Boy...
       Uma Thurman... ****... what a good song...

hell... and then on the 29th June and 1st of July:
Ed Sheeran at Wembley...
                                     life has become beautiful again...
for so long it was ugly... ugly a wet haggard mutt...

nope... i could never leave London,
not now... i'm part of the integral cultural backdrop
of the city... football matches, concerts,
this that and the other...
   and to think... well... i'm not really thinking...
for a boy born in a little ******* of a town in Poland...

well... it wasn't really a *******...
some of the steel pillar used in the Stad de France
for the 1998 world cup were produced
in the metallurgy industry... well Europe still
produced metallurgical architectural details...
before the industry was "stolen" by either China
or India... oh sure... the West celebrated the fall
of Communism... but towns like
Ostrowiec Świętokrzyski collapsed...
from a population size of reaching 100K mark...
it's now known as the town emeritus...
so many people fled after so many men were laid
off as Huta Ostrowiec collapsed...

but it's good i left when i was 8... if i left as a teenager
or an early adult: i wouldn't have this self-owned
hybrid new-English mentality...
because it's my own... the native population can't
really dictate its customs and habits...
since i'm also sort of native...
   an outsider-native... i've managed to "pollute" the waters
with my own interpretations...
whether it's concerning behaviour or
language application...

                          i face it all the time...
the best memories of childhood i have from Poland...
it's only 4 years worth of memories...
4 years worth which translates to about 10 concrete
memories that i preciously kept...
36 - 8 = 28.... years in England...
              happily not going to make the mistake
that other immigrants made when they didn't
entrust their mother tongues to their children:
trying to forcibly integrate...
    that sort of anti-racist pacifism or whatever you
want to call it...
i'd rather Somalis spoke Somali
than these hollowed out shells that speak English
but... you know: don't look English...
was it really that lazy to avoid creating Dutch-esque
republics... or the Scandinavian model...
the Swiss model... too hard to keep two languages?!
i kept both of mine...
   i'm better for it... if i forgot Polish i'd be a *******...
literally...
by now America could be a pristine bilingual model
of a country... English and Spanish...
but no...

well... i never understood the modern take on
autobiographies...
people live these interesting lives...
they reach a certain age and have this
retrospective-crisis... by then memory has been
eroded... and life written about that only has
these zenith events is such a boring read...
there's nothing about: this one time i made this
perfect brew of tea... for example: not really...

at least ancient Roman poets had a vague idea
about what an autobiography is like:
having X opinions aged 21... but Y opinions aged 36...
or... i'm still writing this while listening
to Fall Out Boy's Uma Thurman on repeat...
i don't think i'd be listening to it
if i didn't hear it live first...
                i don't even mind not having eaten much
throughout the day...
i was eating adrenaline: ***** and giggles...

oh man... i'm a truly lucky man...
    like Bukowski once wrote: there's no luck like
that of a madman...
      funny aside: you can't go mad twice...
you can only have one proper psychotic trip...
which, given enough time-span is probably better
than any hallucinogenic ingestion:
psychosis can't be a scary word...
               soul-osmosis... sure... with psychosis
the soul escapes the confines of the mind...
of what i can best describe as: "audible"-thinking...
Descartes' res cogitans model disintegrates:
yet res extensa is kept intact:
   auditory hallucinations?! i confined them to
the res extensa...
    and then played a trick on the symptoms with my
bilingualism... i "heard" a hallucination in English
then switched languages... weird...
i stopped hearing auditory hallucinations...

3am is creeping and i need to be up by 10am
to get ready... shine my shoes... iron my trousers...
iron my shirt... probably try to eat something...
     yeah... life is beautiful...
          people are beautiful...
                       everything is beautiful:
i should know: for the longest of time everything
was ugly... reminiscent of Ralph Fiennes
in the 2002 film: Spider...
                                         it was that bad;
but like my grandfather kept reminding me:
who do you have to thank for getting out of this
horror? guess... guess who?!
exactly: you and only you alone...
   not me... not psychiatrists, not psychologists...
you... you pulled your own weight:
i like that inversion of mea culpa into what became:

            ego vis.
Universe Poems Apr 2022
Take a seat
Feel the soil
Consult the moisture boss
Peat moss
Care for your plants
Nature does not leave it to chance
Sphagnum moss
No digging up this boss
Removed with eco in mind
Habitat let's be kind
Harvesters today,
drain swamp land anyway
While taking sphagnum,
they remove peat moss
Habitat loss
Maxing out profits,
and their time,
in swamp wellie lockets

© 2022 Carol Natasha Diviney
TJ Struska Feb 2020
Its little, then less.
I thought I saw them through the screen, Out in the desert
With the Gila Monsters,
I should have brought my scabbard, but I brought
Jello instead. Better than
Maxing out your credit card
At the door, Then having
To ride the El back through
Bucktown to Lorgan Square.
Better to smoke out on the veranda,Ponder the winter
Moon flush full,
Cold in absolute north.
Better the ski lift to nowhere
In your mind, then the low ride to the bottom of the stairs. Almost post time
In the 9th race full
Of nags and nobodys.
Could have banked this ending to the trash heap
Of fine art.
I should have saw this coming, This blind swoon
In the dirt, kicking
Dust all around.
Sorry about your Pay Per View,
Left in lurching in the mud.
Said you lost the thread
Of it. Well I said the same
Some months back,
Now I only watch reruns
Of Wagon Train.
I didn't say it was good.
Hell, I didn't say it was
Anything at all.
I could have joined the
Union with my brother,
Stamping out uniforms for Confederates who still wear them. Instead the sell instant
Cameras to anyone who's looking.
I try to have some levity in my poems. Writing is a joy, your poems should reflect that.
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2020
an atypical story of ratio:
the biography probably reads something
akin to: ink is blood...
my nein narratives are like rivers -

703 followers / 1.5k words...

perfect ratio!
a minimum of words...
a maxing out on followers...
if i see s ghost in a glass...
norman mr. friendly...
if i see a vampire in a mirror:
mildly entertaining...
come the pivot
of seeing myself: my self
in the shadow...

crescendo!
no falafel wrap for me tonight!

— The End —