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I'm a sad, sad humanbeing
Wandering in the night
I'm not lost, I'm finding myself
In the forrest, in the wild, all alone
This is where I feel known
"MIXED FEELING."

The saints
are always
crook: why.?
They have
none tolerance for *******. Yes
believe me
they don't,
even Christ
Jesus didn't. Nonetheless
though He
quoted "When your
right cheek
is slapped turn
the left side."
that's no *******, it's
what make
a Saint. But
He hesitated
not to chase the Merchandise
out the
Lord's temple.
******* are: like, sometimes where positivity is
anticipated finding negativity there
right is
the biggest
******* in the
whole wide
crazy world.
Full of
crazy thangz, crazy people living crazy lifestyle. Wide
life, out
the jungle,
homicides, massacre Wonder why we breathing, when
we living to
die. Or I'm
high? (Sigh)
when will the
world halt being ridiculously
crazy. Said
they he's
zany. Plagued
the sages
mad. However
sages are the
last hopes
to heal
the world.
Corona-virus
army, enemy
agent of segregation. What right have
you to black
me, who am
I to white
a brother. ?
When we
looked just
the same, being  humanbeing.
How to become
human, Auth-positive thinking faculty, creativity,
optimism build only, nothang but
possibility. Innovation, inspiration,
motivation.
Here rode
time on the
road to glory
is there any future anywhere.? if
there ever is
a time for
everythang
le' me use
mine now. I
was told
the future
is now, I
wanna live
it unfolding
my pages
stepping the
stair cases,
roller coaster,
fortune searching
I
ride slow,
nonetheless
I gets heading
I should rush
not, yet
on steadily.
#C9_fm
How do I do this.
Cause the pain
Pain of the flock of crows
Impaling the love of her
Her they say,
Is the most rewarding and beautiful humanbeing on the planet.
But I,
I'm nothing...

I'm sorry that I'm like this.
Weak
Ugly
Arrogant
Selfish
I'm not the man you married.
I'm a coward. And will be for the rest of my life.
I'm not worth it. I'm not even worth anything.

I love you so much.
So so much.
My love for you is
Deeper than the ocean
Higher than the pines.

But my Pines are on fire and burning.
I'm dangerous
I'm ruining you every single day.
How can you be with someone like me.
How?
I'm so toxic.
Toxic..

I wish I can. Take it all back.
But I can't
You won't ever forgive.
And I cant forgive myself
For what I did to you.
I make you
cry and cry and cry
It kills me...

I'm sorry

I'm the Monster.
I'm toxic
Have you ever had that feeling of being inadequate?
Feeling like nothing is ever going to change? Same old, same old.
You want things to change, but they never do.
It makes you sicker and sicker for each passing minute.
That's exactly how I feel, and how do you keep you hopes up, your mood or anything for that matter?
Of course there is a lot to be grateful for, but when you are feeling so down, so hopeless, so alone and like such a failure... it's hard to appreciate anything at all.

It's all my faulth, because there is so much more I can do.
I just feel like I don't have the energy,  guts or confidence to try, and feeling like that only backfires on me.

How do I get the strength to be who I am, do what I want and live as I lust, in a world that tells us who we should be, how we should look, how we should think and tells us how we should live?
People who are able to do that, are one of the courageous people in the world.

We're lucky enough to be able to live as good as we do, and then we make stress for ourselves on things that don't really matter.
You have to do this or that to look pretty and stay young as long as possible.
We create needs that weren't even there to begin with.
We make them life essentials, when they're really far from it.

It's a ****** up world that kills the freespirited mind and makes us all live in cages.
Cages where everything is already decided, and if you don't measure up, then you fail as a humanbeing.
The truth is you fail more following the norm. You fail more not following you heart.
You fail more not seeing the world as it is, and doing what you can to make a difference.
You fail yourself being a coward. You fail your life. You fail the world.
You fail.

If you really feel like a failure, reflect upon how you are living your life and analyze if you are living for you, or for those who want to hold you captive...
The minute you stop just blindly following the crowd, is the minute you stop failing and start succeeding.
Kolawole Zainab Aug 2019
As I look up at the sky
I realised life is a lie
The creator is merciful
And life is beautiful

The creator is kind
He gave comforts which everyone can find
Humanbeing hid it
And struggle to eat

Life is like a ball
Watch by eyes in the hall
Few live for good
Many live for food

He gave head,leg and nose
But life is full of foes
Life is a treasure
Humanbeing call it pleasure

Life is like stages
For different pages
It is a temporary place to live
And everybody will leave

The creator is glory
Everything is story
Life is neither serious nor careless
Live it for excellence
B D Jul 2013
You’re the light that brightens my bed every morning
While I’m the silence in the closet, weeping and mourning

You’re the sky that shows off its cerulean blue
And I’m just a lousy humanbeing, wandering around with no clue

You’re the limpid crystal of the eyes of an orphan
Kindly as he always has been,
Smiles at you while there’s no reason

You remind me of guileless angels
Serene my love, come closer
You’re the reason to believe in heavens
KD Jul 2015
What I've become is scaring me
I am terrified of my own reflection, because who can love a person
who has gotten so shut down, power-off towards reality

When I am forced to open my eyes
I am worried about all the things that could happen, because I
who is so full of troubles, do not know how to power-off on that

Where I place my feet solid on the ground
I am not feeling the solid but more a wobbly cloud of traps awaiting me
who cannot grip onto anything but my fears and isolation

Why did I become such a sad humanbeing
I am in lack of understanding my own emotions and actions
who can save me -from myself
May be someone has built a house
At the frontier of my heart!
Since somedays , slipping through my fingers
I have lost the sleepy night!
The roar sound of a child is being heard.
Amongs the pensiveness of my mind
There are certain sufferings
Of delivering a child!
Albeit it is unseen,
It is true.
For having the heart of humanbeing
The stirring words are REVOLT
And devoted themselve into deeper meaning of POETRY.
Belike ! The prolong pang is to be end!
Or perhaps ! The ***** dream of flying
By the chariot of literary addiction has to fulfilled!

কবিতাৰ শিৰোনাম: মাতাল সপোন

হৃদয়ৰ পাদদেশত হয়তো
কোনোবাই ঘৰ সাজিছে
যোৱা কেবাদিনৰ পৰাই টোপনি হেৰাইছে।

শিশুৰ বিকট চিঞৰ কাণত পৰিছে
উদ্বাউল মনত প্রসৱৰ বেদনা ধৰা পৰিছে।
চকুৰে নমনিলেওঁ এয়া সত্য।
মানৱ হৃদয় থকা বাবেই
ক্ষুব্ধ শব্দই স্বাধীনতা বিচাৰিছে
কবিতাৰ অর্থত নিজকে সঁপি দিছে।
কিজানিবা অন্ত পৰেই দীর্ঘ বেদনাৰ
আৰু পূর্ণ হয় সাহিত্যৰ ৰথত উৰি ফুৰাৰ মাতাল সপোন!!
This is what I defined as Poetry.
Sleepz Nov 2017
In his life span he joined the Ku Klux ****.
But for Mexicans.
His name was Dan,
With a happy fam.
It seemed he was happy too.
Though he had no clue
What the rest of you felt.

He was just here standing,
Tall and proud,
With a shroud over his head,
Where his mind is dead.

His skin sheds to dust,
When he walks place to place,
Every molecule wasting away.
Tasting dismay yet he doesnt
Feel hes gone astray.

His wife knows hes here to stay.
Remain the same could he ever
Hope he may pull the lever to success
By no means taste the death
Thats what they say
But no one to lead the way.

He looks good in a suit,
His rolex watch too,
Hair due to the max,
Combed nicely slicked
back with wax
Stacks and stacks of his cash
Given to the poor
Even though hes been attacked
And jacked.
He still opens the door,
Not the physical but the one in his heart.
He cares, genuinely.

This is a story of a man
Who seeks to be the best.
Indeed he is
in everything he does
This is a must.
Perfectionalist,
nobody can deny it.
Yet so big headed he sits alone
In his home.
Does not look for trouble,
But always seems to find it.
How can we define it,
Self praise at its finest.

In his attempts to be the best,
Hes lacked being the most patient.
He tries so hard but fails every time.
The most caring,
The most loving.
He tries and tries but fails everytime.
The most respectful the most social,
He tries and tries but fails everytime.
The most likeable the most agreeable,
Anti-politician,
Less based on false intuition.
He tries and tries and fails everytime.

Till one day he came to God,
He said to Him:
"Why oh why am I feeling this way,
So much like a slave to the failures
I make,
Fake ambition with fake success.
What measures does one need to take?
I've been good, but my good lasts
So little.
I've been patient but my patience
Is thin like a string and easy to cut.
I follow all the rules and regulations
Yet feel so forsaken.
The more I eat my body feels weak,
The more I sleep the more weary I am.
The more I drink my body grows
Thirsty.
The more I think the more I am
Confused.
The more I try the more that I fail."

God answered and said:
"Dear son, why have you grown to sad?
You were a happy man now you
Are not so glad.
In your lifespan you've done all good things,
But there's much yet that you still have not seen."

That night he had a dream,
Of a stream flowing down a mountain,
It was clear blue and he knew he was thirsty,
He drank from it and could not believe
What he felt,
There was much joy and happiness
He could not hold it in.
He expressed it in his smile and his heart grew big within.
He expressed it as he jumped,
And expressed it as his eyes shined bright.

He woke up the next day,
A new man
Free from ambition,
And thirst for success.
He no longer felt the need to be the best.
He accepted his familyloved him the way he was,
And his coworkers looked up to him
He stressed himself for nothing.
His friends still seek him,
Cause his friends need him.
He realizes his lifes destiny is not to
Constantly worry about the things he does.
But simply to live.

A human being will always be patient
Temporarily.
A humanbeing will always feel anger
And annoyance.
A human being will always make clumsy
Mistakes.
A human being will never be perfect.
Lets not expect others to be perfect,
If they anger, its okay.
If they're rude, thats okay too.
Who are we to correct someone
Elses kid?
Though our fists may be clenched
And ready,
Or our voices held back ready to yell.
Take a deep breath,
Be happy this person doesn't
Suffer trying to be perfect.
And have a mindset that the days
You fail, they'll forgive you too.
Title the world, once I branded, ex bandit, cats cant stand it,
Watch me out land it, crashed on plymouth rock, hard knocks,
From the cops, when my homie had to make the quick drops,
Slouchy, mighty touchy, when the shotti, next to me, easy,
Come easy, go rilling in dough,
Pillysbury style, saw miles, before I walked my first dials,
On the phone, tryna get a wet bone, link back at the zone,
My home, my throne, guard it like Jeffer-son, soothe baritone,
Paul Williams, of the industry, pass cloud nine to ten, chemistry,
Check the geometry, of my lady, back side banging mercedes,
Whoa!, to our future kids, if we got problems ma, let's just dig,
Solve our own problems, before the media robs em, stab em,
With the vocal, shot off words like a pist-al, slows sips of cristal,
Ice dripping off the crystal, ***** of a disco, sparkling slow mo,
Take it back, to the soul train, dance hall, baby let's ball gall,
For your love, from others sisters to brothers and many others,
Love to spread, the butter haters under, slash the thunder,
Lightening strikes, before midnight, picture my sight iight,
Cold dreaming, dont waste the *****, succubus tag teaming,
I must be seeing, things ain't so supreme, I'm a just a humanbeing,
Mortal, but my souls immortal, saw life after death, it was pleasant,
Had undercover peasant,
Worship the presence, over the past, listen to the music, back mask,
Hold up, unveil the last, break the task, move fast as Nash,
Power bomb ya intellect, with the shells of my medulla, selects,
Bring down ya threats, no sweat, but heat off my baguettes,
Icy dripping wet, like girls pearls, I'm still taking on the world,
Hold my status, the baddest, since Jesse James, detain the lames,



Made on the back burners, of sin, born in, to a false religion,
Call us stool pigeons, for playing a masculine positions,
Saw ambitions, of wishing  twinkle star still mixing, kissing,
My dreams goodbye, just another lullaby, so gangstified,
How many of ya peeps tried, failed and hoped you died,
But I took the critics, and buried em, with a fist of rhymes,
Dimes, over pennies, watch em turn Guinea, more than plenty,
Rhymes I got, keep it going til I body rot, its bone **** plot,
Take the bullets from malcolm, and Kennedy, reload it,
Unload it,at my enemies, playing friends of me, raunchy cronies,
Form a rap colony, with no apology, resurrect my ancestry bodies,
Come back, revert the track, murk the masters, of the disaster,
Nat Turner, blaster with the burner, independent learner,
Since the schools, failed me as a, successful earner,
Had to learn tha, hard way stress was building away, always,
Caught a smoke sessions, wild days of my hay day, blazing hay,
No delays, on time, all I saw was, dollar signs, snake lines,
We was all made to fail by design, see the peace sign, rewind,
Check the history, ain't got nothing to do with freedom see?,
Society for what, it really is, put that on my mints n kids,
Future ain't nothing, too bright two shades of butter white,
But I'm a still a *****, focused michete sharp as finger trigger,
Itchin, for a twitching, fast as a blast, now ya mans, in a cask-
-et, looking well fit, tuxedo snort rush fast adrenaline like DeVito,
Cab riding, off the cookie show, mystery meat glow,
Soylent green, love a diva surpeme, like a scorpion stings,
Sings of siren, got me admiring, pretty girls spark the swirls,
Got the little boys, puberty yelling, but without a noise,
Sprishya Dec 2018
Don't let me be the kind of *******
Who hides behind the facade of fake morals
Blinded by the who's and what's of the society
To carefully navigate into the spectrum of likability
Murdering ideas
Shepherded by the popular beliefs that the self proclaimed "ubermensch" with values smaller than the faith of a mother consoling her dying child propagates
Don't let me be the kind of *******
Blindly seeing the disarray of colors and beliefs
Waving divisive flags of identity
While failing to identify the core of what makes us humans in the first place
Erasing the tiniest sketch of personality
To enjoy the recognition that comes with society's impeccably placed self serving values
Foolish enough to think that they're smarter than the rest
Smart enough to recognise the falacies that dont serve their interest
Don't let me be the kind of *******
Bayoneting the rights of others to exists
Carrying big guns
Compensating for the personality they lack
Their inability to break the circuit
Their brains programmed to applaud
The orange bleep on their screens that rule their lives
Their messiah
Don't let me be the kind of *******
Pretentiously answeing to a higher cause
While dismissing the cries that really need answering
Leading life one line at time
From a forged manuscript
Playing my part just right to be recognised at the pearly gates
While closing my doors to the here and now
To the damaged
To the rejects who dont see the white and gold
Or the the blue and black
But simply crave the warmth of the fabric
Of a touch, of a hug
Maybe a warm cup of humanity
Not the body or the blood of
A humanbeing just like the rest of us
We're all capable of miracles
Not a trick like walking on water
Bur changing the world one life at a time
Not as gods
But humans, in our truest forms
(Fort Worth, TX 12/02/2018)
Vinolin D May 2019
You born in the world
To cry
To feel
To fall
To get hurt
To get a depression
To handle ups and downs
To handle the distractions
To handle all the hates
To experience all the bad moments
It's a normal thing of every humanbeing.
If you cried, you wipe your tears
If you fell down, wake up again
If you got hurt, don't care about it
If you got a depression, try to be calm.
If you met ups and downs, handle it happily
If you got the distractions, try to handle it
If you got hurt, try not to keep it in your mind
Experience all the bad moments
To realize all the good moments
Have to meet everything for achieving your achievements
Try Try Try...
Try endlessly
Everything has the end in the world
Nothing is permanent
Not only about the people
It's about the bad moments too
Nothing is impossible
Meet everything happily
Think who are you!
You see the fire in your heart
You can do anything
Keep on trying...
"Do or Try"
Not "Do or Die"
God only has the rights to finalize our life.
Throw all the problems and Achieve your "Achievements".
Vilene Joubert May 2019
When you're the only one who failed to see what a decent humanbeing she actually is...
You don't find such beauty in hearts anymore..
And you realize - What you took for granted - Another will Appreciate!
Another will ~
Love her ~ the way she deserves to be Loved!!
Every morning
and every night
I wake up and then go to sleep
having to make a choice
whether to shrink my heart
and my perception of the world
to only that which I can see
to become wounded and scared

or to become wiser and more in love with the kindness that holds me together
that cradles me at night and when I travel through towns amongst strangers alone

to keep allowing the beauty I see in eyes of old women and their silver grey hair
as well as the laughter of friends nearing my age laughing uncontrollably at each other’s words
make me believe in growing older and more tender
and in how loving and attentive one humanbeing can be towards another
how simple it is to show care
how important it is never withhold light or love

every morning and every night I choose again, and again

and again

I close my eyes, ball up my little fists and whisper “ do not shrink; take courage heart of mine” again and again
and again in my empty room I do not feel alone
I see more than lack
and sorrow in my life
I see the capacity of the empty space to hold; its abundance is clear

— The End —