I'm stuck for words at the moment
I can't seem to find the right rhythm
To describe you

It's almost like the sweetest part of you,
The one that I always knew loved me most
Was hidden away from me for all the months
That it was too cold for his steady warmth
Like he was too afraid of becoming frozen
And decided to lock himself away
Inside of you

Because of this feat
I've found you to be more controlling,
Causing me pain in ways I never thought you could,
Or ever would, it hurt me to be with you,
Though it hurt far more trying to flee,
And so I stayed, holding on to the memories of the sweet boy
Who always packed an extra sweater
With me in mind, and never forgot
To kiss me goodnight
I hoped with all my heart he wasn't a facade,
And that he'd come back to me,
But hope faded fast,
I wasn't sure if we'd last

This is where I'm stuck,
Because I'm still dazed by it all
The weather is warmer,
The sun shines brightly
He's happy, Really happy
Not just for the minute or hour
Not because he just finished getting off either
I honestly don't know what happened,
Maybe he sees my effort?
Maybe that's all that sweet boy I missed so dearly wanted,
To see my effort in trying so hard to keep us together,
Because beyond my fast falling hopes,
I saw him today, all day.
In every time he said "I love you," I saw him
And it wasn't just an echo of something he should say,
But rather his own heart speaking to me directly,
I felt he meant it every time,
Complete and total joy well up inside me now
Love dripped from each word and syllable he spoke,
His breath stank of it
And I loved it
And I knew he loved me,
Despite all my horridness, he loves me.

My god, I can't tell people enough of how happy I am,
I've found the secret!
I know what to do!
Can it have been this simple all the while?
All I had to do was but open my lips
Let the sounds of my thoughts roll off my tongue
So easy, so simple,
And yet so hard all the same
But I know what to do now
And if this is what it takes to make my sweet boy
Greet me with smiles and sweet kisses every day,
That I'll **** well suffer through the hardships of change
Until it becomes as natural as loving him.

Such a tedious thing,
I sense our existence appears.
For my chest to breech to the sky,
A tightened blossom of whipping purity.
Then to sink towards such a vicarious engulfment of hell.

With each palpitating symposium,
My lungs waver.
To crust over,
and bless the,
upon gilded guffaws.
Perturbed of my ascension.

Or shall they sink,
Sallow under chagrined blasphemy,
My horridness inked upon
parchment seasoned skin.  

Not but,
a child of bitter consideration.
I shall butter myself in ashes,
just to perceive myself a shadow.
For at dusk's beckon,
perturbed; to kiss the constellations.

Blemishes I conjured,
beneath a quavering lip,
a gentle crease of my nose.
I silence their whimpering of wrongdoings,
which I have failed to rupture.

To exhale,
in such a bubbling manner.
It gurgles at my lips.
Dribbles before me,
Whilst the sun blinks back a yawn.
Yet, upon a lunar serenade,
the talons which protrude from my veins,
writhes gruesome.  

To my supposed
talents,
I see no anchor.
From them, to what lay before me.
To where I shall drift.

And good sir,
label my simplistic existence,
if you must.
Yet I shall soon die,
and so, you will too.
And by that flicker of seconds,
we should matter no more.

Darkness settles inward, eating, chewing, ripping away at our hearts
If only we had known you would let our paths be torn apart
Did you not hear the powerful strenuous strain?
The crying of our innards as you sought only personal gain

The truth you knew, you should never have used it
To harm another and drive them down into the pit
So many lives we allowed you to hurt in your selfishness
Oh, why did we follow such horridness?

We saw a man full of energy, not a moment of faith did he lack
Our faith lay in that man, we were to blind to see we did not have his back
We did not see the one who clung on so tightly and never did he wear the crown
He used our ignorance to drive us down

The deep emotions that left us at a loss
We cannot find the oomph to carry on at any cost
We failed when we mistook you for the one
The pedestal we placed you on we wish we could have undone

He said he had me like the rain;
I was cold, and sharp, and I always slipped away.
I never intended to slip through your fingertips,
though I often find myself doing so.

I am not hard to hold onto,
but I am simply hard to hold.
My skin is lined with thorns,
but I am not as pretty as a rose.

His words felt like velvet
as he told me why he only half smiled.
I hardly paid attention, but,
I loved it when I did.

He was like a fire;
he was fascinating until
you gave him half a touch.
He burned.

I laced threads that were,
damp with his breath
as I stitched up the holes in his shoes.

His laugh was worn and stale,
as he leaned back in his chair.
His shoes were barely patched,
and his eyes were still dark and black.

I didn't think his darkness,
would take a stable home.
I hoped that all his horrors
would eventually leave him alone.

He had splinters in his ribcage,
and trying lines on his spine.
His body bends as he rolls over,
he never sleeps at night.

His alarm is always calling,
like his mother by the stairs.
His sister's always falling,
for the boys with metal on their lips,
a little piece of him he'd wish he could forget.

His skin is worn like parchment,
as he wishes away what he is.
I wish he'd never change himself,
but hes the only one who did.

I traced his skin in circles,
and left salt on his wrists.
This part of him couldn't be,
he didn't want any of this.

The slender of his jaw was cracked,
and his fingertips were crooked.
None of this had hardly mattered
when he was soft and warm and less rugged.

I left him wrapped in leather,
on his bed, alone in the dark.
I couldn't prevent his horridness,
from claiming himself as it's own.

He said I was the Sun;
I was warm and bright,
and brought new life.
I hoped I brought him back.

But his eyes had sunk like anchors,
and his lips were small and numb.
And when he laughed the stale was gone,
and breath was left instead.

I watched him fade like a photograph,
and I washed away the stains.
But, alas, I couldn't help him;
I couldn't take away the pain.

The silence is deafening,
Beheld upon the creaking drawers of an escritoire,
The sonorousness of all and none,
Still, oh so still,
May the hands of which lay immobilized by this muddled mind of mine.

I hate water
Its breathless and dead
Tell me to take a bath
I'll fill the tub with fire
And wash myself in the flame
For fire has breath
It licks and touches
And forever caresses
My black cracked bones
They might **** me
But at least i'll still be warm
Instead of sinking like a stone
Into the crushing darkness.
Mind numbing horridness
Cold and friendless
Give me the flame any day
Because I. Hate. Water.

Straight outta the E-town underground, yeah you gotta do what yah gotta do to be found. Out for blood so you best guard your neck, for it's a dog eat dog world and I'm willing to whatever I can to get another check. Money runs everything, for you can't be anything if you got nothing. I earned this ****, and I'm not going to lose this **** because If I did I would probably lose my ****. Don't hate me for being brown, and stop trying to drag me down. Going out like John wick, yeah I'm about to do some sick tricks with guns popping off some stupid *****. Should not mess with me, for I'll come out of nowhere because like john cena you won't be able to see me. Not one to sleep around, because I'm looking for my other half and I don't want to carry around past regrets or wounds.

I know life ain't no fairytale but I want a love like tom hanks and meg ryan in the movie you got mail. ***** I ain't gay, and I'm no hick that you may find down by the bay. I'm a poet and I won't stop it, for I want something real rather than a hit it then quit it. In health and sickness, in poverty or wealth, in horridness or goodness. For ever I commit, for my love for you is too legit to quit. Never doubt or worry, not going to fold what I was dealt and I know sometimes it'll feel like a long shot to make up after a argument but we'll make it like steph curry. But anyways back to saying **** you want to hear, but **** it I'm done thinking sideways and being influenced by my peers. I don't sell out or buy in, for I'm out of my cell and ready to put all my chips in.

Life is a gamble, so either you can rise to your potential or stay on the ground and continue to be trampled. As much as violence is senseless sometimes it's the only way to solve things to keep on the illusion of happiness. People **** people, so how can we have a better sequel when we continue what our ancestors did because life is supposed to move forward not stay in some paradoxical prequel. Am I mental for be ethical? Am I truly gentle or am I just a boiling kettle? Proud of being different, and I'm not to say it loud and make it apparent. Classy but no wishy washy, yet I'm also Gaudy but not ******. Hastily with emergency I spit honestly gracefully and tastefully because it just one of my special qualities. Not to shabby how crafty and classy I be, for I'm on a verbal assault so best not **** with me.

Paging the future class people are catching up so best hit the gas. 3,2,1 blast off, raise the mast, to be unsurpassed so bravo squad please confirm that we have lift off. Yes in deed I took off, going off like a Molotov yeah I'm life is an adventure so best explore it like Laura Croft. Got the 8-ball rolling, so join along with me don't be a thot and don't be scared what life will be unfolding. Gotta have an appetite for destruction, because before you reconstruct society you got to fix its corrupted dysfunctional delusion. Watch your approach to this danger, because things will become stranger. But if it ain't ruff it would be to easy, and life isn't ever supposed to be breezy. Check your chin and make sure your looking straight, don't overdo it because we are as fragile as plates. You got to be a dope man just as long as you don't get caught up in the dope man. If you get asked to run 100 miles run 100 more, because you got to stay humble yet dedicated to the core. Never be afraid to express yourself, and if you get depressed don't let lies enter your mind that say to **** yourself. There will always be good, bad and ugly and there will be times where you takes hits as if you were playing rugby

Feel me

Branch out

You live

Apathetically

You’re a charlatan

Who dwells

One sidedly

Dark sidedly

Think you spew vitriolic criticism

Just abysmal blabber

You’re like an infant without wonder

You’re a void for joyousness

You’re incontinent of your blabber

Of your verbal feces

And vile thoughts

Read the room

We’re sick of your ****

The only depth you have

Is how low you make everyone

You’re so dismal

Break free

From your own restraints

And you can scintillate

Beauty can always root

Where horridness once dwelled

By the graves of all those hollow eyes
where the ravens fight for a morsel of meat
I sit in death and contemplate my complaint

I hear the screaming,
watch the shallow graves
see the dead reaching out

A cold mist envelopes me
I am joining that kingdom soon
so waiting for the embrace of forever

All my nightmares die with me
all the horridness of war
a task never completed

So as I lay myself to rest
I hear the screaming
and one of the voices, is mine

By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris