i jus now saw
some dude
literally move
the apt. dumpster
so to paint
the wall white
behind it;

a wall, which,
will be completely ******* covered
by the dumpster,
after putting it back
against the newly painted white wall.

plus im pretty sure they're calling for rain..

that happened.

i actually witnessed that happen:
and, then, proceeded to
turn around
-awkwardly-
to go back inside my apt.,
with two full trashbags in hand.

... do you even realize what that means??

somebody actually gave him
that task: "go paint behind the dumpster."
aren't there other things to do?
or is this guy's boss that much of a ******
that he'd tell his employee,
"heyyy soo.... the wall.. behind the dumpster --
you know that wall? yaa
it needs to be painted.."

i mean, it'd be one thing
if, like,
the wall were
visible. and gross looking.
and people were calling
and complaining
about it,
like it was some eyesore
that offended their
otherwise
aesthetic enjoyment
and anticipation
of approaching
the scuffed forest green
apt. dumpster.

but it's not;
so it's not;
and so
they aren't.

or i'd get it if people routinely socialized
hanging around dumpsters,
like a water-coolor
or something;

buuut they don't;
so it's not
like a water-cooler..

... yaaa, unless i'm missing something here,
as far as i know,
there have been no
emerging cultural trends
whereby large groups of people
are routinely finding some
sorta symbolic resonance with
the object of a
dumpster;

it's gravitas
doesn't exactly
prompt frequent and
spontaneous dialogue
around it.

it isn't a known cultural artifact,
representing something meaningful and
bigger than ourselves, creating cohesion
and establishing an intangible commonality:

behold, our goodly trash-bearer!
great eater of things prolly totally not needed!
humble builder of plastic trash continents,
swirling vortex in the middle of the high seas!

nobody says that.

ever.

and nobody
is overstaying their visit
at a giant,
smelly
metal maw
which disposes things,
either unneeded or unwanted,
long enough
to suddenly notice that
the wall behind it
could maybe use a new paint job.

it's not exactly a cafe.
it's a ******* dumpster.

that man,
charged with the task of
painting the wall whiter
behind the dumpster,
ought to be
painting
on a canvass

which we all could see,
visible to the greater public.
and we would celebrate it, with him.
we could all gather
together, and toast
to his mind manifest, his art,
on display for all to see.

i wanna see THAT.
**** the white wall
behind the
******* dumpster.
that **** can wait.

what visions would surface?
how would he render it?

what would
he make?

i dunno

maybe
he'd paint
a surrealist depiction
of a man
charged with the task
of painting white
a wall behind a dumpster
as rain clouds
rolled in overhead,
spelling out

"i am Employer.
destroyer of worlds,
and vibes.
feel my ****** wrath."

There was a loud knock on the door. Callie froze.
“Hello? Anyone in there? Daryl! Open up!” The muffled voice of Ginny could be heard outside the lab door. Callie hurried into the back room.
“Daryl, your wife is here...” she said worriedly. “What are we going to do??”
“Oh my god. Just... don’t make any noise. If the boss knows we were here, using his lab, he’ll **** us. I know. I’ll call her and tell her that I’m on my way home.” Callie wrung her hands as Daryl paced back and forth, muttering to himself.
“Heyyy, Ginny. Sorry, work kept me out late. I’m on my way home now.” Dayrl spoke into the phone sweetly. “Alright see you there.” He hung up. Callie’s eyes were wide.
“I heard her leave. Let’s get out of here.” Callie grabbed her purse and her sweater off her desk and opened the lab door slowly. Daryl followed quickly behind Callie as they tip toed their way through the dark hallways of the Laboratory.

As Ginny left the lab and was walking back to her car, her phone rang. “Hello?” She listened as Daryl spoke quickly. He sounded very nervous. “Okay, Daryl. I’ll see you at home.” She hung up and stopped. Her husband was acting very strange tonight. She had been knocking on the door to his office and even his boss’s office. What is he up to..this doesn’t feel right. I trust him but... Ginny turned around slowly and made her way back to the dark, tall gray building. If he’s cheating on me I swear... Her mind was running through hundreds of possibilities, her anger and worry growing. Nearing the front door, she removed her heals and crept into the building. She listened carefully before ducking into a room that had a nice view of the elevator and the exit. Peeking through the blinds, she waited and watched.

Callie held Daryl’s hand as they left the elevator, walking towards the front exit. “Okay we’re clear,” Daryl whispered in Callie’s ear. As the young woman walked past Daryl, her rose infused perfume drifted into his face and he shivered as the scent filled his nostrils. Grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him he kissed her passionately. There was a loud choking sound behind them and they turned around suddenly. Ginny was standing in the hallway, eyes wide, fists balled up in shock and anger.
“Wha...what is going on, Daryl?” Her voice shook, and she didn’t take her eyes off of Callie. “Who is she?” Daryl was as stiff as a stone. “Who. Is. She, Daryl. What is going on?”
“Ginny, it’s not what it looks like. I love you. She was forcing me. I promise.” Callie took a step back.
“Excuse me?! Daryl, you started this between us. Do NOT act like you are the innocent one here. You told me you loved me more than your wife. That you were going to leave her... You...you are a *****, ***** liar.” Callie broke into tears and fell to her knees.
“Callie...Ginny! Ginny I don’t know what she’s talking about. I love you. You know I love you.” Daryl stepped towards Ginny. She held up her hands defensively.
“Get away from me, you creep!” Daryl stopped.
“Come on, Ginny. Let’s go home. I love you, please it’s not what it seems. Look, I ******* up. Come on, I’ll get the car.” Daryl backed up slowly, and then headed for the door. A terrible scream was heard and the next moment, Daryl was on the floor, blood spurting everywhere. A large glass paperweight dropped to the floor with a loud thud and a ****** as a corner shattered off. Two pairs of wide eyes stared down at the body silently.

When the police had arrived, Callie and Ginny were sitting together on a bench, shivering in the cold night air. A young girl in her late teens, early twenties was sitting across from them, her eyes dry. “Ladies, may I ask what happened here? There’s a man in there, dead. Which one of you did this?” A policeman came up to the women with a pencil and a paper pad.
The young girl looked up. “I killed him.” The girl stood up. “He’s been leading three different lives. One with me, my mother, and my little brother in Arlington. I knew about all of them. I followed him a lot. I found him leading one with her, that lady there.” She held up a finger at Ginny. “And then he was having an affair with her.” She moved her finger to Callie. “I couldn’t deal with it anymore. He was a greedy, selfish *******. I did it. I killed Daryl Stevenson. I killed my father.”

Hello?

"Is Andrew home?"

This is him speaking.

"Heyyy. It's me _"

Oh hey _

"I need your help..."

Ok? Are you hurt?

"I'm..... Well I'm not hurt yet...."

I can come over if you'd like.

"No you wouldn't like to see me like this."

Her speech is slurred...

Are you drunk?

"No I don't drink. I'm high though. Hehe."

I'm coming there right now.

"No... no you.. you can stay. I have my friend here with me."

Who is your friend?

"Calabar."

Who's that?

"Calabar. You know? 22 Calabar. He used to be your friend."

Put it down. I'm on my way.

"Whatever."

dial tone.....




Where are you!?

"In my room... Come find me."

As I walk up the stairs, Bang

Nooooo!!!!!

Somethings happened,


I can feel it...,



I'm frozen with fear,



with distrust,



I hear people crying ,




I can't move;  




why can't I move,





I't's "that"


dream again ,



I'm repeating it,



But


why now



after all these Years,


I faced all but one of my fears,


I got to wake up some how...,



Get out of bed,



I wonder where all these nightmares

are coming from,






I'm so cold,


I feel so sleepy


but



I can't got back to sleep not now-


Not ever with those dreams..,


She's walking over to me


but for the life of me


I can't remember who she is?..



She look's like some one I know,


Someone close,


Whose that next to her....,

Hmm,

well


why are they talking so low,


Why can't I hear them?

---



OK



I must still be dreaming,


I need to find a way to wake myself up,


I must cuz this is ******* me off now,



I can't move ,



I want to see who else is here ,


why can't I sit up....


I'm stuck,

****


these blankets are so tight,


I got to get up cuz now their walking away-

HEYYY

Wait!!!!

Wait; who are you..,


What's ya name?


Why wont anyone ...


Answer Me?!


That Girl's coming again.....

I wonder who she  is?,


I can't believe it;


It's like looking in the mirror ,



Now that I got a good look at her,



But she can't be older ,


when I went to sleep

she was just a little girl..,


I really don't like this dream-

It's surreal & spooky!

Wait - -


Someone else is here


They're all talking ,


WAIT; What did He say,

I can't hear him...


**** their leaving again ..,


Whose this  - -   Old *** man.....,


Oh **** he's talking to me


how funny


I can't even hear him..,




Why is he covering me?..,



It's like a purplish silky lid..,



It's getting dark in here ,



**** I can't move ..,



What the Hell is this...........,


Darkness   ........


Oh MY GOD!!!!

Am I ?

Yes I ....


I'm



Dead?



AND



I'm in a ******* Coffin!?!

Always Me Ayeshah

Yes it helps
Your attraction
As I do have
But Brain
Is always the winner
I wouldn't
Wanna be anybody
Else
Heyyy

Down and down I go this aisle with cart Oh hi man how are you? I’m fine that’s ‘ight and you I’m good thx yeah for me there someth? Oh yeah this here and this one pink envelope? well that’s from you know oh yes that’s one well fine okay have a good day yeah bye and off I go again for me? Yeah this I do not like him I try to keep him off my sight and mind but smile nice shirt oh yeah? just ironed well bye-bye pretentious ***** and phony also this is **** I should of said that next time sure for sure ensure the screech is pleasant to lubricate forgot après this finished howdy-rowdy for me smth no pardon c’est fine go by there’s really nothing poor old creep for him man’ years he here and not one sheet that’s triste but oh again this cramp should aim for loo ma’am après vous those thighs in nylon wiggle-waggle just like Bloom I am that day today but winter tho’ though onward batches envelopes and stamps hiya my mate how miles per day come forth that’s heyyy that is the one I yeahyeahyeah dumbf nonono he’s just like I like you like me obnoxious clown to grab and off this floor should be enough to from this height his gray to smash to mash this one is fine to smash to mash oh yuck this almost got me shhhhh
I
M
F
A
L
L
I
N
F
A
S
S
S
S
T
H
E
Y
20
B
L
U
E
S
K
Y
14
S
H
I
M
­M
E
R
6
T
O
S
M
A
S
H
T
O
M
A
S
Thump

7/27/2015
Wildwood,NJ

It's as if the brine
of the water is something
I have never experience before:

stepping,dizzling,stumbling
into the path to my apartment
I am on the balcony at 2:

a drunk man yells
"heyyy whaddaya think  you doin?!?"
some great trespass either his
or against him

I beg for memory's forgiveness,
twisting my sweatersleeves
i spit out a pick of hair and

Narrow my eyes down some more.

I was buried in nostalgia today.
shrouded by the glimmering lights
walking along side you,
you said,
"Heyyy, this is not in your memory,
it is happening now,
all this is true!"

and I wished you would have picked different words;
cause you said the same ones
in my memory of you.

"I feel good
I smell good
I talk good
I make love good
Heyyy"-James Brown

I was dying
Last night,
Under the covers of my sheets.
The waves of hurt were crashing into me.
I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t breathe.

I called out to you, helpless,
“Please, save me, please!”
I cried for you, I cried for you.

“Heyy” - 10:17 PM

I cried for you, I cried for you.
I needed someone to lift me out of the sea,
To save me from my hurt,
To relieve me from the pain;
The pain of the crashes of the waves of everything
And nothing.

I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t breathe.
Where were you? Where the **** were you?
I needed you so badly,
I needed somebody, anybody.
All I needed was a “heyyy” “hii”, or even a funny cat GIF
Anything, anything to tell me that you were there,
That there was someone who would respond to my message at 10 PM
Someone who would hear my cries and serve as my anchor from this ocean of pain.
But no, nobody.
I was drowning,
I was dying.

I cried myself to sleep
Last night.

“Sorry” Too long after AM

Every
Single
Night
I am dying.
But I just can’t seem to ******* die.

Typing....
Hi.... (delete)
    Heyyy (delete)
      I miss you (delete)
  
Throws phone on bed
And let the words die inside
I quench the fire
I **** the feelings
With the messages I never sent