I don't know what I feel.
I'm not sure if i like you
I'm not sure about anything.

But i like the way we connect when we look eachother In the eyes for a few seconds , then suddenly turn around and act like we completley have nothing between us.

We say we have an attraction for eachother but if you ask me..I'm  probably the one to think about our old endless conversations on the phone.

I cant say I don't think about you a few times a day because I'd be lying If I said I didn't .

I wont neglect my attraction to you.
But please don't tell me you feel the same way my dearest Green Eyes, if your not going to put action into your sweet vulnerable words.

Don't leave me hanging on a thread..tell me what you feel and for once show it.

Why is it okay for someone to suddenly stop talking to you for a few months then come back with the most precious things to say and leave you all over again ?

That Dark Road,
That's What I'm On,
This Black Rose,
I'm Holding On,
I'm On The Edge Of I Need Love,
And **** It's Gone,
People Come & Go,
Just Go I'm Strong,
I'm Always Alone,
White Noise & Ghost,
Sippin From The Tip Of The Last Cup,
Ugh Another ****** Nose,
I Think I'm Right,
Tonight **** It Ya Right I'm Wrong,
**** It I'm Always Alone,
That's Why I'm Writing Songs,
Immortal Scriptures,
No Beginner,
I Crave Life,
So At Night,
After The Perfect Dinner,
A Beatuful Gypsy Doll,
Embraces This Sinner,
She Gripping My Shreaded Wings,
Her Angel Thighs  Feeding This Demon,
Precious When An Angel Scream,
I Caputre Visions,
Angle Dreams,
Tangle,
Then Untangle Things,
I Figured It Out ,
Figure It Now,
Good Luck ,
Like ****,
Figure it How,
Blood Bath,
Black Candle,
Oath & Cap,
Raven Pen ,
Ghost My Friends,
This Is My Repent,
Dark Ways Once Heaven Sent,
I'm A Fallen Angel,
Where Has Heaven Been,
Passionate Sad Women,
Is My Medicine,
If She Needs Help,
You Better Let Her In,
I Don't Give A **** How Cold,
You Need A Coat,
I'm Takking Of My Jacket ,
If Needed All My Clothes,
I've Been Beating Beatings That Ponder Whoa's,
I Know That I'm To Deep,
In All I Know,
The Blood That Leaks,
Down This Clogged Sink,
Has Sacred Stare,
A Strong Mean,
A Wicked Tone,
That's Beyond Words,
Beyond Me,
Feeling , Complete,
Then Completley , Incomplete,
I Feel Alive, Now I Wanna Die,
Inside I Scream ,
Only A Hug Can Save Me,
Well Maybe,
But Where Is She.... Valerie

i like to watch the cheetah running at such speed
chasing after prey so he can have a feed
as grace full as can be and fast as speed of light
a creature with such beauty brings me such delight
when  his meal has finished and filled his appetite
he  sleeps among the grass completley out of sight

Let peace be there in life
Let peace be a part of life
Peace when attained will give life an opportunity to bank upon an uncertian future in the present and over a period of time define the same,
if not completley, then at  least in part and part of it.

Let peace be there in life
Let peace be a part of life
Let peace occupy a definite place in life, even when it’s clear it’s not going to remain there forever and become permanent.

A little bit of disturbance not only breaks the silence of the moment in time, but it also affects the peace of mind leading to deviation, again which obviously is not the need of hour.

Finally it's peace of mind, which when attained will settle down the chaos and confusion of life over a period of time.

Dreams
Desire
Passion
Contentment and finally it’s peace of mind.

Restlessness of mind seeks peace for sure, since devoid of it was life in the past and also prior.
If silence is golden, which definitely it is,
then once when peace of mind is attained the value of silence will get enhanced because life is now moving more towards what is known as satisfaction.

Dreams
Desire
Passion
Contentment and finally it’s peace of mind.

Over a period of time it’s understood, agreed and accepted that time passes by quickly,
time slips out of hands,
what remains are dreams as they are,
as it is and as they were.

Dreams have got a place in life
Dreams are part of life
However, dreams play a very important role in shaping the future with regards to what is there in the present.
The only thing that needs to be remembered, then at that point in time is that dreams have got substance while imagination is more of what goes on in mind.

Dreams
Desire
Passion
Contentment and finally it’s peace of mind.

If something has changed,
then it’s the presence of the present moment in time in the present,
since the attention it has gained is much more than what is used to get prior.

Definitely odds have their own way of making there presence felt in life
Odds when overcomed change life, since experience gets enriched
In order to shape everything in the present in a better way expertise is put to test and in action.
As of now everything is not the same as it used to be in the past and as it was prior
Things have changed since odds are no longer a part of the way

Dreams
Desire
Passion
Contentment and finally it’s peace of mind.

Distinguished from the past,
defined in present,
the existence of the present moment in time in the present gives life the much needed meaning and substance,
devoid of which life was when it came across and against an odd and faced the same.

Strange are the ways of life
Strange seems life, but then this unique strange thing in life called “an odd”, gives life a new meaning and adds substance to life making it much more interesting.
Definitely odds are part of life and they have got a place in life, however, when odds are overcomed life gets a new way to look at the outside world.

Dreams
Desire
Passion
Contentment and finally it’s peace of mind.

Strange are the ways of life
Strange seems life, however, that’s life and life continues to go on along with the same.

Life continues
Life goes on
Life follows the present moment in time, which very soon will become a thing of past.
Life will then follow the next moment in time, which at that point in time will represent the moment in time.

Life goes on
Life continues
Life follows the same.

i thought i could handle
not being yours but when
trying to describe why i
feel the way i do i just
completley breakdown.

i tried describing your eyes
to someone who has never had the
beautiful chance to be in your vicinity and
i could barely get through to the
part of where i compare thy
eyes to an ocean after a
strong storm.

what should i do?
its easier now to be around you but
should i even try?
you've picked me up and brought out my
wings but can i really fly?

oh dear, please tell me because
i'll drown without you here.
im drowning in the ocean that is
you and im not sure if i should
cry out in fear.

maybe im better off in a
kiddie pool.

****.

Something very special is happening to the world right now.  I will do my best to describe it.
Not only are we nearing the peak of suffering, darkenss, and evil in the world, we are also
nearing a complete unfolding of the purest, truest, beauty, peace, and love that is greater
than humanity has ever experienced.  This is truely a cathartic time.  Savor it, treasure it, and learn from it.

On a personal level, since January 1st, 2015, I feel like my soul is on the brink of simulatenously bursting with
joy and love as well as sobbing in old hurts.  Sometimes when the pain and love in our hearts reaches a critical
level, a major emotional release is made and that is called a catharsis.  I have been riding along one giant,
prolonged catharsis since Jan 1st.  It is somewhat like a fantastic ****** that never ends.  How bad can that be?

The best part of my life right now is not knowing what will happen next; whom I will meet tomorrow; and what
crazy, amazing situation I will find myself in.  I have this unshakeable and deep feeling that 2015 will be a pivotal
year in my life.  It is like passing through the eye of a needle, and on the other side is the unventured, the unknowable,
the great mystery.  This is both a terror and also completley thrilling.  I sense that 2015 will be a year to remember
for humanity.  Whatever happens, will have some measurable mark on all of us.

So what do I do with this?

Enjoy it. :-)

We're so young we dont know better
So let us make our mistakes
You forget you too were young
And you too went through it all.

So now let us live it to the fullest
Let us dive into the unknown
Let us explore what we want to discover
Let us rupture and let us repair.

Leave us with the alcohol
Leave us with a joint
Leave us round the bonfire
Sharing our deepest secrets

Please dont use the word 'dissapointed'
Dont tell us that we're wrong
Let us live and breathe
How we wish and i swear we'll succeed.

We'll show you we're just fine
Maybe a little crazy and wild
Maybe completley insane
But let us do it our way.

Our way is by far the best.

Try it and you'll see.

In a tornado of flags and smudged faces
You carry a white rifle
It twists and slithers around your neck
Your torso
Your legs
Swift as a snake
You're a blur of grey and black
Barefoot and pale as dawn
As papery and long as a willow tree
Spinning and twirling
Graceful and strong
You dance amongst the women
But you're stronger than most men
Then in unision
You all fall in a heap on the floor
Legs twisted in your flags
Completley still
They eye of the storm has never been more beautiful

I started accepting
That is what you haven't
This is all what you have
I haven't experienced Mother's love
Hence...i don't understand
The Word Mother

I remember that crucial stage
Of my life
When i was suffering from
The worst time
Yes...I remember those days
She was behaving like an enemy
Rather than a mother
At that time...I need her
I was completley alone
I have cried each and every night
I need then only my mother
But it was not in my destiny
It is not in my destiny
Hence...i don't understand
The Word Mother

I have Mother...but not her love
Whenever ...i get a shove
My Mother doesn't hold me
I am supportless i.e i have not Mother's love
Hence...i don't understand
**The Word Mother

maybe it was your laugh
or maybe it was the way you always knew what to say
but maybe it was your deep brown eyes that made me melt.
or it could of been your soft hands always on me
maybe it was how you touched my mind before touching my body
and maybe it was the way you held me that made me know everything would be ok.
I really don't know what it is about you.
but I know one thing
I am completley in love with you and everything about you.

Walking through the sleep city
Brick buildings towering above me
Vines snaking along the walls

The cold wind clawing at my pale cheeks
Catching my long hair, tossing it out behind me
It sinks into the skin at the base of my neck
Shivers vibrating through my tired bones

Along the curve of my crimson lips
I breath in the fridged air, into my hallow flower lungs
Freezing me completley

Shoes echoing on the cobblestone walk
Passing small cafés
Young couples who smile and laugh
Serenading each other in soft voices
They are so inlove
Asolutley beautiful
Love
Romance
What ever it may be

Walking through the busy streets of life
Living each and every day
Feeling caught under the knife
Acting, looking, feeling a certain way
You did your best you say?
Your tried as hard as you could
But you failed at the end of the day
As everybody knew you would
Lay your head to rest poor soul
Close your eyes tonight
Tommorrow you'll achieve your goal
Tommorrow you'll win the fight
Another day has come, you strive to do
All the things they are asking of you
Pushing, pushing just to get by
put your head down, acting so shy
This day is almost over
You will soon be in your bed
Your battle for the day will be won
And you shal be left alone in your head
How many days can you carry on
How many fake smiles can you produce
Before your souls completley gone
Your heart cannot take the abuse
Stand outside yourself
Look back at the world you've created
Please, put your pride on the shelf
You've become everything you hated
All hope is not lost poor soul
Tommorrow dawns a new day
Climb out of this hole
And live your life your own way

Wake up tommorrow poor soul,
Wake up and take control.

We used to play
Pass the parcel
And we still do
But now we pass the bottle.

We used to play catch
And we still do,
But now we run
From our worries.

We used to play hide and seek
And we still do
But now we hide
From our fears.

We're playing the same games.
But we've completley changed the rules.

She's expected to drink
And she hasn't left a drop in the house
He's expected to leave
And he left the door swinging
They're expected to kiss
But he got her pregnant instead
You're expected to love me
But I think that's a story I read

And it's not true
Because I'm completley alone
In loving you

Palms sweaty
Legs weak
Fingers tremble
Feeling bleak

Eyes closed
Lungs tight
Can't breath
Won't fight

Heart racing
Completley hapless
Cold flashes
Eternal blackness

Behind the smile and behild the laugh,
the anguish that's felt never collapses.
Every corner and every chase ceases to exist in this sacred place.
Mind so bottled; heart completley filled, hoping and wishing for another life to build.

Can dogs remember?
Your scent lingers- so she stays.
Will not leave until every last whaft of wood and moss and musk has dissapated.
Can you imagine? What that feels like?
Waiting, holding to this eternal faith of your return.
Girl olfactory loves you.
Will not leave-  until you fade completley from the air.
She has the taste of you.
In the carpet, in the matress, in the blanket, in the woodwork, blood-hound loves you.
In the meantime,
she's been getting to love the stink of me too.
Underfoot. Under-bed. Waiting, snapping, snarling,
Tumness.
Belly rubs and train-whistle cries.
No joke. No story.
The Days of Our Lives.
Locked in tiny tin trailers which now contain the wild beast.
Thank God for super glue and how Justin fixed that door.
Now scratching backdoors, bent and made of cardboard,
I work in my toxic office
for a leg up and a way out. A key to that locked door.
And of course the children ask for our story and wonder where you've gone.
So I tell them
you've been hit by a train.

grannys on her laptop on it all day long
doing other things.  to her completley wrong.
playing games all day till it time for bed
out comes the phone plays with that instead

then when she wakes up laptop it is turned on
another day to play till the day as gone
maybe she s a teen there inside her mind
other things to do they get left behind