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Yenson Jun 2022
The poor girl said
I so sorry, but I'm afraid they may turn against me, please understand

The near brownies said
please forgive, they will start picking on us if we don't go along and do as ordered

The Preachers says
we have to be as them, we are cultists and already marginalized, if we didn't they'll isolate us more and it helps our recruitment

The weak and insecure said
this is a no brainer mate
for once we get the opportunity to feel relevant and play the fool without the usual disapprovals

The reluctant ones say
we feel oppressed and bad but they are coercing us daily and we just don't have a choice

So their moral compass compromised, their free-will imprisoned
their integrity abused and disrespected, their brains washed, their dignity rubbished, their minds poisoned and internally they are stressed, uncomfortable and feel enslaved. They have been dehumanized because their Narcissistic masters decides so...







Anyone who remembers watching the Wizard of Oz as a child will probably remember how horrifying the Wicked Witch of the West’s flying monkeys were. These monkeys were sent by the witch to do her ***** work, and the phrase has since become synonymous with people who end up doing the ***** work of a narcissist.

Flying monkeys get caught up in a narcissist’s plan — often to damage the life of another person. The narcissist may use their flying monkeys as piggy in the middle, carrying information from party to party. The flying monkey may use gaslighting tactics, open aggression, and guilt-tripping in order to make another person feel bad and weak, whilst shoring up the narcissist. And they’re often involved in pleading the case of the narcissist. Narcissists love having flying monkey, as it makes them feel important and means they can appear to be above the people below them who are caught up in the messy parts of the drama.

Some of the reasons people become flying monkeys include:

Self-preservation and protection.
Forming an alliance with the person perceived as like us or our organisation is one reason people adopt this role. Telling tales, spreading misinformation, and using gaslighting techniques against anyone who dares to question the narcissist might just mean you get to keep your job and don’t find yourself on the receiving end of narcissistic rage.

Rescuing the narcissistic "victim."
If you tend to fall into a rescuing role, you may feel compelled to jump to the defence of the narcissist who blames everyone and everything for whatever is going wrong in their life. Sticking up for the narcissist meets your inbuilt need to feel valued and needed because of your rescuer role.

A loss of sense of self.
Some flying monkeys are so browbeaten by the narcissist that they have far less capacity than otherwise might be expected when it comes to knowing right from wrong. They may have experienced years of emotional abuse at the hands of the narcissist and have lost a sense of self and independent decision-making along the way.

Loving the drama.
Some flying monkeys really thrive on the drama. When you’re involved with a narcissist, it’s almost inevitable that you’ll be involved in a few dramas along the way. What can beat the adrenaline of being caught up in lies, secrecy, and deception?

Being a narcissist.
Flying monkeys often have strong narcissistic traits themselves, including a desire for attention, a lack of empathy, and a desire to bully and manipulate others. They may be involved in a work, or other situation in which they know that their best opportunity to fulfill their narcissistic desires comes from allying themselves with a more powerful narcissists.

Being used by a narcissist to take care of some of the least desirable aspects of their business is always going to place you in a compromised, stressful environment and you should ensure that you have the appropriate support in place when you choose to change your role.
Shivani Lalan Mar 2015
And lights.

She looked a little pale
In the yellow light.
The spots had been
Changed to white.
And when the white
Couldn't hide her pallor,
She asked the makeup
To put on a brighter colour.
They didn't ask if she had eaten.
They tried once,
Came back browbeaten.
"Diet only for ma'am"
Her abdomen perfectly satisfied;
Her soul craving for more.

And camera.

The perfect shot
Ended with a sweeping glance
Across the set
At her hero all decked
In the knightly splendour.
She was a princess whom
He saved from a dragon.
Little did anyone know
That after a day's worth
Of angry cameras panning
Her face and scrutinising her life,
She needed saving
Mostly from herself.

And action.*

This time, a thriller.
She walks down the corridor set
- Director's thumbs-up,
To hunt down the culprit
Who snatched her family.
She gives the perfect action sequence,
Complete with blood trickles.
"An award winner, surely."
She is done with the shoot
And heads home, her van.
Someone is waiting.
He had been waiting since she left
Him that summer.
Waiting for an excuse, at first.
Then acceptance.
Then forgiveness.
She gave it her best performance,
But could not fake the relief
When he approached with an apology
And a gun.
In my series of pieces based on social problems, this is a poem about the life an actress battling something.... something that you can percieve in whichever manner you want to.
Yenson Oct 2018
Please be aware, the arrogance of a Burglar
that breaks into your home and steals your
property is permissible

Please carefully note that the arrogance of a stinking bully
that oppresses you and wants to cower you down
is permissible

Please take into consideration that the arrogance of a gang
that terrorizes and bullies is permissible

Please bear in mind the arrogance of liars, twisters, slanderers
fraudsters and defamers is permissible

Please remember the arrogance of fringe lunatics to unjustly
condemn and victimize and bring chaos and destruction
to an innocent human is permissible

Please keep in your appraisals the arrogance of a misled majority
to impose, mob, obstruct, harass and hound is democracy
in action and is permissible

Please note that the arrogance and ignorance of offensively discriminating against any foreigner or minority member is permissible

Please note to work hard and earn an honest living is Arrogant
Please know to stand up to criminal bullies is Arrogant
Please know to stand up to stinking bullies is Arrogant
Please know to speak up for yourself is Arrogant

Please note to refuse to be cowered by thieves is Arrogant
Please know to refuse to be browbeaten is Arrogant
Please know to refuse to have your confidence drained is Arrogant
Please know to stand up to adversity is Arrogance
Please know to not be weak and Feeble under pressure is Arrogance
Please know to have self respect and be self assured is Arrogant
Please know to possess your own mind is Arrogance
Please know to offer as much as a squeak when being unfairly and unjustly treated is Arrogance

Above all please know that we invented the English Language and have the sole knowledge as to what constitutes Arrogance, whether you like it or not, and if you protest about that, you are ****** guilty of Arrogance...my friend!

Please be strictly conscious that Arrogance is weakness, mental weakness. Falling to the desires of our darker instincts and
succumbing to conceit and smugness.

Please pay particular attention to the salient fact that Arrogance
portraits a total lack of human decency towards other humans
Know that when arrogance ceases humanity ascends.
And we we all live in a lovely perceptibly white and wonderful world
Please note that the last two stanzas acknowledges extracts by Guru Hollinngs, from " How Mr Westerner Ruled The World " By the esteemed New-age Philosopher and Poet, Guru G J. Hollinngs aka The bearded Guru of Disingenuous Hogwash and Spinner supreme of Shyster Twister Goonery.
Jedd Ong Dec 2013
The trot of kalesas,
Temple shack stores and
Hastily scrawled calligraphy—

Fruit cartons
And rice sacks
That litter
The clay streets
Itching to emerge from
Asphalt skin—

Browbeaten Angkongs shivering
In the December chill,
Decked in hawaiian shirts
And worn sandals—

Dirt-tinged air
Which goes down my throat
About as smooth as grandpa's beer—

Bitter but clean,
Swelling my chest with pride—

It tastes like home.
I've been meaning to write about Sto. Cristo for a while. It's where I grew up, see. It isn't perfect, but home has always been one of those places that's hardest to really capture. It's the farthest I've gone so far.
Julian Delia Aug 2018
The sound of silence.
Peace after violence.

A mother’s browbeaten servitude.
A child’s coerced gratitude.

The world’s most prosperous nations.
Architects of the most dangerous machinations.

Economies like never before;
A life that still leaves you wanting more.

The embezzlement of public finances.
The settlement of a case’s nuances.

Two colluding entities declaring each other free of ******;
With ease, starving YOUR wallet until YOU are down on your knees.

The oath: ‘to protect and serve.’
The reality? ‘To suspect and unnerve.’

A cartel that’s in charge of the guns;
Like leaving a brothel in the hands of Huns.

The lie of representation in government.
The election, expectation of endowment.

Spending your life washing your master’s feet,
Then somehow being surprised by their trickery and deceit.

The mistake of prioritising convenience.
The finalising of our own, eventual obsolescence.

We are a species that will die
Clueless of our role in it, desperately asking ‘why?’
When it’s way too late.
Trying on a new style in terms of venting vexation.
Oskar Erikson Oct 2020
body like a Hoplite,
raised from the dust to lay the land-
sent armed
ashen spear and heart,
trunks of armour clad legs
growing into the clay coloured Earth
rooted.

these lyre-heartstrings taut with longing.
to see
a browbeaten Myrmidon,
in daylight.

watch, as the breath of Zeus escapes
Grecian chests,
concave with muscle
Olympus itself exists within those crevices.

i lay offerings,
ambrosia soaked spoken word
at the under-flesh of your calf
laying beside myself
in hope the whispers bestowed to you from the Fates
on the eve of Troy
mean less with your lips, pressed to wine, against mine.
kgl Aug 2013
you listen but you never hear
sounds reverberate - distorted
around your confused and browbeaten brain
as you try desperately to face the mornings
as you recklessly ignore the pain

you're alive but you never live
your heartbeat is merely a mechanism
clinical and cold you lie like a statue
waiting for time to disintegrate you
as you try to fade away

you talk but you never speak
meaningless echoes of a world inside your head
they'll never understand you
they'll tell you to go on living but
for all intents and purposes


*you're already dead.
NeroameeAlucard Jan 2017
The hardest people to love arent just those who have had their hearts broken
Or worse their innocence stolen
More than that it's those people who dont have confidence after being shot down so much
Getting browbeaten and your bravado shattered is a pretty heady crutch
Being crushed by insecurities makes one difficult to accept someone's affections, you see

Now there's also those afraid of commitment,
Although if you asked them they're scared to admit it
Deep down they still harbor resentment
But you have to let that ship sail on to where it's supposed to go, even if it isnt easy to watch the water carry it away
Ellis Reyes Apr 2017
In a moment, the news.
Until then, we'll turn to the nation's capitol and have a word with...
Condescending self-important motormouths
Narcissistic bloviating gas bags
Useless over-coiffed talking heads
Disingenuous glad-handing power seekers
Smarmy bootlicking Ivy League backstabbers
Government funded flatulating wind turbines
Spit shined Armani wearing handout seekers
Grudge holding influential bureaucratic petty tyrants
Overworked browbeaten ladder climbers
And, if we can find them, a few nonpolitical working Americans.
Hurble B Burble Apr 2017
B
Bow legged ******* boaters bombard a busking Baltic with berzerk bands of bonafide belligerence. Bravely he bolsters a border of boulders. "Begone brigands, before I bust your bulkheads!" Feeling browbeaten and bullied the ******* beat for a buffet. The Baltic beaming with brashness boasts of his burdensome backbone.
Najwa Kareem Nov 2023
Raise our God consciousness
Raise our “Allah is greater than.” “Allah is more important than.” “Allah is more significant.”
Raise our minds
Raise our confidence
Raise our love for the oppressed
Raise our voices
Raise our hands
Raise our prayers
Raise our grassroots efforts…talking to ordinary people
Raise our signs
Raise our slogans
Raise our bravery
Raise our solidarity
Raise our red, black, white, and green
Raise our love and our cries for our human brothers and sisters
Raise our commitment to the martyrs
Raise our commitment to the grieving families
Raise the greed out of them
Raise the racist out of them
Raise the arrogance out of them
Raise the Netanyahu caricature devil looking ears out of them
Raise the butchers out of them
Raise the terrorists out of them
Raise the grotesque torturers out of them
Raise the chumps out of them
Raise the monsters out of them
Raise the two-facedness out of them
Raise the facade out of them
Raise the raids out of them
Raise the bomb strikes out of them
Raise the nuclear weapons out of them
Raise the baby, children, women, and men murderers out of them
Raise the assassinators of grandmothers, grandfathers, mothers, fathers, daughters, sons, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, wives, husbands, and more out of them
RAISE THE VICTIMIZED, TYRANNIZED, HEGEMONIZED, BROWBEATEN, DOWNTRODDEN, MASSACRED, WE WILL NOT GIVE UP, PALESTINIANS’ FREEDOM OUT OF THEM

by: Najwa Kareem
The writing of this poem on 11/6/23 was inspired by the passion and unity of the people protesting in London (Trafalgar Square) for an immediate ceasefire in Palestine (GAZA) over the weekend.
Oracle of delphi
for meager tithe
as per usual end
of year shibboleth,
and thus this hoop
fully ville explain,
the substance and pith
viz, where new

years eve hullabaloo,
without relevance comprising search
(boot not captcha) of myth
huckle Harris beast
purported relation of kin and kith,
rumored to inhabit
vicinity of Vermouth Avenue and fifth.

Hence, the follow
wing conjecture made
without axe sing myself why,
nonetheless alluding to some
anonymous kvetcher in the vye

maybe even reef fur
ring to yours
truly, or hypothetical stranger upbye
the outer limits of twilight zone,
unseen, whose extrasensory

divinity cain espy
telescopic ability insightful
able to see tie
knee imperceptible electronic bi
nary nano piercing

bits racing like a fly
ling infinitesimal Karamazov
brother, thru invisible
ethereal mist keen as a tigereye
that seemingly never blinks

despite vision hampered by
hordeolum, more commonly
known as stye
inducing inflammation i.e.
red tender bump

at the edge of well nigh
browbeaten eyelid, hence redeye,
perhaps dissimilar, yet
equally painful as pinkeye,

which conjunctivitis
preferable well nigh,
then slogging thru gobbledygook
thankfully, this harmless wordsmith
bids thee goodbye.
I began crafting the following words
late morning eating me whey and curds
never able (though quite willing) ugh
for constipated excretory system to...
function optimally and make turds.

In highland manor convalescent home
ideal to buzzfeed subconscious with a
long catnap until... free animal equality
i.e. meaning declaration of indepence
encompassing all creatures great and

small, whereby each breathing, living,
cohabiting with kvetching **** or
lesbian sapien as well other organisms
gifted to roam across terra firma all
their natural unfettered existence.

Damp and cold spring weather purr fect fur mice elf
when yours truly (me oh), a stray cat in previous life,
with cheesy mouselike timidity, stoutly readily avow
outsize feline family members, experienced powwow
among fodder, when boxed in corner, I litter lee mutter
against feral general instinctual lionized in mane know

wing, (albeit audacious, ferocious, vicious...) tigress
calling me hey you Eufrates cat, chicken sh*t, getting
browbeaten meekly accepting, I brought humiliation
bowing passively giving up feebly accepting furry us
kickstarting, ripsnorting, urinating madding crowd,
nor standing proudly on all faux pas inept descience

non verbally communicated threats how sissyfuss me
best be declawed locked & linkedin and with lucky dog
effeminate mystique (er... rather mistake) born as runt
plainly evincing, categorically jackknifing, trending
embarrassing brother and sister near kin courtesy mine
unpardonable finicky behavior catnip never endowed

deserved more egregious than petty file within glorious
historical annals regarding Felis Domesticus, therefore
deeming unacceptable "fake catatonic" diagnosis allow
wing no holds barred, all barred holes la cage aux folles
assignation, designation, integration... imprisoned with

aforementioned outcast species, and/or repurposed cow
feed since unanimous conclusion no snowball chance
in hell (low kitties) decreed by none other than Morris
nsync with animated commercial starring Sylvester both
though ostracized caving into rich money deals cash cow
role their saving Grace (and private Ryan) neither well

received (more so treated) outkast within immediate family
nevertheless everywhere taxidermists experienced affection
despite catalepsis poised to strike stance, and highbrow
folks entombed themselves with selfies and roaring whisk
herd manner of nine kampf existences exemplified heyday

courtesy of each special fearless cate, whose track record
boasted untold unfortunate victims comprising killing
fields, thus wimpy creature regarding chance Matthew
Scott Harris never honored as dignified compared to how
his brethren and cistern forever appraised with to meow,

prey tell savoring flesh as tender vittles kitty chow chow,
which genetic fate automatically cost first of nine lives
(mine) lovely bones feeble, who wanted nothing more
than to curl himself in a ball and sleep blissfully,
eternally and merrily dreaming about Lady and *****
poe' wit out making sense and sensibility doth lean.
Kassiani Nov 2022
The moment you walked through my door
I understood I'd been a woman
Starved
A creature of wildflowers and sunshine
Browbeaten into icy darkness
Until you reminded me of the
Hunger
That had been roaring beneath the surface

The aching emptiness of it
Tore right through me
And as we fell into step
Could you see it on my face?
As we spoke into the freezing wind
Unleashing the wild
Thrumming
In my veins
Could you hear it in my voice?
Could you hear the unspoken wishes
Or just the raw
Ache
Of the years that stretched taut between us?

I've been walking in the sunshine
And I'm burning with it now
All the things
I wouldn't let myself feel
The gnawing that threatened me
Every time I closed my eyes
The demanding hunger that will no longer
Be caged
The skittering of my foolish
Heart
Always so eager
Always brimming and leaping and crying out for
More
Because I have never once been able to do something halfway
No matter how many times
I nearly lose myself

I'll offer you this frenzied fire
And hope you meet me where I am
Hope you hear the desperate roaring
And roar right back
Hope you see the starving creature beneath the bravado
And offer
Fire
Of your own
11/25/2022
Andrew Rueter Mar 2020
White *****, red spikes,
flight stalled, death blight,
tight walls, bed bites,
night falls, headlights
burn in my brain
I learn from the pain
and my burdensome shame
that this quarantine game
feels horribly same
to life in my lane.

Everyone wears masks
everything is sanitized
I have one simple task
and it’s my ****** demise
while the planet cries
I stand aside
infantilized.

I hide in my holler
counting my dollars
counting on scholars
to make me taller
but for each one that builds me up
there are three to cut me down
so I’ll drink from their cup
and hand them their crown.

If I go outside I’m browbeaten
but I feel boxed in
from the callous crowds’ treatment
pulling my **** skin
promising it’s not spin
until their battlebot wins
then their cattle **** grin
spreads like coronavirus kin.

So I sit here homicidal
inside my domicile
thinking God is vile
for this awful trial
that some call a pandemic
but it seems like my existence
where I look for a grand medic
but only find social distance.
Katie May 5
anne sexton wrote love letters to my soul
long before i was conceived.
i think she knew the ways, all the ways, in which i'd suffer, before i did.
because it's a tale as old as time; you profit off my soft heart
and i consider death, always, as the solution.

my mother suffered in the same way,

                    as did hers, as did hers,

and hers, and the anger has nowhere to go but in to our marrow
to exist long aftet we don't.

we birth it in new girls, beautiful new girls who are worth more than the currency
of how they can serve others.

i wanted to be different, i really did, anne.
the nuance of your long nights and painful days was not lost on me.
painted a temple in the language of supressed women
for me to see-
split at the ventricle to become the mother, the daughter, the *** goddess, the poor browbeaten housewife.

and all i do is crane my neck and admire it all, eave to eave.
Across heavy
Raven swept skies
My browbeaten footsteps
Wind check my voyage
Land locks your eternal.

Now silken angels wings glide
Silently into amber mornings
I linger close to the shore
A fool lost in paradise
His beacon arched against the wind
And with drums of lovers beating
I am swept away on the tide.
With a middle name as "Flag this Scapegoat,"
I best not be surprised bullied from cutthroat
villains (supposedly kind hearted facilitators/
moderators, sans Facebook administrators, but
woe **** me hyperbole 4 lite dramatic affect),

mine psyche stung, when months after months
no incidents of lamentable discrimination did
I experience until...early this last week in Feb.
rue weary - BAM, many poems dispatched to
various and sundry Facebook poetry groups in

das scrim min hit lee suddenly generated host
till lit tee (within me every fiber and sinew) re-
guarding justifiable explanation necessitating
why (albeit vaguely worded electronic message),
yours truly did not comply with stipulations,

when no objectionable outburst could be linked
in with contents mainly implicating myself as
this doubting Thomas (foolhardy fella) rarely
loosed, lobbed, launched brickbats against no
one within madding crowd, hence exert at tent

heaven esse, when choosing my words, a shock
sparked anger upon a deluge of unexpected (the
equivalent of slap on the face) without warning
to address any unacceptable issue, which ready
corrections this mindful scribe would attend, no

questions asked, then methought an opportunity
presented itself to express displeasure, whether
warm reception ala royal carpet treatment took
place even if I brought a ratty old Scottish mat),
thus the mere exercise to expunge pent up anger

(electronically) automatically, excellently, and
immediately reduced agitation, an opportunity
to modify my behavior since pathetic unhealthy
modus operandi earlier during mein kampf, the
necessity to free emotions as a youngster beak

came internalized, whereat cumulative instances
when browbeaten, effectively - indiscriminately
needled, taunted, et cetera found me to swallow
indignities against mine person to communicate
without resorting to violent threat, which would
ratchet up a minor fracas into a major altercation.
Jim Apr 2021
I’ll do the thing…
For so long resistance
But ill do it now, with no hesitating
What’s changed?
Once lush in joy's abundance
The time has come, I’ve succumbed
Remember the blue, the warmth, the sea…
Remember the feel… remember to feel
Remember so many things
But, the time has come wistfully
It's not age, a browbeaten cultural thing, or some other of today's absurdities
Maybe Its entropy
but what’s changed is that it's trash day and it needs to be empty.
So, I'll do the thing
S Aug 2021
Stead he, once aloft high mountains
the ravine bellowed upon tides unsung,
sought lands unbeknownst to him
far across oceans as daffodils chirped
to be still whilst robins burned
and hound the tasteless nectar
ripped asunder underneath the spiral shelled slimy chained beasts ...

Once it was that everlasting agony
could not fulfill perfunctory oaths whiche'r
sunken tribe prided upon,
the chieftain adorned in his garland of skulls
satiated his pains within lofts of fire.
Sparks clouded the presumptuous begat holy water
and knives wound heretofore hate ridden bellies,
carved with rusted blades and bent iron
With each bell rung, a million epochs tumbled.
and Thus hovered the pledgion, crying hoofs and browbeaten droughts
in all splendor and prose !
Giant trees stood before him
reproaching the presence of bygone feet
loud was the rustle and harsh were the uncurling leaves
to be withered away by blackened seeds.

In halted symphonies did cries of woe recede before
hate blurred lines that fear devised,
and pride begrudged asunder, crones of fruitless endeavour
towards sunken cloth and forsaken joys;
Instinct upon reach lay before he
"Whereupon this glance is my whittled bride
she who prattles about in surreality ?"
the silence followed the swift tail wind and met the brittle spear
****** herein, louting jaundiced rendezvous and accoutrements winked into
by lonely hearts shrouded in frivolous tones of mystery.
But falter not did he,
for men do seldom bathe in the harness of failure
rather than crows mimic the nests of sparrows
so that every twitch lauded and immortality spanned by darkened visages
cawed into the blood, hitherto plucked in tarry reeds;
He came upon a fork
and wondered aloud "why is there but a nested abandon 'ere -
soaked fragrance and ridicule greets but the seldom few
who dare challenge the beast that lay within;
wary of unwoken lust bound in shiny drudgery,
be it ignorance that compels the starving
that voyages sown upon tapestries raw,
could take shape in weary eyes
and nascent tears of milk,flood the bow
yet unstruck by ignoble appetites of unladen treachery
while lurked prey lament the sharpened
sow of her majesty's trumpet ground in dust through
riveting songs of intertwined floods
adorned in destiny and swindled by fate !"

"Now look here, to the west" , the voice cried
for riches to be held in weight vanished the annals writ within
"Cry to me the sorrows to be laden
by growing tendons and grudges herein.
In these pangs of misery do I dream of the morrow,
of countless sunlights upon the flesh of misery
and wings that glide amidst tenuous storms",
For neither did mountain nor river below
do little to fasten a shade of warmth and passionate sin,
halt either stride or furrow
With which giants leaped across corpses of devils
and men scribed souls towards glimpses of voluptuous grins.
"Lend but an ear, to the magical east,
at laughter glowing and talons lauded
with unsung whispers raked in sun belied rot,
and sagely jests upon magisterial gods"

Thus ends his journey to fallowed ravines,
bound in knowledge and in blood,
O Men, Speak no more of his glorious persona!
As mercy beckons for grace to begin
and with fallen stupor groweth wisdom
to be perched upon desire unfulfilled but lulled into unity,
As twilight echoes through dawn like rumbling snow capped peaks
and the orange night succumbs to starlight with fateful longing
So does he peruse the forsaken trail
forevermore, and at ever last.
Outward slovenly appearance bespeaks volumes
wordsworth their weight in gold
(exhumed from the pith
of these lovely bones -
beclothed with mottled skin)
presages afterlife of hellish horror
(think Dante's inferno),
nevertheless a respite from earthly torture
wracking mein kampf since conception.

I lived without great expectations
diploid on an impossible mission
set in motion courtesy
triggered pleasure zones,
when natural propensity toward mortality
yielded mutual intense
or paroxysmal excitement
after unbridled love making
between then young parents of mine
approximately circa early/mid April
nineteen hundred and fifty eight.

Begot upon initial cleavage of two gametes
genetic fate decreed upon yours truly,
when nine months later a scrawny boy
traversed thru the birth canal uneventfully
into the hands of waiting obstetrician.

Mother placed me near her *****,
where I busted thru ample cleavage
nursed courtesy milk of human kindness
until she became high and dry
pacified scraggly baby,
who screamed at the top of his little lungs
possibly linked to submucous palate
split uvula - diagnosed years later
by specialist at Lancaster Cleft palate clinic.

Severe nasality as Aladdin in grade school
linkedin with extreme introvertedness
grist for the role as scapegoat
bully me pronounced
major inferiority complex prevailed.

Suicidal ideation throve
as unhealthy psychological bumper crop:
I cared not a whit for mine body, mind, and soul
negligent hygienic habits - unkempt appearance
abhorred cleanliness, greaseball outlier
videlicet witnessed infrequent visits
to bathing or showering facilities
let hair grow long and ratty, and shaggy
passive aggressive stance
toward family of origin members
sought refuge in mine bedroom
remained metaphorically hermetically sealed
until emerging adulthood
entrenched, fixated, and glued
to aforementioned behavioral traits.

Challenged, piqued, and
tested and tried patience of parents
passed their threshold of tolerance.

Overstayed welcome at 324 Level Road
at the receiving end of hollow ultimatums
browbeaten courtesy damning epithets
fueled glowering hatred, issuing kickass
brickbats, out the mouths of mommy dearest or
papa, silently internalized their vicious wrath.

Smoldering rage within me tamped down
as brilliant comeuppance
did not visit mother on her deathbed,
nevertheless wept profusely
while wailing "I love you" over the telephone,
and every May fourth -
since two thousand and five
crafted commemorative poems,
she always asked
for written acknowledgement
at the least remembering her birthday -
November thirteenth -
from second born and singular son.

No escape from
being called oppressive scatological names,
neither at home nor at school,
and including riding the bus
brutal, short and nasty invectives
assaulted my sensitive eardrums
of course with futility
impossible mission to deflect
blacked banal barbs,
whether besieging me

from so called wonderful,
albeit infuriated parents
continually wounding mine ego,
which pride of self never robust
subsequently such regular
(unleaded) cruelty outsourced to every ogre
witnessed an aggrieved boy
silently pained courtesy
whiplash of words accosting consciousness
submissively accepting battering

haranguing, poisoning, stinging
standing stockstill
forbearance vetting psyche,
the tragedy exhibited
by stoic facade and charade
generating absolute zero responsiveness
from an introverted
anxiety plagued youngster,
who grew up emotionally,
physically and spiritually stunted
scratching out pathetic poetry.

— The End —