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hand slaps shoulder knee rhythmically that’s called hamming the bone sitting on a street curb singing making up lyrics i got a transitor sister loves cossack named jake he rides Cherokee chopper all he’s ever known is hate he’s going down underground where a man can be a man wrestle alligators live off the land ebb flow i don’t know racing chasing hair-pin turning at 150 miles per hour downshift to 3rd spread the word sweet sour naked flower touching skin deep within defies all sin with a grin speed speed speed all i need i’m getting off coming on you tawny scrawny bow-legged pigeon-toed knock-kneed Don Juan Ponce de Leon Aly Khan all wrapped up into one going to have ******* good time good time tonight i feel like an orphan mom and dad seem so far away tonight i feel like an orphan you make me feel this way hand slaps shoulder knee rhythmically hand bone hand bone

Odyseuss drifts job to job construction worker office assistant waiter whatever he does not understand how road to recognition works continues showing portfolio to art dealers but they react indifferently he does not know how to attain notice in art world begins to suspect there is no god watching over souls instead he imagines infinite force juggling light darkness creation destruction love hate Mom and Dad insist he can earn respectable income if only he will learn commodity futures like cousin Chris Mom says you can work down at the exchange and paint on the side a part of Odysseus wants desperately to please his parents he considers perhaps Mom is right for the time being maybe build up nest egg it seems like sensible plan he wonders why Dad and Mom never speak about money how to save manage they treat the subject as forbidden topic Odysseus has no idea what Dad or Mom earn or investment strategies Odysseus is about to make serious mistake the decision to get job working at commodity exchange needs deeper examination why is he giving in to his parents what attracts him to commodities trading is it Chris’s achievement and the money? does Odysseus honestly see himself as a winning trader or does it simply look like big party with lots of rich men pretty young girls is that where he wants to be why is he giving up on his dream to be a great artist does it seem too impossible to reach who makes him think that? is he going to give up on his true self? he halfheartedly follows his parent’s advice begins working as runner at Chicago Mercantile Exchange several friends including Calexpress disloyalty for entering straight world commodity markets are not exactly straight in 1978 clearing firms pay adequately hours are 8 AM to 2 PM over course of next 6 months Odysseus runs orders out to various trading pits cousin Chris rarely acknowledges Odysseus maybe Chris feels need to protect his image of success perhaps in front of his business associates Chris is embarrassed by Odysseus’s menial rank and goof-off attitude maybe Chris senses what a terrible mistake Odysseus has made

Chicago suffers harsh winter in February Roman Polanski skips bail in California flees to France in April President Carter postpones production of neutron bomb which kills people with radiation leaving buildings intact in October Yankees win World Series defeating Dodgers in November Jim Jones leads mass-****** suicide killing 918 people in Jonestown Guyana in December in San Francisco Dianne Feinstein succeeds murdered Mayor George Moscone in Chicago John Wayne Gacy is arrested

darkness descends upon Odysseus his heart is not into commodity business more accurately he hates it he loathes battleship gray color of greed envy he resents prevailing overcast of misogyny he meets many pretty girls yet most of them are only interested in catching a trader it is rumored numerous high rolling traders hire young girls for sole purpose of morning ******* remainder of day girls are free to mingle run trivial errands commodity traders typically trash females it is primitive hierarchy Odysseus bounces from one clearing firm to another then moves to Chicago Options Exchange then Chicago Board of Trade on foyer wall just outside trading floor hangs bronze plaque commemorating all men who served in World War 2 Uncle Karl’s name is on that plaque Daddy Pat bought his son seat hoping to set him up after war Uncle Karl’s new wife wanted to break away from Chicago persuaded him to sell seat move to California Uncle Karl bought car wash outside Los Angeles with Daddy Pat’s support Mom and Dad encourage assure Odysseus commodities business is right choice they promise to buy him full seat on exchange if he continues to learn markets they feel certain he can be saved from his artistic notions the markets are soaring in profits cousin Chris is riding waves a number of Chris’s friends are sons of parents who belong to same clubs dine at same restaurants as Mom and Dad Odysseus is not alpha-male like Chris Odysseus is a dreamer painter poet writer explorer experimenter unlike Chris who has connections Odysseus starts out as runner then gets job holding deck for yuppie brokers in Treasury Dollar trading pit Odysseus holds buy orders between index and middle fingers sell orders in last 2 fingers arranged by time stamp price size in other hand holds nervous pencil he stands step below boss in circular pit in room size of football field full of raised pits everything is traded cattle hogs pork bellies all currencies gold numbers flash change instantaneously in columns on three high walls fourth wall is glass with seats behind for spectators thousands of people rush around delivering orders on telephones flashing hand signals shouting offers quantities every moment every day calls come in frantically from all around world space is organized chaos sometimes not so organized fortunes switch hands in nano-seconds it is global fiscal battleground rallies to up side or breaks to down side send room into hollering pushing shoving hysteria central banks financial institutions kingpin mobsters with political clout daring entrepreneurs old thieves suburban rich kids beautiful people pretty young females abound big guns **** in same air stand next to low-ranking runners everyone flirts sweats sneezes knows inside they are each expendable Odysseus is spellbound by sheer force magnitude he feels immaterial only grip is his success with girls it is not conscious talent he grins girls grin back Chris’s trader friends recognize Odysseus’s ability they push him to introduce girls to them it is way for Odysseus to level playing field he has no money or high opinion of himself he simply knows how to hook up with girls

1979 January Steelers defeat Cowboys at Super Bowl Brenda Ann Spencer kills 2 faculty wounds 8 students responds to incident “i don't like Mondays” in February Khomeini seizes power in Iran in March Voyager space-probe photographs Jupiter’s rings a nuclear power plant accident occurs at Three Mile Island Pennsylvania in May Margaret Thatcher is elected Prime Minister in England in Chicago American Airlines flight 191 crashes killing 273 people in November Iran hostage crisis begins 90 hostages 53 of whom are American in December Soviet Union invades Afghanistan 1980 in November Ronald Reagan defeats Jimmy Carter one year since Iran hostage crisis began

he meets good-looking younger girl named Monica on subway heading home from work he has seen her running orders on trading floor she is tall slender with long dark brown hair in ponytail pointed nose wide mouth innocent face she confides her estranged father is famous Chicago mobster Odysseus recognizes his name they talk about how much they dislike markets arrant disparity of wealth between traders and themselves Odysseus says i hate feeling of being so disposable worthless Monica replies yeah me too he tells her if i was a girl i’d ******* myself to several handsome generous traders Monica acknowledges that’s an interesting idea but who? how? which traders? do you know? he answers yeah i know exactly who and how Monica says if you’re serious i’m in i have a girlfriend named Larissa who might also be interested i’ll call Larissa tonight following day Monica approaches Odysseus at work agrees to meet at his place after markets close that afternoon Monica and Larissa show up eager to learn more about Odysseus’s scheme Larissa is petite built like a gymnast giggly light brown hair younger than Monica he lays it all out for them cousin Chris and his buddies the money ******* both girls are quite lovely he suggests they rehearse with him he will coach them on situations settings techniques girls consent for 4 weeks every afternoon they meet at Odysseus’s place get naked play out different scenarios he shows girls how to pose demure at first then display themselves skillfully fingers delicately pulling open ***** spreading wide apart buns working hidden muscles he directs each to take up numerous positions tasks techniques then has them switch places he teaches them timing starting slow gradually building up rhythms stirring into passionate frenzy having two mouths four hands creates novel sets of possibilities one girl attends his front while other excites his rear he positions them side-by-side so he can penetrate any of all four holes he stacks them one on top of the other many other variations after reaching ****** several times making sure to reciprocally satisfy their eager needs Odysseus dismisses girls until following day finally after month of practice Monica and Larissa feel confident proficient primed Odysseus arranges for girls to meet with 2 traders through Chris most traders have nicknames Twist who is hosting event is notoriously wild insatiable on opening night Odysseus behaves like concerned father Larissa and Monica each bring several dresses and pairs of shoes Odysseus helps them choose suggests Monica ease up on make-up he styles Larissa’s hair instructs Monica to call him when they arrive again when they leave he requests they return directly to his place Monica wears hair pulled back in French twist pearl earrings sleek little black dress black stiletto heels she stands several inches above Odysseus Larissa wears braided pigtails pink low-scooped leotard brown plaid wool kilt just above knees brown suede cowboy boots he kisses each on lips then pats their butts warns them to be careful mindful Monica winks Larissa giggles more than an hour passes as Odysseus sits wondering why he has not heard from girls suddenly reality hits he does not want to be commodities trader and certainly not a **** this is not how he wants to be known or remembered Odysseus wants to be a painter and writer Monica and Larissa are good sweet girls whom he has misguided he calls Twist’s place Twist answers Odysseus asks to speak with Monica when she comes to phone he questions are you all right Monica answers yes we’re fine we’re having a fantastic time why are you calling what’s wrong he explains you were suppose to call me when you arrived i began to worry i think maybe this whole arrangement is a bad idea i want you to call it off and come back home i don’t want either of you to become prostitutes i love you both and don’t want to be associated with dishonoring you Monica says it’s a little late to call it off but we’ll see you when we’re done kissy kiss bye Odys another hour passes then another he frets wondering what they are doing after 4 hours as he is about to call Twist’s house again doorbell rings Monica and Larissa both giggling beaming Odysseus can spot they have a coke buzz Monica announces you should be proud of us Odys we got each of them off 2 times we left them stone-numb and tapped out the girls open their purses each slaps 5 hundred dollar bills unto table Monica says this is your cut Odys we both got a thousand for ourselves he replies i can’t touch that money we need to sit down and talk Monica demands no talking Odys take off your clothes he insists i’m serious Monica i’m never going to send you out again Larissa claims there’s no turning back for me i had too much fun Monica  pleads come on Odys we’ll be good we promise now take off your clothes Twist and his buddy never attended to our needs i’m ***** as hell Larissa where’s that little bottle of dust Twisty handed you

Chicago Monday night December 8 1980 Cal and Odysseus sit at North End they're on 4th round feeling buzz the place is lively adorned with holiday decorations Cal says you’ve changed Odysseus questions what do you mean? how? Cal says the commodity markets and your cousin and his friends they’ve changed you when was the last time you painted Odys? are you dealing coke Odysseus looks Cal in the eyes answers they’re so ******* rich Cal you can’t believe it one drives a black Corvette Stingray another a ******* Delorean anything they want they buy girls cars clothes condos boats yeah i’m dealing coke to Chris’s friends it’s my only leverage remember the Columbian dude Armando we met at tittie bar? i score from him and keep it clean Chris’s buddies pay up for the quality i don’t remember my last painting maybe the black painting i never finished after breaking up with Reiko Lee a girl falls off bar stool crashing to floor at other end of bar Cal says Odys, you better play it careful you’re messing with the devil got any blow on you suddenly bar grows quiet someone turns up TV volume they watch overhead as news anchorman speaks slow solemn camera pans splattered puddle of blood pieces of broken glass on steps to Dakota Building Cal looks to Odysseus John Lennon has been murdered Cal waits for Odysseus to say something tear rolls down cheek Cal glances away stares down at floor they drink in silence
“Seldom we find,” says Solomon Don Dunce,
  “Half an idea in the profoundest sonnet.
Through all the flimsy things we see at once
  As easily as through a Naples bonnet—
  Trash of all trash!—how can a lady don it?
Yet heavier far than your Petrarchan stuff—
Owl-downy nonsense that the faintest puff
  Twirls into trunk-paper the while you con it.”
And, veritably, Sol is right enough.
The general tuckermanities are arrant
Bubbles—ephemeral and so transparent—
  But this is, now—you may depend upon it—
Stable, opaque, immortal—all by dint
Of the dear names that lie concealed within’t.
The book of moonlight is not written yet
Nor half begun, but, when it is, leave room
For Crispin, ***** in the lunar fire,
Who, in the hubbub of his pilgrimage
Through sweating changes, never could forget
That wakefulness or meditating sleep,
In which the sulky strophes willingly
Bore up, in time, the somnolent, deep songs.
Leave room, therefore, in that unwritten book
For the legendary moonlight that once burned
In Crispin's mind above a continent.
America was always north to him,
A northern west or western north, but north,
And thereby polar, polar-purple, chilled
And lank, rising and slumping from a sea
Of hardy foam, receding flatly, spread
In endless ledges, glittering, submerged
And cold in a boreal mistiness of the moon.
The spring came there in clinking pannicles
Of half-dissolving frost, the summer came,
If ever, whisked and wet, not ripening,
Before the winter's vacancy returned.
The myrtle, if the myrtle ever bloomed,
Was like a glacial pink upon the air.
The green palmettoes in crepuscular ice
Clipped frigidly blue-black meridians,
Morose chiaroscuro, gauntly drawn.

How many poems he denied himself
In his observant progress, lesser things
Than the relentless contact he desired;
How many sea-masks he ignored; what sounds
He shut out from his tempering ear; what thoughts,
Like jades affecting the sequestered bride;
And what descants, he sent to banishment!
Perhaps the Arctic moonlight really gave
The liaison, the blissful liaison,
Between himself and his environment,
Which was, and is, chief motive, first delight,
For him, and not for him alone. It seemed
Elusive, faint, more mist than moon, perverse,
Wrong as a divagation to Peking,
To him that postulated as his theme
The ******, as his theme and hymn and flight,
A passionately niggling nightingale.
Moonlight was an evasion, or, if not,
A minor meeting, facile, delicate.

Thus he conceived his voyaging to be
An up and down between two elements,
A fluctuating between sun and moon,
A sally into gold and crimson forms,
As on this voyage, out of goblinry,
And then retirement like a turning back
And sinking down to the indulgences
That in the moonlight have their habitude.
But let these backward lapses, if they would,
Grind their seductions on him, Crispin knew
It was a flourishing tropic he required
For his refreshment, an abundant zone,
Prickly and obdurate, dense, harmonious
Yet with a harmony not rarefied
Nor fined for the inhibited instruments
Of over-civil stops. And thus he tossed
Between a Carolina of old time,
A little juvenile, an ancient whim,
And the visible, circumspect presentment drawn
From what he saw across his vessel's prow.

He came. The poetic hero without palms
Or jugglery, without regalia.
And as he came he saw that it was spring,
A time abhorrent to the nihilist
Or searcher for the fecund minimum.
The moonlight fiction disappeared. The spring,
Although contending featly in its veils,
Irised in dew and early fragrancies,
Was gemmy marionette to him that sought
A sinewy nakedness. A river bore
The vessel inward. Tilting up his nose,
He inhaled the rancid rosin, burly smells
Of dampened lumber, emanations blown
From warehouse doors, the gustiness of ropes,
Decays of sacks, and all the arrant stinks
That helped him round his rude aesthetic out.
He savored rankness like a sensualist.
He marked the marshy ground around the dock,
The crawling railroad spur, the rotten fence,
Curriculum for the marvellous sophomore.
It purified. It made him see how much
Of what he saw he never saw at all.
He gripped more closely the essential prose
As being, in a world so falsified,
The one integrity for him, the one
Discovery still possible to make,
To which all poems were incident, unless
That prose should wear a poem's guise at last.
Sister and mother and diviner love,
And of the sisterhood of the living dead
Most near, most clear, and of the clearest bloom,
And of the fragrant mothers the most dear
And queen, and of diviner love the day
And flame and summer and sweet fire, no thread
Of cloudy silver sprinkles in your gown
Its venom of renown, and on your head
No crown is simpler than the simple hair.

Now, of the music summoned by the birth
That separates us from the wind and sea,
Yet leaves us in them, until earth becomes,
By being so much of the things we are,
Gross effigy and simulacrum, none
Gives motion to perfection more serene
Than yours, out of our own imperfections wrought,
Most rare, or ever of more kindred air
In the laborious weaving that you wear.

For so retentive of themselves are men
That music is intensest which proclaims
The near, the clear, and vaunts the clearest bloom,
And of all the vigils musing the obscure,
That apprehends the most which sees and names,
As in your name, an image that is sure,
Among the arrant spices of the sun,
O bough and bush and scented vine, in whom
We give ourselves our likest issuance.

Yet not too like, yet not so like to be
Too near, too clear, saving a little to endow
Our feigning with the strange unlike, whence springs
The difference that heavenly pity brings.
For this, musician, in your girdle fixed
Bear other perfumes. On your pale head wear
A band entwining, set with fatal stones.
Unreal, give back to us what once you gave:
The imagination that we spurned and crave.
Ash Oct 2020
Abandoned shelter
Filled again
With paintings and furniture
With lights and colors
With dreams and hopes
With you and me

Those sad songs are no longer be played
Days are filled with joy and laugh again
Those smile wash away a thousand doubts
No more tears and lies to tell to myself anymore
My home is arrant again
Cassie Mae Dec 2012
Do Not!
stare at me from across the room

Hide!
your arrant looks, at least try

Look Away!
there is nothing here for you

Boy, don't you know?
You had your chance.

You!
think you get a second chance

No!
find some other girl to play your games

Get out!
leave my heart to mend

Boy, don't you know?
You had your chance.
© Cassie Mae Writings 2012
ringnir Jan 2016
Has it arrived?
Why, why hasn't it?
The hands that run this place
***** and test my spirit.

Oh but I am patient,
but stand not to suffer.
These bullies,
they will hear from darling Mother.

Mother will not be charmed
by this, this
hair on my chin.
How will she hope to recognize
her little Monkey kin?

Where is the razor promised?
She will be here quite soon.
I scraped and clawed barbarously, but
my nails aren't meant to prune.

Equanimity.
Little Monkey, breathe.
Allay the palpitations
and the grinding of your teeth.

Count. 1, 2, 9, 4.
In.
Or was it 1, 2, 4, 9?
Out.
Oh, Mother says it's not vital.
I'm sure she wouldn't mind.

Wipe your chin off of blood.
Good.
And bite your nails off too.
You are, no, I - am patient -
until the debt is due.

-

Like that kid, what was he called?
John? Jim? An arrant name I'm sure.
He hissed and said he'd tell on me,
for eating green manure.

He ran -
that poor little Penguin.
What Mother bestowed to Monkey,
his did not bequeath to him.

A splintered piece of fence in hand
- why is the razor not here yet -
A fall, a squeal, he could not defend.
Cowgirl, concede, plead, then stab.

Prying open a chicken's beak
was cleaner than plucking out his tongue.
This Jack? Joe? This brown-eyed snitch,
thought he'd won because he's young.

I ejected into his open mouth - no loss,
to assure my secret stayed unleashed -
and I never quite liked brown manure,
unlike Mother's eyes - a jade-green finish.

The Penguin family - an unexpected crowd.
All of them - mother, father, and two other browns.
They all screamed and the father lunged, but -
penguins can never beat Monkey on ground.

Each one felled by fence's tip.
1, 2... well the father was elephant-big.
And the others combined would make one more.
So two Elephants by Monkey's score.

-

My fingers with nails freshly removed,
evoke an image of that wooden stake.
Dripping and wafting - suspicious acerbity...
...I think she's here! 1, 2, 9, 8...

Blood-grimed hands no longer throbbing,
for it's all right now, dear Mother's coming.
She will kiss you and speak with her peridot eyes,
sing lullabies and... Where is my Mother!?

You bullies promised me Mother was coming.
Liars! Are you hiding her from me? Mommy!!
Monkey was good and waited meekly for you.
You thieves and brown-eyes, what did you do?!
And where are you taking me, if not to see her?
No I don't want to sleep, I want a moment with her!
Count your debts
- all of you -
for I have a patient nature.
You will all pay - when I get my promised razor.
AJ James Sep 2015
"Hypothetically,"  hypocrisy has become the new democracy.
Socrates once said "You must break free from society",
Admittedly, that is not a direct quote.

Woe, oh, no I do not believe in aligning my stars
with your sharp minded attitude that controls me from afar.
Hardships ahead suggest that you best let go of your
previously consumed ideals and feelings and repeal from
the concave society that begs us to encourage our propriety.

Sigh, it seems that this community of this city
is stuck in a trance and they do not wish to be disturbed.
Well I'm perturbed by that fact, yet I act like I understand
the zombie-like trance that has taken hold of all that are breathing,
Leaving only a few confounded by the monstrosity of this reaping.

Keep me here, away from the stagnant ailment that has
an arrant grip on the throats of the blokes that were
ignorant enough to believe that indiscretion.

True, it's become my obsession to call out all that is nonsensical.
It's apocalyptical! Their anonymity is frankly mystical.
Their words seem to be lathed with mechanical phrases and verbs,
again I'm perturbed and what's even worse, is I find myself intrigued by their complete lack of identity that I can't make sense of me.

See? It's a seductive prospect to attempt to project yourself into
that cult, but as a result all your visions of freedom will dither
and wither into nothingness.

Although, they're courteous enough to let you keep your vanity,
but the rest of you, all your thoughts of clean and lucid dreams, are
reamed from your mind, wound down to a soft and empty grind.

My, you really should ignite a morsel of self-respect to check out
of this direct fog that is hogging any last bit of intellect.
Dissect one thought from the other and then you'll wonder
how to crawl out of this ignorant hole that has
swallowed you down, consuming your soul.

Pull yourself away from their depreciating ways.
Reintroduce yourself to free will and thoughts
so you can be brought back to life and maybe even have
a deeply un-contrived and well-thought about thought.

Be wise, snap back into reality and let gravity do it's job.
Throb goes your heart.
Did you feel that? That puncture in your chest?
It's doing it's best to let you know that you're alive,
high with breath on your tongue and in your lungs,
Filled to the seams, light beams from your fingers.

Do not linger, here in this moment, rush to the surface
and escape the airless lies that are encrusting your soul.
Pull yourself up to the surface and allow yourself to be woken.

Broken you may be, but you can be renewed if you give yourself
permission to control your own admission.
So permise it and recommit to standing on your own two feet
and weep with joy at your eternal freedom.

This is where I leave you.
Alone with your lonesome self...
Relish in your new-found magnum opus,
let it give you focus to hone in on your blooming
and lucid, conscious brewing.

Keep it stewing.
Stirring to formalize your new ignition,
no longer is this a road to your perdition.
Ridden your thoughts, let your conformity rot
and let that *** stew all of your now, new
delectable thoughts.
Joseph Sinclair Feb 2015
They came one hour before the dawn,
Each to himself complete;
Fanatic’s face and stealthy pace
On canvas roughshod feet,
And each one knew what each must do,
His destiny to meet.
  
And some wore masks upon their heads
And on some heads were none;
And some held blades, and some grenades,
And in some hands a gun;
But, common to each one, upon
Their lips an orison.
  
It was not fear induced their prayer
(They were not so devout),
It was but pious callousness
That brought their prayer about;
The arrant beat of their conceit
Permitted of no doubt.
  
That they should seize, with perfect ease,
This symbol of the might
Of that great power in one short hour
Without the need to fight,
Naively and sufficient was
To fill them with delight.
  
But no one had considered that
There was a need to guard
The sanctuary of the house;
Tradition had assured
It would remain inviolate,
Thus were they ill-prepared.
  
And even less could they then guess
Their capture by default
In that bleak hour before the dawn
To dreams would call a halt,
Uncertain whether fear or smiles
Should greet this weird assault.

But never did they speak a word
  Or pause to give a thought
To those whose confined air they shared
And whose respect they sought
Yet unaware of how much fear
Their nervous rage had brought.

The constant weight of dreaded hate,
Much heavier than gold
Held in the throes of daily woes
Lacked shelter from the cold
And bitter blame that hid their shame
Scant comfort for that fold.
  
“If it were in our power alone,
You know we’d set you free,
But we must on that greater power
Bestow our loyalty.
Our faith demands the principle
Of reciprocity.
  
“And you must know our charity
Is running out of time,
And all we ask – a simple task –
That you admit your crime
Against our great and noble State.
Confession is sublime.”

But bit by bit and day by day
Anxiety increased.
The captives could not comprehend
Remaining unreleased.
And lacked the empathy that veiled
The hostile Middle East.

They disagreed between themselves
On what their captors sought.
There were a few who took the view
That they must lend support
To something that exemplified
How steadfastly they fought.

And for their part the captors too
Debated fervently.
Our fathers too believed as you
And lived lives decently
But we have learned by pain and strife
That these things cannot be.

But bit by bit their feelings changed
Quite subtly to and fro.
And what at first they would not face,
Became a need to know
The details of from whence they came
And where they hoped to go.

Is this the land your fathers loved
And toiled so hard to win?
Is this the freedom that they sought,
Those noble fellahin?
Do you not think these deeds disturb
The graves that they sleep in?

Do they not miss their families?
What holds them in such thrall?
Eternal and infinite bliss;
Is that the mighty pill?
Deliverance from worldly sin
And quick release from ill.

Our lives depend on your goodwill
And gaining your acclaim;
To guarantee survival must
Be our final aim.
Though it reflects so grievously
Our everlasting shame.

To find ourselves in bonding mode
Emotion'lly with those
Who seemed to pose the greatest threat
And had the most to lose
Seemed but the test of all the best
That we could then propose

Avoiding trauma and distress,
We need to change our course
As rivers often cannot help
Identify their source
We still believe we can relieve
The brutal use of force

Their cruelty from weakness sprang.
(They thought themselves humane:
Considerate to animals
And sparing children pain.)
But each one knew what each must do
Ere he saw home again.

“Justice for each is what we preach
Though it may terror breed;
That we may own what we have sown:
The produce of our seed.”
(The prejudice of ignorance
May yet fulfil their need.)

What irony their actions bear
As to achieve, they sought
Their violent needs with violent deeds,
And claimed for freedom fought,
Who were themselves to violence slaves.
How dear is freedom bought?
  
“The words we use indeed abuse,
But we have no regrets;
Corruption is the rotting fruit
That decadence begets,
And those who yet will of it eat
Deserve these epithets.”

Our motivation and our aims
Weigh much more heavily
Than simple arguments against
Abuse of family.
And we, with utmost trust, will still
Pursue it mightily.

To find relief in that belief
Their pleading did increase;
That that concern in turn might bring
Enlightenment and peace.
Yet still each knew what each must do
Before there came release.

The moral that this story bears
Will evermore abide . . .  
That death did not discriminate
One from the other side;  
When each one knew what each must do  
And each one did . . . and died.
The poem was written in the 1980s.  It was based very loosely on the hostage situation in Tehran that lasted from 1979 to 1981 - a total of 444 days.  It was subsequently completed as a fictional combination of the actual Tehran events and the bonding experience of the Stockholm bank robbery that had occurred almost a decade earlier.  Incredibly in the light of recent events involving the ISAS it has once again become painfully and currently relevant.  Its intent is not to ameliorate the abhorrent behaviour of those who claim religious justification for acts for which there is no justification, but to recognise that the blamers are never free from criticism of their own actions, frequently also based upon religious conviction.   The message is that we need to seek within our own souls before condemning others.  The poem was published in my book *Uncultured Pearls* - published by ASPEN-London in the UK and Create Space in the USA in 2014.
R Ryumka Apr 2013
how can somebody hide in just one syllable,
you know,

how can somebody hide pieces of themselves

in the sharp way in which I fold my arms,
in the colours that i sometimes wear -

in how i try to do no harm
and the way i wear my hair,

the style of my dress
plus my thing for blue:

i'm an arrant
mess, you know,

just between
me and
you.
a syllable/structure experiment: from twelve syllables to one.

this kind of vein is the only one my words seem to want to come from at the moment. letting go/hanging on is fairly relevant right now, I suppose.
Twas accursed destiny
     since birth alack
nascent emasculation abominable barrack
emergent deus ex machina,

     viz zit ting older sibling counterattack
thirteen plus chronological gap
    eldest sister struck like diamondback
surrogate "mother" role

     assumed tubby exact
protectorate pseudo fullback
against cruel beastie boys
     bullying barbs

     comeuppance giveback
pummeling spongiform
     gray matter (yours truly)
     fisticuffs she didst highjack

proxy mothering
     kept corporeal essence intact
jilting nefarious nemesis aligned
     (maligning) and stalking,

     this fee-fi-fo-fum
     ordinary bean sized Jack
are runt (arrant) cowardly
     (non lion) nerdy lad owning a knack
courage lack this glum

     older married chap doth adumbrate
     satisfactory accomplishments lack
king, where crazy quilt aimless wandering
     described purposeless multitrack

thus, sympathetic
     to hue men/women nonblack
or decimated aborigines
     once populating Australian outback

existential nihilism would,
     undergirding hypothetical
     unwritten paperback
with little need to prevaricate,
     nor appear as quack

***, one measly **** sapiens,
     who accrued millennial palimpsest zeitgeist
     where, punctured
     disequilibreated psyche dust rack

asper protean (in utero)
     multitudinous setback
soundlessly resonating
     with concussive thwack

as this rickety ship of state
     (a haunted junk ket)
     unwanted emotional ballast to unpack
asseveration, asper assiduously

     preferably welcoming
     dry suction no vac
jar this pawn (knight wannabe
     in his bishop rick) torrid

     me psychological wrack
king within (castle keep)
     complex edifice shackled
     in dungeon with repast constituting.
Shadiya Zubair Aug 2020
Everyday I unlatch my book of 'mind'
Unfailingly clinging to the page of 'memories'
My days went by tearing up all day
ruminating back the doleful moments.

One day I questioned myself
"How can I get over this agony?".
A sudden rumbling voice snapped back my thoughts,
then I heard an arrant afar in a hushed tone  'let go'  'let go'  'let go'!
🍁To 'let go' also means to give up resisting and struggling to hold on to meaningless issues in exchange for powerful and wholesome moments that come our way by allowing and accepting unchangeable realities that come by in our daily lives. Accept 'what is', and let go of what was!🍁
David Betten Apr 2017
CORTÉS                            
            Friend, you must look upon our advent here
            Not with unease, but as a world of good.

AGUILAR     [simultaneously] . . . but as a world of good.
            My potent monarch rules beyond the seas,
            And rumors tease his ears of Mexico.
            I come to you as his ambassador,

MALINALLI      [simultaneously] . . . to you as his ambassador,
            With gifts I must in person grant your lord,
            And bring him tidings that will save his life.

TEUHTLILLI
            [aside] (Fresh off the boat, and asks for audience!)
            My ruler also is a busy king,
            Like yours, and he will send for his desires.

            MALINALLI     [simultaneously] . . . he will send for his desires.
            He’s locked in caucus from his island throne:
            The teeming, lacustrine metropolis
            Of Mexico, called also, “Cactus Rock,”

AGUILAR         [simultaneously] . . . called also, “Cactus Rock,”
            Whose minions by the millions stir with drive,
            And fructify the land on floating farms.

CORTÉS
            A land with gold in hand?

TEUHTLILLI                                  By heaps and mounds.

CORTÉS
            “Why ask?” you’ll ask. I ask because I know
            That precious metal heals an arrant heart.
            My men are languishing from that complaint.

TEUHTLILLI
            We have the cure to purge bad-hearted men.
            [aside] (By god, his helmet flashes on my mind:
            Dead ringer to the one our war god wears.)
            [to him] May I, sir, as a token of goodwill,
            Present my lord your brilliant helm?

CORTÉS                                                     You may,
            If you return it filled with grains of gold.
            We’ll test by trial if this New World’s veins
            Are worth the circulation of the Old.
            Come sir, we’ll further parley by the fire.
            Escort this minister to my retreat.
                                           Exit Alvarado, Sandoval, Teuhtlilli, and servant.
            Well now, young lady. What whelp have we here?

AGUILAR           Your name, child.

MALINALLI           Malinalli.

AGUILAR             Ah, Malina.

CORTÉS        Well! Marina, then.
            I’ll sponsor you, in my kind custody.
            Mellifluous and honey-throated dame,
            Your golden tongue must buy us a good name.                  *All exit.
From my play in verse, thefloralwar.com
Vane glorious and absolutistic,
     though I defiantly,
     cavalierly, and blithely attest
Yukon bet your (laugh-in) sweet bippy
     mine acidic breast

houses anarchic, anti-poetic ballistic,
     barbaric, and bubonic
     cannibalistic demons within thy
     safely guarded Pandora chest
atomic cesium clock

     timed to trigger avast
     burst of anxiety, frenzy, and
     (What me worry
     Alfred E. Neuman) blast
ting mental quietude at most
     inappropriate, inconvenient,

     inopportune, out classed
adrenaline rush, nausea,
     palpitating heart, vertigo
besieging, corrupting,
     endeavoring fractured arrant

cleft daemonic gripping
     hellishly psychic chant
rendering unto sieze ****,
     a choking vise grip extant
yule hiss sieze indomitable

     banshee fully controlling grant
diabolic, dogmatic, and dynamic,
     anguished corporeal ache
easily, egregiously, and emblematically,
     exemplified historically

     graphic fatalistic, and ecstatic coup,
     (koo), when I caused furious frantic flight,
     and/or fight betake
king angst causing just desserts
     for Marie Antoinette,

     who got her humble pie cake,
thence dispensing with formalities,
     where a joshing drake
     (named Gill O. Teen)

also known (solely known
     to mine selfish source error ways)
alias i.e. as; the Lewis (loose)
     lunatic, heady harvester,
     and decapitation Deacon trumpeting,

     trouncing, and triumphing tranquility
     for fifty three Tuesdays,
thence sea king punishing psychotic
     pre pound payment
     basking in glory (re: gory us)

     amidship crashing quays
music to mine ears hearing plaintive neighs
high pitched straining
     vocal chord hamstrung keys
regaling oceanographic
     lambent hagiographic essays
and keeping at bathos bays.
Andrew Guzaldo c May 2018
Am I euphoric about the love I once had?
Or am I euphoric regarding the life I’m living?
In this present moment and time I am without,
My life surrounded that of an ocean of sad waves?

Arrant rocks feeling of swimming in the deep,
Blue sea,.
But in the end I am the canticle of the love
Love I had that I may neither have again?

Someday somewhere she may return to me,
The ardor for one woman and one woman alone,
Is this the emotion that one should feel in life?
When you fall in the declivity of fervor,

Oh dear woman of whom I loved and lost,
Hope linked and force merged now despaired.
She came like the morning sun with hope and love,  
Destiny I had so longed for a voyage of docility,


There now sets before me obsidian arid of islets,
This was my destiny and in it was my voyage,
Now left to wonder where my animus furtively is,  
And my longing for you everything sank to the,
Dregs of the abyss”
By AG 05/07/2018 ©
Andrew Guzaldo c Nov 2019
“As arrant squall enters from all corners,
As our daily rituals must procure to dormant,
Lacking warmth of suns touch upon our skin,
As the winter winds ere upon our ambience,  

As our once daily formality would bring us,
Alongside a cool pool a beach or just quirks,
A spathe of skin an apprise bronze from the sun,
As dangling brown leaves parched fall to terrain,

As a sunken suns down in early afternoons,
The winter bellowing of moons as they procure,
Branches of once fruits and such now withered,
Now lay along the cold grown fallen as chill beckons,
The winter sings of creeping crows,

Beneath the blaze of summer hung the beauty foliage,
Flowers to be inherent upon a warming spring,  
Graciously arranged to fade beneath a winters squall,
Once bright green leaves dying and sizzling on the trees,
As lonely fledgling birds pay respect as they fly west,
As they seem to say Adieux Summer once again”

By Andrew Guzaldo © 10/30/2019 #170
By Andrew Guzaldo © 10/30/2019 Poem#170 Hello Poetry
Akam Aniekan Aug 2016
Like carefree kids we played
Singing and dancing in the rain
Anticipating each day
Couldn't bare to stay away
From each other? No way
Emotionally attached to each other
Envisaging a future together
Woven of many fibres
Even a weavon wasn't tighter
My metre was broken, my joy knew no bounds
My heart skips a beat, ****! I love the sound
The complete that makes my incomplete complete, I've found
In this romantic pool, I wish to drown
My heart I give to you
All of me belongs to all of you
There's nothing I wouldn't do
There's nothing I couldn't do
Careless promises we made
To love each other till we fade
Come hell or high waters
We will forever be lovers
I'll starve, to see you filled
To see you happy I'll bleed
I'll cater for your every need
I'll treat you like royal beads
My capillary, arteries and veins
Were designed to suit your taste
I'll be your Paloma you'll be my Diego
My sugar banana and Avocado
Then I had a deep cut, was bleeding profusely
Stitches and bandages couldn't help unfortunately
I wept uncontrollably
Cos I was shattered internally
What we love hurts us the most
A statement I just got to know
My mind wandered from coast to coast
Grief had taken over my soul
How could this happen to me
How could I be a victim to this
How was I careless
This is arrant nonsense
Was I blind
Were there scales over my eyes
Did I ignore the signs
Did I want to believe all was fine
It was like I would never recover
It was like the wound won't heal
It was like it would last an eternity
It was like respite won't be
The wounds closed up, all that was left was the scar
A painful reminder of a broken heart
Injuries happen Tis inevitable
But the scars reminds us Tis conquerable.
Nicole Apr 2021
my bedroom mirror is broken -
an arrant illustration of torment
wrists landmark a spectacle carved in crimson blood
damaged mutterings seeking acceptance
darkness in the corners of self
rapacious hunger cut off by unfilled desire
ribs devoured and exposed, but covered
hiding pain in plain sight
famished; none the wiser
with a cracked precision, I smile
Andrew Guzaldo c Jul 2018
“Come to me in the adumbration of the night,
The hopeless longing of the day I bare for thee,
Come to me in the adumbration and caress my brow
I suffer so without you my love to be near,

I say love why languish when we were near,
Why do I see a haunted visage afore your face,
I am enigmatic on days we are not met dowager,
I will be well in the morn to know you did not chicanery,

The acumen there I can't see in dew of squalor.
I shall not always be visage abject and mute,
We are not made to live in an eternity of lachrymose,  
The night whose arrant bosoms relieve the torment,

As while in the dark I shall hide my heart that exudes,
Sparkling stars above and the crag of oxygen you proffer,    
This is when we will plant and on other days shall reap,
Planting of beguiling limbs afore me savory peplum,

Nights will more than profit from day’s rueful longing,
To know that your presence will take away my trepidation”
By A. Guzaldo 07/07/2018 ©
By A. Guzaldo 07/07/2018 ©
Andrew Guzaldo c Jun 2018
“Glaring at the sun above as she sets,
Reminds me of the ardor I spent on you,
As was the love you had for me,
Once as a crisp bright Sun glaring,

Now just a sad moon with sparking stars,
As stars look as if they kiss crescent moon,
How I wish she was near me and not so far,
As the distant blackbirds auscultate so sweetly,

Betwixt the emerald cove dawn rising again,
The smell of the salt on the billow sea,
The aroma of the perennial in their bloom,
In arrant of the beauty comes mist of indigence,

When there is love nothing is Impossible,
When her lips met mine it was beatitude,
Now just a painted effigy cognizance within,
I am lost without the warmth of her soul,

While my soul speaks to yours,
The words ever heeding to be said,
But I alone shall hearken at the emerald cove”

BY AG 06/07/2018 ©
BY AG 06/07/2018 ©
(alternately titled: aery diction galloped jocosely)

Abbreviation asper "FAKE"
abdication (wishful thinking),
an aberration Trump accepted
abjuration (or alternative) i.e.
ablation, thee apprenticed

president, would never forsake
abnegation (sooner his cold,
dead paws pried loose Putin
on the Ritz Carlton), this
abomination, his indiscriminate

abrogation appears (underwent)
acceleration autocratic accentuation
Americans aver acceptation,
acclamation, acclimation,
accommodation "FAKE"

accreditation, averse Hispanic
refugee acculturation, he blithely
asseverates, viz faux (******* up)
accumulation unfairly *******
accusation (baseless bigotry)

scapegoating fifty plus shades
brown illegal aliens despite
provable residency status
conveniently citing himself
perforce repetition validates

accustomation touts "FAKE"
non hardy laurels spilt, spelt,
and smelt acetification reign
ruination unleashing acetylation
promoting political acidulation

SCOTUS acrimonious activation
authoritarian smug egoistic
actualization nepotism, jingoism,
despotism actuation atavistic,
apathetic, allergic adaptation

acquiescent, arrant, abhorrent
adjudication Machiavellian aggressive
adjuration acrimonious atrocious
administration alarming, appalling,
arresting admiration abysmal,

artificial, asymmetrical adoration
awful adulation, ambivalent
apathetic adulteration avast
averse adumbration adulteration
affair advocation barren aeration
puffed hirsute aerosolization.
Rowan May 2017
With the waves crashing down on my mind
I struggle to breath, water filling my broken lungs,
Tears mixing with the salty sea, swallowing my body in it's roiling currents
Breaking down the elements into a dust,
Scattered dreams and thoughts floating on a gilded surface
With the fire flowing down my skin
I whimper as it consumes my identity, sparks lighting up my eyes
Burning my skin, hollowing my heart and stealing my cares
Boiling my blood away, into a vapor trailing through the atmosphere
Tearing my essence apart, the embers glowing like an abandoned forge
Crippled limbs of heavens long forgotten by time and it's friends

Water and fire, they burn and drown,
If I could say which was worse, I wouldn't have a blackened or suffocated mind
If I could choose one to die from, to go out in pain or peace
Both with arrant beauty as death and love take me away
into the beyond abyss, far into the depths, and high above the sky
In a place of nothing, of absence and complete nonexistence
Then I would have to say, the sound of home, a crackling fire
would be a remembrance of a life, but in suffering I shall go
Yet I find myself drawn as lead to paper
to the idea of acceptance in the sea's lovely grasp
A burden left behind on the shoreline, with the lost and unknown as company

So, shall the decision cost me a life?
No, I say, it will not cost me anything but a body already dead
Shredded by words scorned stones thrown by the living
Although they are murderers in each's own right,
I stand Queen to that title, for they did not cast those looks for free, nor alone
In the night I stood at an altar and bleed for my gods,
In the day I prayed for salvation from my nightmares around me
Seek the light, they would tell me, and you will be found
But I have lived in this darkness for so long, it has become me and my home
A shelter from the storm swirling outside these cobweb walls
Caught inside, a spider without a will to fight

Must there be an answer to the long abated question;
Is there a reply I can formulate without the harshness of their words to punish back?
The world is a wondrously tragic truth no one can read but those who are too, a truth
Born of the miseries and the deaths that bring about that talk of devils and demons
The ones that live inside my head, who made me an empress, the ones who stole me away
and gave me the choice; of peace or suffering?
Is it not so imperfect that I must choose, an unworthy merit to make me take
Of all the liberties given, the only one I wish not to see
Is the one standing in front of me.
Rowan Jul 2017
With the waves crashing down on my mind
I struggle to breath, water filling my broken lungs,
Tears mixing with the salty sea, swallowing my body in it's roiling currents
Breaking down the elements into a dust,
Scattered dreams and thoughts floating on a gilded surface
With the fire flowing down my skin
I whimper as it consumes my identity, sparks lighting up my eyes
Burning my skin, hollowing my heart and stealing my cares
Boiling my blood away, into a vapor trailing through the atmosphere
Tearing my essence apart, the embers glowing like an abandoned forge
Crippled limbs of heavens long forgotten by time and it's friends

Water and fire, they burn and drown,
If I could say which was worse, I wouldn't have a blackened or suffocated mind
If I could choose one to die from, to go out in pain or peace
Both with arrant beauty as death and love take me away
into the beyond abyss, far into the depths, and high above the sky
In a place of nothing, of absence and complete nonexistence
Then I would have to say, the sound of home, a crackling fire
would be a remembrance of a life, but in suffering I shall go
Yet I find myself drawn as lead to paper
to the idea of acceptance in the sea's lovely grasp
A burden left behind on the shoreline, with the lost and unknown as company

So, shall the decision cost me a life?
No, I say, it will not cost me anything but a body already dead
Shredded by words scorned stones thrown by the living
Although they are murderers in each's own right,
I stand Queen to that title, for they did not cast those looks for free, nor alone
In the night I stood at an altar and bleed for my gods,
In the day I prayed for salvation from my nightmares around me
Seek the light, they would tell me, and you will be found
But I have lived in this darkness for so long, it has become me and my home
A shelter from the storm swirling outside these cobweb walls
Caught inside, a spider without a will to fight

Must there be an answer to the long abated question;
Is there a reply I can formulate without the harshness of their words to punish back?
The world is a wondrously tragic truth no one can read but those who are too, a truth
Born of the miseries and the deaths that bring about that talk of devils and demons
The ones that live inside my head, who made me an empress, the ones who stole me away
and gave me the choice; of peace or suffering?
Is it not so imperfect that I must choose, an unworthy merit to make me take
Of all the liberties given, the only one I wish not to see
Is the one standing in front of me.
Twas accursed destiny
since birth (maybe coded in
deoxyribonucleic acid  
since time immemorial) alas and alack
nascent emasculation abominable barrack
emergent deus ex machina,
one common Joe biden his time
for no particular
rhyme nor reason
revisiting mine days of yore,
when protectiveness courtesy
older sibling come
from behind ruthless counterattack.

All equivocation aside,
she/her thirteen plus months
and twelve days
constituted chronological senior gap
eldest sister struck like diamondback
against bullies who targeted me
as a poor defenseless “scape goat”
surrogate "mother" role
assumed tubby exact
protectorate viz pseudo fullback
against cruel foo fighting beastie boys
hurling black barbs
firing verbal slings and arrows.

Escapist exploits to cope
being brutalized, and traumatized
synonymous when Brian Williams,
(not the newscaster,
but neighborhood school chum,
who shared same namesake)
we imagined ourselves
courageous dauntless explorers
while toying with his beebee gun.

Mein kampf one after another
against relentless barrage of flak
comeuppance effected giveback
pummeling spongiform mine
now sixty plus shades gray matter
fisticuffs sister didst highjack
proxy mated mothering
kept corporeal essence intact
jilting nefarious nemesis aligned
jumpstarting, maligning, and stalking.

This fee-fi-fo-fum
bling ordinary bean sized Jack
err runt (arrant) cowardly
(fee lion) dorky and nerdy lad
owning nada knick knack
paddy whack give my dog a bone
a fide scaredy cat,
he/him an aging baby boomer
older married chap doth adumbrate

satisfactory accomplishments lack
king, where crazy
quilt aimless wandering
described purposeless multitrack
thus, sympathetic, and empathetic
to hue men/women nonblack
or decimated aborigines
once populating Australian outback
existential nihilism would,

undergirding hypothetical
unwritten paperback
with little need to prevaricate,
nor appear as quack
***, one measly **** sapiens,
who accrued millennial
palimpsest gestalt zeitgeist
where, punctured, and zapped
disequilibrium created

psyche dust rack
asper protean (in utero)
multitudinous setback
soundlessly resonating
with concussive thwack
as this rickety ship of state
(never confused as fêted junket)
unwanted emotional ballast to unpack
asseveration, asper assiduously

preferably welcoming
dry suction no vac
jarring this pawn (knight wannabe
in his bishop rick) torrid
me psychological wrack
king within (castle keep)
complex edifice shackled
in dungeon with repast constituting
present day long winded conversations,
where she volubly talk yakety yak.
Shamai Apr 2022
Afar access adieu abode
Dictionaries have some of those
Apace argosy arrant asunder
These are words from those down under
Dictionaries have words we’ve never seen
If you want to learn you must be keen
Shade shore slumber slay
These are words with which we play Sylvan tarry temerarious tenebrous These words are certainly clearly arduous
I think of beget behold beseech With all of these words I want to screech
Where do words come from and why do we use
We listen to sounds and we listen to clues
And try to understand what words are about
Which ones hold meaning which ones hold clout
Yet when the day is done we can look back and say
There were many new words that we used today
Michael John Jul 2021
there are two things i must buy-
and they jostle and vie-
one is of necessity
and practicality
that bores
and rankles and nags-
the other is of pleasure
that makes me sigh in
rag-
(for the adoration of
everything!)
one of the finger
one for the toe
one for the birds
one in the soul
one for the future-
a gentle zephyr
that blows
perfumed of
sweetness and love
the other-
a social must
for arrant dust
and comfort
supposedly
but hurt
and tedious in
string
that divide my
heart
one i could
be without
and one i would
die-
wither away
in a myriad
silence
one in black
and white
the other in
an abbot and
costello of colour
one some dreadful
paw
the other such
founding..

two i must buy
two
2
..
.
RM Smoak Oct 2017
For one month I dwelt
Half in hell
& half in this, the living world.

Food turned to ash
In my mouth,
The milk & cream of heaven
Curdled in my throat;
And undernourished, I became gaunt & frail.

I choked on every
Inward breath and
Vomited upon every exhale;
And asphyxiated, my face was stained & pale.

Nature withered in my gaze
And fauna fled my path.
My father froze in the mountains
My mother drowned in the sea;
And alone, I knew arrant fear.

No blade could pierce
My pallid skin
And excise my throbbing pain;
I was as granite to a spear.

I could not die.
And unable to die
I could not live;
And the other half slips into the inferno.

— The End —