How to gain the confidence to complete a simple task?

You took everything from me

Before I was anything at all

To deny me of my ownership

To deny my memories


To shush my aching cries

To refuse to acknowledge your actions


That is what killed me.


Long before my body died.


Your silence,

your agonizing apathy


That is what killed me.


Long before I grew up.

I was born pure,
baptized in blood and placenta

My cry was raw and clear, unashamed

My body whole and unwanting
My soul full of light.



Carelessly they polluted me



First a soft touch, then a grab
They forgot to ask my name.

Little fingers clenched into a fist
Eyes shut tight
Hoping I don’t bite

My baby soft skin turned ashen and dry
My cries refused to carry in sound proof rooms.

Polluted so often, so many times
I forgot my purity, my freedom, my name.

Conditioned to want them
Conditioned to know ***
Conditioned to be a woman, when I had not grown up yet.


I ran far away, without looking back


But still their groping fingers haunted me.
Their smiles, their lies.


My body can’t forget
what my mind has hidden from me

My soul forever tarnished
from their wandering eyes.

My heart pained
from my open wounds
My mind thrown off course

I can’t remember what I wanted before they took me,
Before I aged so quickly
Before I lost my innocence, taken by force.

my soul breaks into pieces
splintered glass piercing my heart

I look down at my hands

I don't remember having blood on them



crimson drops to the floor
silent yet so loud

you told me it's not over,
that we can rebuild

but my soul is still wounded
my heart broken,


They all saw my trembling, my bloodied hands
now I wonder if I can ever be me again

if anyone will ever know who I am,

if they can separate my fault from me,
if I can become free of my monstrosities.