Dear piano,
You are tales of mystery to me
Floating around the space in my head.
You're a death to be take,
A life that we all forget.
You're a poem blowing in the breeze,
You're a leaf falling in the wind.
Your the snow melting away after the harsh winter
And you're the fox who stalks his prey
In silence.
I see you when I skip my way down the park
And also when the masked man comes creeping
Slowly as he reaches his victim
And as his maniacal hand plunges the knife
Deep into his heart-

You are stories of lost love!
The ones that we write of in our paper back diaries.
The ones we keep in the back of our minds,
Waiting for our stories to unfold.
You're the keys to my sad songs
And the melody to my hope.
You're those long forgotten sunsets,
But also the rain when I walk back home.

I remember walking home without an umbrella,
And I wish I had you out on my road,
Playing yourself away as my whole body became soaked.
You will always be in the memories of my worst days,
And you will always be the writer of my love songs.
So tell me-
Is tonight another night of failure and flight
Or will I fight to get back up and make things right.

I hear you resounding in my dreams
And I hear you calming down my unending screams.
I feel you pulsing like butterflies flapping their wings
Or like humming birds while they stay and sing.

You are the steps of young feet on ice
And you're the magic in their young undying eyes.
You're the light in their small lives,
And your also their reason to fight.

You are the sound of adventure out to sea
Where nothing but bottles of *** are waiting for me.

But you're also all the demons that still claw at my mind.
And I try to forget about you every time I hear your melodies shiver down my spine.

And then silence-

And many have traveled my road before me,
And I'm not the only torch blazing underneath the expanse of space.
But I
Still feel
Alone.
And I
Still walk
Alone.

And my voice still echoes in the distance!
And I still think that maybe someone else is mocking my shouts,
Calling back to me the same call that I called out in an instant!
But I'm so empty that even my enemies have left me to drown!

And many have traveled this road before me!
I can tell because I can see this path stained with their blood!
The blood of giving up before we can finally see the son!
Oh it's drenched in the tears of waiting for someone to show up!
And in the distance I still hear them crying out for something.

Oh, I've never felt as afraid of getting to the end
As when it ends!
As when I face the fact that I've lost a lot of my friends!
And that the more time I spend
On the road!
On my own!
The more the dark and the light start to blend!
And I bend!
Till I break
And my knees
Start to shake!
And I sit and I still wait!
I sit and I wait!
I sit and I wait!
Oh and I wait as I watch the Florida sun
Set down it's burdens and turn in before it's too late!
Oh I wish that somedays I could wake up to the sun one more time!
And that my memories could find a way to slip away from my mind!
But I've branded myself with the mark of defeat!
And I stare at my heart and study it's beat
As it retreats!
As it slows while I breathe!
And I hope that when it stops maybe you'll be all that I see.

I'm so afraid that when I finally look up at those eyes
That they will turn and look away from mine,
Because I'm
Just another soul on the line
Of time,
Ticking away until the day I die
Inside
And make my way to the place where you decide
What's right
And the fate I'll have for eternity's life,
And to make matters worse
I've done a good job of shutting out your light.
So why do I deserve anything by a turn-away glance from your eyes!
Why would I deserve anything but that look for the disappointments and despised!
What compelled you to give me another chance to love you like
The way you loved me?
What compelled you to love me even when you knew I wouldn't try
To love you?

My God's grace goes far beyond the wrong choices we've made!
It goes far beyond those promises we break,
Promising that our addictions are long forgotten and washed away
While the next day we fall for the tenth time on our face!
My God's grace goes far beyond the fact that you're facing habits that you can't break
And you feel like killing yourself is the only way you can be saved!
My God's grace goes far beyond what men like to say,
How only certain things are able to be erased!
Oh, but they lie with their poison in their veins!
Because my God said that this world is what he came to save!
And I'm pretty sure that this world is heading towards the grave!
So let me tell you my family, don't you be afraid.
Don't worry that maybe God will turn his head away
If you go and ask him to take all of your unwanted shame.
Don't you be afraid,
My God's words were never said in vain.

How many more days will blood be the solace to your ever beating heart!
How many more days will those veins explode in order to comfort you from your harm!
How many more days will pain be the way that you keep your self safe-
Or I guess just killing yourself to make all those memories go away...

I don't know who you are and I don't know what happened to you
But giving up never gave me any hope nor any truth,
And I regret all the days that I tried to use my pain
To make everything seem like it was okay!
Because nothing could ever give me quite the escape!
Nothing seems to ever quite help my life change!
No amount of drugs or blood or lust or shame
Could change my sad desolate life of black stains...

And I remember wanting to die-
It wasn't just once-

I remember thinking that if I had the courage I might just put an end to it once and for all,
For all to see and for all to awe!
Trust me, I know what it feels like to fall
And to fall from a place of security to listening to echoing halls.
But I found some hope behind my black walls.

And that's a love that for some reason brings more peace than anything I've ever seen!
More than anything that I could ever dream.
And that's the love of a God that will always be holding you close to him in your sleep.
And I can only imagine how many people have given you reason to hate him too,
But I can promise you that he cares more than anyone cares about you!
And that there is nothing that you could ever do
To get him to stop falling in love with you.

-Sunday, the twenty second of February-
I held a sunflower in my cold hands
For the first time in twelve years-
I cautiously stroked the petals
Like a small child holding fragile life in his palms,
Knowing that with one slight pull he could crush
its very existence-
I smiled-
I looked up to the blue sky and thought of you-
The way you hold me in your hands-
I placed my yellow sunshine in my breast pocket,
And I began to think of the way you've carried
me through this Florida weather.

I love you.

I know you don't believe that I'm here with you now,
But I've been watching you since the day you were born.
Oh, I've been watching you sleep at night
And I've been doing my best to keep you alive.
I've been seeing all your dreams
And I know that you never dream of me,

But Arthur, that's okay!

I'm still standing here with my arms open, waiting for you to come my way!
I don't hate you my son!
I've loved you since the day I placed breath in your lungs!
Since the day that I planned your purpose and created each crease in your skin!
Since the day that I molded your shape and constructed your skeleton!
I've been in love with you since the day I thought of making you!
Since the day I thought of creating you!
I just want you to come home.

This world is depressing, my son,
And it will always leave you empty.
Your pain can only be taken away by my strength,
You can't do it with your own hands!
You don't need to create a sonnet of apologies to make it up to me,
You just have to let me embrace you!
You just have to let me carry you home!

If you're out there show your face!
How much longer will you hide from me!
If you're real can't you just show me?
Forgive me, it takes my eyes to believe...

If I had the guts I'd place a bullet through my head,
Because my purpose is to work until the day that I'm-
Dead
- And I never wanted to die.

Where are you, poets!
Where are you, great thinkers of our age!
The ground is the home to your bones,
And I think I'll be joining you soon!
Save room for me in the grass,
Don't spread your dust too wide
For me to find a place for mine.

-What reason is there to be
When I will be no more-

Your God is nothing but a figment of your creative imagination!
You're nothing but the art of planetary destination,
Destined to return to the dirt that you first were birthed.
Chance had its way with our molecular structure
When one small ball exploded me and you in an atomic conjuncture.
You and I have no God!

Excuse me, excuse me!
No winds or waves
Or night or day
Or time or space
Came from a God that you praise!
We were born to decay, then let our particles die
Until they fertilize and revitalize all the green grass that runs dry.
We were born for the advancement of technology!
We were born to work until someone finds the secret of immortality!

God?
Ha!
What a lonely life of living and loving some imaginary image of a God.
You waste your life with all your "do good" ways
When you could enjoy the pleasures that flaunt in your face!
Woe to you who sit and dream of some God who
Lives to tell you what to do
And cares nothing about me or you!
If God was alive than I have arrived at the conclusion that he's a menace!
He waits for my days to end just to send me to hell to pay my penance.

If your God exists and is so good, than why does he hate me?
Why does he exist to smite me from his sight.
If your God is so good, than why am I the target of his burning eyes!
Why am I the one who's losing life!
Why am I the one that has to die!
Why do I have to die!