5 year old me
thought it was
sharing things with people
crying with them

12 year old me
thought it was
holding hands
the term "boyfriend"

15 year old me
thought it was
kissing
touching

18 year old me
now understands
love comes in many different forms
sometimes in words
sometimes in expressions
sometimes in staying
and sometimes in leaving.

a love no stronger
than the bottle's proof
yet strong enough
for the mind of a youth...

I waited so long
for this moment
so why do i feel so empty?

Three weeks ago
my only wish
was to be back in your arms.
but now i feel cold
between them.

I dreamt of you
telling me you missed me,
caressing my cheek,
looking at me like i was the only one.
so why do i feel
so indifferent
to your touch?

Two weeks ago
wine drunk under the stars
i swore i'd never stop loving you.
yet,
my heart
doesn't beat
when i'm with you.

And As Fast As You Left My Life
Suddenly
You Were In It Again...



...No, Wait,
Suddenly
You Were My Life Again

You came in the room, freshened up my coffee
dipped your head to my shoulder, said you felt so happy
turned on the tv, laying on your couch
under cream colored blankets and drinking whiskey
the rain had finally started falling
I kissed your neck and said you're everything
I kissed your cheek and said don't ever leave me
how can this all feel so easy
my tortured past felt so hazy
you looked down at me with amorous eyes
lazy, wide, searching for me inside
I touched the sunburn on your chest
warm and bare, then exposed the rest
I'd like to remember the way you looked that night
dancing around in the bright kitchen light
singing wildly as you cooked
you grabbed me round the waist and pulled me
close to your body and said you missed me
I won't ever forget the way you touched me
I threw my head back and felt the ecstasy
you pushed my hand back and fell silently
into my body like the rainfall, softly
cascading down the window next to me
I never want the rain to stop
please don't ever let this rain stop