This mask is too tight,
I can't seem to get it off.
I put it on so long ago,
I never thought it'd get stuck.
It's been so long I can't remember,
I can't remember what I look like.
All I've known for so long is the mask.
But I've always fit the mask so well,
I can't seem to pull it off of me.
I put it on so long ago.
I put it on too tight.
It's form-fitted to me now...
Can anyone help me rip it off?
Please...
I'm begging...

How beautiful it is to lock your self inside
to turn the volume all the way up
and let the words of your favorite artist,
your most compatible soul, paint the bathroom walls,
with tranquil melodies.

How free it feels to let each note fill the recesses of your mind,
until you are hollow no more

How rebellious it must be stand in the spot where you and him made love, and let the warm shower water cover your icy veins and open wounds with embrace and dignity

How badly you want to scream and shout and declare your anger unto the world,
how badly you want to shatter mirrors and forget the memories,

Well darling, shatter away,
Graffiti the walls with words that make you cringe,
rip the doors off their hinges,
ignite the memories in flames till your mind is burning,
not for the past,
but for something new
something grand.

Throw the ashes in the ground and let them cultivate and grow,
into something they were never capable of being.
break down the barriers.
defy the odds of what this cookie cutter universe of fallen stars and broken dreams has to offer.

You're not like them.
you're not a fallen star,
your edges are never stagnant
you're like the sun,
you rise
you fall
you have your lows
but even when the shadows off the night lurk in,
we still see your glow.

These lungs are stones lying heavy in my chest
Breathing in the nicotine toys you smoke so slyly from your chapped lips
While under your arm in the church parking lot
You pray to who you call God
As the skeletons fall from your cigarette
Begging that we stay bound until the hour's death

  Is it the scars you hide under your stubble that attracts me to your sin?
  Or the ghosts in your pores that smell of tobacco and mint?
They loved you so much, am I one of them now?
You could have done better but I'm afraid that I can't
     You're the only type I believe keeps my sane
     You're the only type that breaks my brittle brain
How many more cracks do I dare sustain?

  But all of you leave scars under my stubble
  And the ghosts in my pores smell like tobacco and mint
I'm three packs in and I'm more alone than ever
Maybe tomorrow will bring a better "forever."

I stare at the page
But I can't focus
I am reminiscing
All the feelings
From long ago
I am better than I was
But still
Sometimes
I fall back into the
Darkness
The despair
I used to live with
Constantly
Sometimes I don't even know
Why
But I feel it
Right now
I can feel it
But it is different
It is quieter
Like a memory
Knocking at the window
It won't come in
I will just watch it
Remember it
Write of it
Until I forget
For a moment
And live*
For a moment
But
It will be back
It will slip through my door
That I tried to lock
And it will wrap its arms
Around me
A familiar embrace
That suffocates me
Forces me to
Forget my life
My responsibilities
And lie
Huddled around it
Waiting for it to leave me
For another moment
It is just passing by
It won't come in today
And I can live
Through this moment

The emptiness I feel with her
carves a hollowness within my soul
so large is the cave between my ribs
her numbing cries create echoes.

Hands tied to hers though nothing's left
we try so hard to forever forget about
the loneliness that hangs heavy between us
the memories we've failed, the love we doubt.

We collapse and cry holding one another
but we refuse to let our passion go
our misery feeding off of each other
our poisonous love is drowning us slow.

Added pain,
My only  gain,
Unwilling to explain,
Why I'm going insane.

Nothing to say,
Stay outta my way,
I'm not gonna play,
Better you go away.

Always feel wrong,
Though I try to stay strong,
Been crying this song,
For far, far too long.

Gonna get worse,
Got no reverse,
Know this last verse,
Leads to a hearse...