Scared to break another heart
Scared to find love in all this dark
But love light came to my shadows
Chose me his target
Said I was worth it
Said I was gold
Every little thing you do
Echos the promise:
"I love you"
You screenshot our facetimes
You stay up all night
You listen to my fears
And help me to fight
You told me that I'm worth the risk
Of broken hearts and broken dreams
You told me but you showed me too
I know your promises ring true

You're in my head
Take my heart
And break it if you want
It's always been yours from the start

I know you don't want me
But I can't help adore you
So here, have my heart
Rip it to shreds
Without ever catching my eye

When I need you
I want you to lie
Say you love me
Say you want me
But it's just a dream
You never were forever

You deserve it all
And I broke myself apart to give it to you
You deserve the whole universe
But I'm just a star

I am nothing to you
But you're everything to me
I love you
Even though you don't let me

You ignore me now
But maybe you never knew me
Do you know,
That you are the obsession
Of a broken shadow?

You never ask what I'm thinking about
You never ask what's on my mind
The answer is always you

And if I could
I'd kiss you till my lungs gave out
You deserve every flower in every field
I'm just a rose who fell for your eyes
But you were afraid of my thorns

You're in my head
But you don't want my heart

I don't want to hear how your day's been going
I don't want to hear what cool things you did
Cause you left me here instead
You broke me open
and now I'm dead
I don't want to hear how your girlfriend's feeling
I don't want to know that you love her more. 
I was your best friend
But I guess nothing ever more 
And I hate that. 
Cause you left me all alone
you broke my heart and didn't even know
So I'm all alone
Crying on my own
And you'll be with your friends
she's probably there taking you to her bed
and I'm just here
where you left me in the dark
crying on a bench
So please don't tell me any more
How great you're life is now that you found her
Cause I can't help but wish
that you would notice me

it's 3am
you're on my phone
so close
and yet so far
and so many times
when I heard your breathing
did I want to listen to your heart beating in your chest
and feel the rise and fall of your breath
I wanted to kiss those sleeping lips
and whisper pretty truths
and never have to leave you
till the morning dawned anew

it's always so slow without you
and with you
time seems to speed up
I just want a day with you
without the fear
that one of us will have to imminently leave
those glimpses of heaven
we spend together
are stronger than gravity
are more precious than jewels and gold
and I'd not trade one of them
for anything else this world can offer

were you soulmates
and what does that mean
that your souls intertwined
and not just your bodies?
heart to heart
and soul to soul
you matched like puzzle pieces
but where does that leave you now?
i guess soulmates
aren't always meant to be

First we were falling,
Falling in love.
I wondered if you felt the same,
You were also thinking of me.
You became the reason,
for all the good and the bad.
Then I asked you not to leave,
I wanted to love you my whole life.
But what is happening now.
Are we drifting apart?
could we?
If you had all this love,
would you let it go?
Please don't give up on me,
i'm not giving up on you.
Hold on.
Wait.
I still want you.
If you want this love,
you have to go through the pain.
are you prepared?
or not...
I want someone to die for,
I thought you were the someone to die for.
Please before you go,
Could I have done something differently?
Now I'm just someone you used to love.
But I'm so lost without you.
I call out,
but you were already gone.
And now I cry alone.
Because how could I ever love someone else?
What made you leave,
Leave me brokenhearted.
You hurt me a lot,
but I don't want to ever lose these bruises you left behind.
Every night,
I'm jealous of the sheets that hug your body.
I know it didn't last,
but thank you for the happiest year of my life.
You left me,
and now I'm drowning.
Clutching your shirt you left,
Wishing it was you.
I can't fall in love without you.
Please never fall in love without me.
You said forever
You said you'd grow old with me
But where are you now?
If you ever decided to love me again,
I'll be waiting.
I'm waiting.

You release a balloon,
And it floats to the moon.
Symbolic of life,
Traveling to new horizons.
The soul isn't lost,
It's freed.

My heart has been infected,
Infected by a plague.
A plague that was once neglected,
And is yet somehow still vague.
It has changed me in a way,
Changed by finding my true self.
My heart, for this plague, has had to pay,
But what it has gained is of greater wealth.
My heart has been torn in two,
And one half has been given away.
Some for me and more for you,
I hope in you my heart will stay.
My heart has been infected,
By what you might ask?
My heart has been infected,
Infected by another,
Infected by a truth,
Infected by a lover.
My heart is infected by you.

We sigh and say,
"I hope that happens someday."

But I want to know,
How will it show?
When is "someday,"
Going to be today?

And when "someday" finally arrives,
Will I know that "someday" has come?
Will I realize that it is now?

Or will hindsight only tell,
Of how that day,
That "someday"
Was today?

I don't want the world to see me.
Because they wouldn't understand.

They say it isn't personal.
But it is.
When life throws it all at you.
Every heartbreak,
Every betrayal,
When every person,
Who you thought was a friend,
Breaks your trust.
It is Life saying, "I have a personal vendetta against you."
What do I do?

How,
After years of mistakes,
After pushing you away,
Are you still there?

I keep looking up,
Broken,
Expecting you to be gone.

But ever time I do.,
I am bewildered.
Bewildered that you are still there.
Bewildered by Love.

Promise me,
If you are hurting,
If you are lost,
Even if you hate me,
Promise me,
That you will call.
Because I promise you,
I will always be here.
Always.

"Sometimes,
Bitter memories
Become bittersweet,
When you share them with a friend."

Now she is gone.
Someone I truly loved.
Her name means everlasting beauty.

She is dear to my heart.
The one I could tell anything and everything

She is my sister.
My only sister.

And now she has left.
Moved on to new things.
To a new life.
One without me.

I am going to miss her.
No,
I already miss her.

So much to do.
Yet Bored.

Relaxed day.
So Tired.

Could do great things.
But Fill my day with empty acts instead.

Why.
Why can't I just be productive?

I can.
I will.
I will stop writing poetry just to fill time.
I go now to make the world a better place.
One act of intention at a time.

Will I see you there?

Smile,
Look nice,
Wear makeup,
They tell me.

Talk to friends,
Talk to Strangers,
Talk to us,
They tell me.

Eat quietly,
Be generous,
Serve others,
They tell me.

But what if I am not okay?
Makeup can't hide what is inside.
Maybe others won't see it,
But I can't escape.
I can't escape the emptiness.
The pain.
The longing.
Longing to belong,
To be loved,
To love.

So I get down on my knees.
And after prayer,
I know I belong
I am loved.
I love.

And so in truth,
I smile.
I look nice,
But not of my own doing.
My joy is not from me.
My joy is showing through the cracks.
The cracks formed by heartbreak,
Betrayal,
And loss.

But those cracks,
They enable the treasure inside to shine out.
So that all around can see,
I belong in Christ,
I am loved by my Savior,
And I love Him.

Beautiful
That is what he thought I was.
But I am poisonous.
Deadly and beautiful, the greatest contradiction,

I long to be loved.
But I know that anyone who loves me,
I can't help love back.
But whenever someone gets that close,
My poison transfers to their heart.
Until the one I love, dies.

So I don't let anyone love me.
I don't allow myself to love.
The consequences are too great.
And I can't lose you.
Not again.

The girl was young.
There was lightning in her eyes.
She was small but fierce,
There was lightning in her eyes.
Her face was solemn with lost innocence,
There was lightning in her eyes.

Fists clenched and jaw tightened at the sounds of injustice.
There was lightning in her eyes.
With barely controlled zeal she approached the scene,
With lightning in her eyes.
In impassioned tone, she released her fury,
With lightning in her eyes.
One word led the oppressors to the gloom of the grave,
The lightning flashed in her eyes.

Her frail body suddenly weighed much more,
The lightning in her eyes flickered.
Those she had freed cautiously approached.
The lightning gaze fixed on them and softened.
A boy came near and held her failing strength together,
He saw the lightning in her eyes.
In one last sacrificial gesture,
The girls instructed him in ancient lyric,
And the lightning left her eyes.

And as the boy stood,
There was lightning in his eyes.

Do you ever get cold,
And not know why?
You find yourself clenching your teeth
For no reason.
Shivers run their course down your spine,
And for a moment you don't remember.
But then the moment is gone.
He is gone.
No, he would have still been here if not for you.
You pushed him away.
You were already gone.
And now you shiver alone.