they say the eyes are the windows to the soul
what happens if the window has been broken
if tears have shattered the gateway
will the soul turn dark
will it also be broken

My name is Erin
and i was *****
at the age of 7

it has taken me
14 years of my life
for those 13 words to escape
my hollow mouth

the only questions i come to now
is why
why lock me in that room
why take everything from me
my innocence
my purity
my childhood

in that room
where my family trusted you
where i trusted you
the night terrors i have to this day
still haunt my mind

like a never ending
drive in movie that plays
over
and
over
only the moon in the night sky
isnt made to be found here
there is no light in these terrors

i cant sleep this time of year
because every time i do
its you
in that room
locking the door
shutting the windows
******* me
yelling at me
every single night
i close my eyes

it has taken me 14 years
to accept the fact that i was taken by you
i have been numb ever since
left in the dust
rotting away at the core
thinking i was nothing
thinking i deserved nothing
because you took everything

but not anymore
i will recover from this
i am strong enough
i believe in myself
i believe in my own happiness
and i promsie
that when i have children one day
i will never ever let them rot at the core
i will find happiness
the darkness will not take over this time

a scream down an empty hallway.
that's what it feels to think about it.
as broken air conditioner hums along,
the darkness shrouding the actions of a man I did not know,
who's hands were in places they didn't belong,
and I wonder if that night from my childhood,
will ever really be gone.
I couldn't say no,
If I didn't know what was going on.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
I spoke words that no one heard
I see, An innocent smile and sparkly eyes.
I closed my mouth and spoke in tears...

i didnt fall in love with this boy,
not this one
                     who tore me to pieces,

and i feel like an angel ,
suffocated in white, my wings were clipped
on the first day you
                                  wanted to kiss me,

and it feels violent,
disgusting,
my halo wasn’t built just to break —

and i did not forgive you,
i never will .

because you were never meant to go to heaven.

“i love you”
those words
                      d
                         r
                           i
                             p
                               p
                                 e
                                   d
                                      from his lips
i believed his deceitful manner
his charisma, it was alluring

if there is
something
that can ease
my longing
for you,
it’s memories
of you
etched
in words.