watching the same collage video on a loop of
leaves drying up
snow melting under the surface of a sweating floor
you leap up to grab me but there's only a cloud of moonlight coming through your window
you feel the arresting tackle of all the butterflies leaping out of your chest with rapid eye movement like the eyelash kisses you would give the mirror
the fluttering turning their wings into  heavy blades that leave a pinkish glow on your chest

my name was worn out that spring and you never learned to turn the light on at night

Mixed with shame,
A tint of red that calls my name.
Tiptoe around the subject,
Or else you’ll see me burst.
Holding all these things inside
Makes me feel worse.

You have been looking at a broken clock for years now
Always waiting for the right time to come

I want
To breathe
To understand
What's wrong with me
I feel like this is temporary
This
newness
But I know it's permanent
The loneliness
I keep going
but I don't want to

Sometimes I wonder if
I’m the only one who sees my gift
as a curse,
and my curse as a gift.

If life gives you lemons
just be thankful it’s not a lime,
and when squeezing it
avoid getting the juice in your eye this time.