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thesa Feb 2019
your promise said
you would be there for me
anytime
so i guess
you just happened to fly away

but tell me
how does it feel
to be so high
yet
too far away to hold me
inspired by "without me" by halsey
thesa Jan 2019
because it feels like
you're drowning
not being able to breathe

you're drowning
but you just can't
die
thesa Jan 2019
it is suffocating
to be surrounded
by so much happiness
and not be able
to feel it
thesa Jan 2019
i know
you are scared
because you feel unsafe
i know
you are in pain
and that you feel misplaced

please
take my hand
and trust me

there will come a time
when you will know
what happiness felt like
there will come a time
when you will receive
the love you give to others
but most important
there will come a time
when this pain will stop
and these tears will dry

let me tell you
you will recover
from the thoughts that drown you
and from the ways
you were used to handle them
you will learn
to not think of everything
as your fault
but to find beauty
in the imperfection
and you will understand
how much you matter

let me tell you
you will be healing
as the scars
on your body and soul are fading
you will be grateful
for building up your place
in life's majestic maze
and you will become
the person you wanted to be
strong and wonderful
loving and loved
by so many others
however by yourself at first

finally
you will discover
how to put together
all the shattered pieces

you won't be perfect
and neither will you ever
want to be it again

- because now i know
i'm perfect just the way i am
thesa Jan 2019
every step i take
my soul and body ache

and still
i hope
that by the end of the day

i will feel love
instead of hate
beauty
in all the pain
as if new life
rushes through my veins

because i'm human
which no longer means

i fall down
but
get up
and grow old
not
die young
to be proud
of
what i've done

it was a long way
and i took different paths
to form myself
how i am, act and love

but just as hurt
has a domino effect
so does healing

which i discovered
to be
thesa Jan 2019
i offered you my weakness
and you comforted me
while getting consumed
by my demons

how could i
hurt you
like this
how could i make you handle
my craziness

i beg you
forgive me
please
forgive me

there’s nothing else i could say
because even an 'i love you'
won’t make you stay
thesa Jan 2019
some die
looking for a hand to hold

i got your hand
in mine
and i'm dying
nevertheless

- dear therapist
what does that say
about myself
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