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1.8k · Aug 2019
comfortable
thesa Aug 2019
i'm paralyzed
my eyes hurt and i can't stop
the voices inside my head

tell me
which sense does the cure have
when i was comfortable
in my insanity
1.6k · Nov 2019
play
thesa Nov 2019
we played hide and seek by the rivers
and sometimes i would chase you

but never would you chase me
and when i asked why
you smiled because

love to you
was just a game
1.5k · Mar 2019
°°°
thesa Mar 2019
i eat but don't taste
i sleep but don't rest
i laugh but don't heal
i love but can't feel
i like keeping it short at the moment
1.4k · Mar 2019
1 am
thesa Mar 2019
touch me carefully
i am broken already
941 · Mar 2019
...
thesa Mar 2019
...
the morning after we broke up
my coffee became cold
untouched
as my body went numb
unloved
879 · Apr 2019
reincarnation
thesa Apr 2019
it was you to tell me, angels can fly
so i let myself fall for you
and as you promised, i wasn't tumbling

until you broke my heart
and then my wings

but regardless of all the pain it seems
as if to be reborn, i had to die first
752 · Jan 2019
dear therapist
thesa Jan 2019
some die
looking for a hand to hold

i got your hand
in mine
and i'm dying
nevertheless

- dear therapist
what does that say
about myself
739 · Sep 2019
<>
thesa Sep 2019
<>
i never thought
that was possible

but here i am
still trying to catch the breath
i lost when my eyes met yours
729 · Jan 2019
domino effect
thesa Jan 2019
every step i take
my soul and body ache

and still
i hope
that by the end of the day

i will feel love
instead of hate
beauty
in all the pain
as if new life
rushes through my veins

because i'm human
which no longer means

i fall down
but
get up
and grow old
not
die young
to be proud
of
what i've done

it was a long way
and i took different paths
to form myself
how i am, act and love

but just as hurt
has a domino effect
so does healing

which i discovered
to be
720 · Apr 2019
forget-me-not
thesa Apr 2019
'you are just like these flowers'
you said softly
pointing out the forget-me-nots to me

'not only because they're beautiful
but because they had to take the rain
and to survive every storm
to be able to grow'
715 · Apr 2019
art
thesa Apr 2019
art
if people were canvas
i was a blank sheet
and you were the masterpiece
712 · Jan 2019
night pt. 2
thesa Jan 2019
nights are grateful
i live for
this dark and quiet time

maybe
i’m in love with nights because
just as their environment
is inhuman
i am either
690 · Mar 2019
///
thesa Mar 2019
///
currently i'm falling
but never asleep
659 · Sep 2019
addicted
thesa Sep 2019
with my head on your chest
i listen to your heartbeat
and i know i've promised
i would never get addicted

but please tell me
how i'm supposed to stop
falling for you
645 · Apr 2019
home
thesa Apr 2019
i swear
every time your lips meet mine
i lose it
i lose everything

it seems as if
we are our own universe
and you are and will always be
my focal point

i’ll be drawn to you
from where ever i am
i’ll be drawn directly into your arms
for you to welcome me home
636 · Mar 2019
what if
thesa Mar 2019
what if
we had talked more
what if
we had tried harder
what if
we had loved purer

would i then
have been good enough?
577 · Jul 2019
easy to love
thesa Jul 2019
'don't be afraid
show me your darkness'
you said
'only the light is easy to love'
566 · Feb 2019
?
thesa Feb 2019
?
you tell me you love me
but when you kiss me goodbye
why do your lips
taste like you lie
560 · Feb 2019
6 am
thesa Feb 2019
i am a mess today
and i will be the same tomorrow
536 · Feb 2019
toxic
thesa Feb 2019
i drank you
as my cure

when maybe the whole time
you have been the poison
531 · Apr 2019
the first one
thesa Apr 2019
you were the first one to look at me
as if i really was someone
worth looking at
513 · May 2019
infinity
thesa May 2019
i'm happy because i know
one day my body will dissolve into its atoms
and that's when i will reach
infinity
503 · Mar 2019
---
thesa Mar 2019
---
i knew you were gone
when i suddenly felt alone in your arms
493 · Jul 2019
soul
thesa Jul 2019
because you fed my soul
it is empty now
481 · Dec 2018
lost
thesa Dec 2018
they tell me
people need to belong
somewhere
but they can't tell me
why i don't feel like
i'd belong
anywhere

i guess
i am
too alien for earth,
still
too human for outer space
470 · Apr 2019
angel and the devil
thesa Apr 2019
last night i couldn't sleep
so i went outside to meet
the moon and his stars

they always seemed so far away
but they understood me so well
i asked the moon about you
and he told me
as much as it hurts
i'll have to let go

and to dry my tears he explained
'little angels can't keep walking with the devil
hand in hand'
467 · Apr 2019
sleep
thesa Apr 2019
we stopped saying goodnight
and i couldn't sleep anymore
458 · Mar 2019
drowning
thesa Mar 2019
you have eyes like rain, hair like waves
and your soul is as deep as the ocean

tell me
how can i resist
drowning in you
456 · May 2019
i'm not sorry
thesa May 2019
i knew i couldn't survive you
a second time
so instead of
waiting, suffering
i left

and for once
i'm not sorry
430 · Jun 2019
***
thesa Jun 2019
***
i kissed your smile
and for that one, sweet second
i swear we were infinite
428 · Aug 2019
hurricane
thesa Aug 2019
that night i held you
and your body felt so calm against mine
that i wondered

how you could sleep so tight
when there was a hurricane
rising right beside you
408 · Jan 2019
the indifferent universe
thesa Jan 2019
i like
how space doesn't care
about me

at least
it is impossible
to disappoint
the sun
403 · Aug 2019
fail
thesa Aug 2019
tell me
how many times may i still fail
until also you
will leave
401 · Jan 2019
dear little me
thesa Jan 2019
i know
you are scared
because you feel unsafe
i know
you are in pain
and that you feel misplaced

please
take my hand
and trust me

there will come a time
when you will know
what happiness felt like
there will come a time
when you will receive
the love you give to others
but most important
there will come a time
when this pain will stop
and these tears will dry

let me tell you
you will recover
from the thoughts that drown you
and from the ways
you were used to handle them
you will learn
to not think of everything
as your fault
but to find beauty
in the imperfection
and you will understand
how much you matter

let me tell you
you will be healing
as the scars
on your body and soul are fading
you will be grateful
for building up your place
in life's majestic maze
and you will become
the person you wanted to be
strong and wonderful
loving and loved
by so many others
however by yourself at first

finally
you will discover
how to put together
all the shattered pieces

you won't be perfect
and neither will you ever
want to be it again

- because now i know
i'm perfect just the way i am
390 · Jan 2019
the first words of 2019
thesa Jan 2019
for 2018
i wished so many things
i wished
2018
would bring me joy
would bring me love
would bring me luck
and only during 2018
i understood
that a year
can't bring you
what you wished for

so this 2019
i don't wish the year to bring me something,
i wish myself
to bring it

i wish myself
to bring me a smile
whenever the world feels heavy
i wish myself
to bring me warmth
wherever i'll be at
i wish myself
to bring me love
to give to me first

i wish myself
a year
better than the last was
what i wish to bring to myself in 2019 and what i wish you will bring to yourselves 2019^~^
thesa Dec 2018
we kissed
in the rain

and while the raindrops
were stroking my face
together with your fingers
that followed their trace

i felt a love
i’ve never felt before
a love
both so overwhelming
yet so pure
370 · Oct 2019
swim
thesa Oct 2019
i never learnt how to swim
yet here i am
with my head under water
and my clothes soaking wet

hoping
that the sea is more honest
with those who are willing to drown
359 · Apr 2019
the way we used to be
thesa Apr 2019
tonight
i'm drowning and you're drinking
you think i don't know that
you think i'm busy on my own
when actually i'm busy with you

you're drinking and you like it
the reason why we never drank together
is that you drink to enjoy
whereas i drink to forget

you live your perfect life
of which we pretend i was still a part
but in fact we both know that's not true
since you have no idea about me
and i have no idea about you

we lost us somewhere on the way
changing our childhood into being adults
our path split because you headed forward
when i was too scared to walk

now i'm drowning and you're drinking
and i know i shouldn't think of you
because you won't think of me
but oh hell,
how much do i miss the way we used to be
this is to a great, lost friendship.
356 · Mar 2019
~~~
thesa Mar 2019
~~~
you left quickly, without any goodbye
but with the time i tricked my tears into a smile
348 · Jan 2019
night pt. 1
thesa Jan 2019
night is my time
moist and silent
the only time
i feel safe enough
to let out my thoughts
these crippled beasts
that long for blood
341 · Apr 2019
no place like home
thesa Apr 2019
you said your home is wherever i was
so please help me understand
why i found you in her arms
334 · Jun 2019
()
thesa Jun 2019
()
i lost myself in your eyes
but now you left
and i feel like
i am gone too
334 · Mar 2019
blind
thesa Mar 2019
the wind blew dust into my eyes
but i got blinded long time ago
by falling in love with you
324 · Apr 2019
die for you
thesa Apr 2019
my love
please always remember
that even though i would instantly die for you
i will never live for you
related to one of my favorite movie scenes between Harley Quinn and The Joker - "question, Dr. Quinzel. would you die for me?" / yes / "that's too easy. would you ... would you live for me?"
289 · May 2019
the sweet pain
thesa May 2019
my therapist tells me
i should get rid of everything that's toxic in my life
however, i can't give up on you
since out of all the pain i feel
the one you cause
is the sweetest
284 · Mar 2019
ignorance / innocence
thesa Mar 2019
i understand them now
those who say ignorance is bliss
because i know so many things
i just want to forget so badly

to maybe
be able to become innocent again
284 · Jan 2019
numb pt. 1
thesa Jan 2019
it is suffocating
to be surrounded
by so much happiness
and not be able
to feel it
281 · Feb 2019
fading
thesa Feb 2019
today
we met again

my heart was pounding
against my ribcage
and i couldn't hold back
the tears

you were there
right in front of me
and i was able to see
your beauty being reflected
by the sunlight

however
i couldn't overcome our distance
and i couldn't stop my tears
when i was begging you
to come back to me
when i was telling you
how much i'm still in love
and that it's you
for whom i deeply crave

but you listened in silence
as i collapsed beside your grave
245 · Feb 2020
:')
thesa Feb 2020
:')
your smile feels like a burning

an open flame
rising from the depths of your soul

and even if i want you more
than nothing else in this world

i still have
a paper heart
243 · Mar 2020
forest
thesa Mar 2020
i never felt so much
healing

until today
i took a walk in the forest
and came out
taller than the trees
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