Distant days
With dying dreams
And desperate desires

Sky overcast, gray
Will the sun come out to play?
Let's dance in the rain

all my life
i've been preparing faces
to meet the faces that
i've met

friends
family
the man who delivers newspapers
at our doorstep each morning

i've laughed at their silly jokes
as they tossed their heads from side to side
in naive stupidity and their sheer ignorance
a pompous lot, the human race i tell you

i've acknowledged their staunch morals
and tried to make them my own
as they scorned at the girl in a skimpy dress
and chewed on mutton bones gluttonously

all my life, i've been trying hard
to blend in
with people who've shown me
that i don't belong with them

and tonight when i shed gallons of tears
i have only my bed and pillow to share
i've learnt that my sadness
is my very own

Crazy good friends
Come as a black
Haired girl
A wheelchair boy
A tall slim smile
Pink hair
And balloon shreds
Popped out
On the deck
Running down the halls
Laughing until sides stop
French words faded
Next week
Too far away
Five weeks later
Still sitting
And dreaming
Curled up on
A leather couch
Under blankets
Over life
Dripping in slime
Dancing in their eyes
A group of crazy good friends
Waiting outside

Try as I might,
I feel lost in myself
The myriad of empty rooms
Emptied in itself
Closed doors in my mind
I have trapped myself

Is there any hope
That I might find myself?

It's all about
The attention you get
Not from poetry

That's a bath
of unmatching
Angst

Uncounted syllables
and unrhymed
utterances

Splashing about like
some lower form
of soul

Raisins are needed
to offset
your parched

Appreciation and
foregiveness
that suicide themselves

in that barren
self
you call home