sometimes darkness
indulge you in sheer tranquility
and eliminates the mists

I have never owned a pet
I borrowed them from God
to test my humanity
put another's needs first
teach me about unconditional love

there is a special place
in my heart they always have
when they go
it is a little darker and quieter
but it always belongs to them

their time is short
I want to make each day
their best and
in my clumsy selfish way
make them human

There were days
I remembered
To put my heart on my sleeve.

The other days
I hid it
So deep inside my body
I couldn’t find it for myself.

The terror of anyone finding
Me judging me
Seemed to linger in the air
I inhaled.

I don’t want to
Open my mouth
Because I’m still afraid
The truth might come out
And if it does
If it really breaks free
You’ll see what I am
You’ll see the true me
The one I hide
With jokes and lies
I’m a terrible person
All jokes aside
You don’t seem to know it
You don’t seem to see
Even a glimpse of that person
That I know to be me
I’m such a good actress
I hide it so well
Cover it with a laugh
And you’ll never tell
You see depth in my eyes
You see love and emotion
But what would you see
If I ever did open
I can’t bear to find out
I can’t bear to show
The me you don’t see
The me that I know
If I let it out
If I let it be
I know for a fact
That you would hate me.

They say "time flies when you're having fun." But I don't remember having any fun.
And I know I'm not the only one.
I remember working. Fighting about money. But, for the life of me, I don't remember my kid being much bigger than a bunny.
I remember being stressed in great detail.
I even remember daydreaming
about getting a boat and sailing away.
But of all the things I wish I could remember,
I wish I knew where the time had gone.
Where my life had gone.