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Bansi Adroja Sep 2024
Do you ever wonder what will be left when we're gone?

Will it be the meeting invites
The spreadsheet that are the final final final draft

The days leaving home in the dark
And returning when it's even darker

Time away from the people we love
The things we want
Ideas of who we'd rather be

Are our lives just passing deadlines?

An endless cycle of things to circle back on
To put a pin in
And take offline

Are we anything but idling as the days pass us by?
Bansi Adroja Aug 2024
I want you to ruin my life
and maybe yours at the same time

I want you to tell me you love me
even if you don't
because for a moment it could be nice
to just be in the wrong

We could sit amongst the rubble
talk about the meaning of it all
as if any of it matters

I want you and I know I shouldn't
I'm just searching for validation
while you look for an exit sign

But, maybe it'd be nice
to set it all on fire and fall for a line
Bansi Adroja Jul 2024
It wasn't just one thing

It was the minutes that felt like hours idling in the driveway
not wanting to go inside

It was the solo trips to the supermarket
for some space to breathe
just a moment of relief

It was the feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing that I was running late
and it would end in a fight

It was the time you made me cry on my birthday
or any random Tuesday

It was the not knowing who I was anymore

It was never being enough
because it was never just one thing
Bansi Adroja Jul 2024
I wonder if you think about me as much as I think about you

If you lay awake staring at the ceiling at three am
thinking about kisses in the corners of parties
we didn’t want to go to

Walking the long way home as if we don’t feel the cold
dizzy and drunk under street lights and stars
lost somewhere in the city arm in arm

The sound of your voice on the back of my neck
on lazy Sundays when we have no reason to leave the bed

I wonder if any of this would make sense to you

If you romanticise us in the same way I do
Bansi Adroja Jul 2024
I want to tell you about my morning coffee,
the article I read last week,
and all the ways I got my heart broken when I was seventeen

I want to hear about the nights you barely remember,
about the days that feel like too much,
and everything in between
Bansi Adroja Jun 2024
You were my entire night sky
Now I drive home in the dark without looking up

The songs that reminded me of you still play on the radio
But I don't think of that summer in the city when I hear them anymore

I fell in love again
And I want to tell you I hate it because it's not the same
It never could be

Seasons change and so did we
I'm better now in some ways but without you feels worse

And I wonder if you feel the same
Bansi Adroja Jun 2024
I talk about you to the girls like we're behind the music block
inhaling cigarette smoke
dreading double maths

As if love is all new
and it's the 00s

I talk about you in a way that makes me sick
because these days I'm far from young
and this is a story I've already told

An ending that I already know
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