Sometimes I cry myself to sleep,
Over all the promises I made I couldn't keep. Pain rushes through down to my feet,
I dunno if I can keep up with the heat.
Head hung low,
time moves slow,
searching for the answers that I didnt know. Battling the demons inside my head, replaying the things I wish I never said.
One decision away from making the biggest mistake,
trusting the people that turned out to be fake. My life's a battle that gets harder to face, living with dreams that get harder to chase. One chance one shot,
Is all that we got.
I just want to be me rather than something I'm not.
Will it matter in the end?
Cause I'm really tired of having to pretend.

****. I can't believe I made it,
my peace every night I prayed for it.
Yeah I was in love I thought I found the one,
Until the day came where I was completely done.
When the love stopped and the hate just begun.
Man I begged for the light I cried for my sanity,
I looked for the confidence I no longer had within me.
Blood drippin on the floor,
just hoping I could make it to the door,
Scars left inside that I just can't ignore.
They expect you to get over it fast,
but on god they don't know my past,
I really thought we was supposed to last.
They say when they show you who they are believe them the first time,
But I would shake it off and say I'm fine.
I'm not okay I'm not alright,
I never won cause I didn't wanna fight.
Most times I gave up just so you can be right.
****..
What happened to me??
Where accepting abuse was okay to me?
Where being myself was no longer allowed for me?
**** who am I supposed to be?
How did I get to a spot where I lost all reality?
****..
It's like it came to you almost naturally.
How could I be so blind,
How was it so easy for you to loose your mind,
.. ****..
I guess your love was never really mine.
I played the fool to your messed up game,
Never again will I fall in love the same.

I'm afraid
To make you
My muse
Because if
You break my heart
I'll have
A book of poems
That I'll
Never want to read

If I could, I would capture you in my eyes and turn blind out of the fear of losing you
but then there is this thought
that opens my eyes.

If I could, I would cuddle you all day and all night till eternity
but then there is this thought
and I refrain from touching you..

When you smile
I simply want to freeze the time
but then there is this thought
that takes away the time from my clutches.

I want to spend countless sleepless nights
by just wondering about you
but then there is this one thought
that envelopes me with slumber of despair.

I want to write a lot,
express tons of feelings
but then there is this thought
and I feel helpless.

  "Kyon *** main tera raahi,
                     Jab tu hai kisi aur ki manzil"

Thinking is not doing,
Doing is doing,
And lately,
I have been thinking a lot,
And it gets in the way of doing,
Whenever I make myself do,
All I am missing is the rest,
And to stop, look, rest and think...

When the price of togetherness becomes loneliness
Your path should be clear
Your heart is screaming for redemption
But you lower yourself below yourself
Scrambling
Clawing
But the end result will be the same
Best love yourself in solitude
Than hate your life in love

You see,
I may come off as strong,
But the problem with being "the strong one",
The one who always offers a hand to everyone,
Is that, t have no one to hold mine.

They think I don't need anyone,
They think I have no problems, no worries,

BUT,
even I fall asleep crying,
And say nothing's wrong,

Because nobody knows,
That I really am lying,
That no one is so strong......