There's something about you

That blows my mind so completely.

I want to stand on the edge of a cliff

And shout my love for you to the stars

You saved me yesterday
When the rolling clouds were dark

The wind, like a hurricane,
Was whipping through my heart

It was beating just as loud as the thunder over head
All i felt was dread

The ground shook with emotion
While i tried to hold it in

But my mind felt like exploding from the pain that i was in

Then you, stranger, walked on by
And took me by surprise

Grabbed my hand, pulled me up,  looked into my eyes

All you said was 'hi'
And i felt that could breathe

My heart, though it stayed racing
Stopped pounding in my sleep

Angry clouds above me
Started to evaporate

The walls that surrounded me
Began to dissipate

And though the world was shining
Once again renewed

I couldn't take my eyes off of the beauty that was you

Are you a dream or are you real
Cuz thats exactly how i feel
When i
Talk to you

Never seen a face before
That makes me feel so unsure
Just like
You

I swear that you're glowing
But you act so unknowing
How do you
Do that?

You seem so insecure
But I'm not sure what for
You are
Beautiful
Beautiful

Your mind blows fresh air into mine
And brings joy back to life
I need
You

If i close my eyes
Will i be on the other side
Of this
Dream

Are you real or
Just a
Dream

The bright summer sun warms my skin

instead of energy, it puts me to sleep

Gone are the days, id run and play

And the joy i wish i could keep
  
  The smell in the air is nostalgic

Of a memory just out of reach

Not sure if its real or i dreamt it

But its of one i can no longer see
  
  Is the laughter from my past a real sound?

Or something id wished i had heard?

Memories fade so much with time

And recalling them seems so absurd

   You havent been here for a while

These memories keep coming in waves

Feeling so lost yet familiar

Something i cant get back or replace

I'd scream

If I weren't

Empty


But I'm

Mumbling

Through this line

I'm sorry, I don't get it
Had my head down for a minute
So just quit it

I think my heart stopped
For like five
And suddenly I've
Been revived

I'm still
Dead
And I'm terrified
That I can't remember
The last time I cried

Hey

I'd scream if I weren't empty
But I'm mumbling

I'm Mumbling

Through this line

I hide it so good baby
I hide it so well
You'll never know babe
I'm going through hell

It's not the first time
First time that I'll die
All on the inside
Not the first time I've cried

It's not the last time
I'm saying good
bye
It's not the last time
Last time that I lie

Just want you to know
Babe, I've got to go
I say it so easy
But you don't even know

I hide it so good baby
I hide it so well
It's not the first time
I've escaped from hell

It doesn't matter what I do
I was made to worship you
Kiss the ground that's held your feet
Fight for you, never retreat
Hold you up when you are down
Give you breath before you drown
But I am not perfect
I can't do it all
No matter what I do
You make me feel small

Can't you just let me be me again
I'm tired of letting you in
The walls that I've built are wearing thin
Please let me be me again

I'm losing control of my mind again
Voices inside, and I hold them in
I'm trying, but my brain is caving in
The pain never stops
I should know

I want to be free to be me again
Build up the strength to smile again
Hear my own thoughts like they're mine again
But the voices wont stop
I should know

Is that me or the me you used to know
Am I here, am I there, where did i go?
I just wanted to let you know
I thought i was me but I'm them
I want to be me again
But that me is long gone
I should know

Shhh
I can hear you thinking
Screaming in your head
Wishing you were someone else
Wishing you were dead

Shhhhh
I can hear your heart pounding
Faster, harder than it should
I can see it in your eyes
How you feel misunderstood

Shhh
It'll be ok, I promise
No more tears, no more fears
But right now I need the silence
I cant think past my own bleeding ears

Wind
Please blow my dreams away

They hurt too much to stay

I'll never see the day

Wind
Please blow away my dreams

She's drowning in her tears
Silently
Behind her mask
This is the world now

Trapped in your own mind
You lost your soul
And you knew it from the start
That youd never gain control
The chains around your wrists
Held you high upon the wall
Blinded by this sight
That made you think you had it all
Pushed away from the reality
Of knowing your all alone
No one out there sees you
A bird that's never flown
You never leave the cage your in
Never knock down the walls you've built
But I see you crying in them
And drowning in your guilt

(no title yet)

Let me lay my head on your shoulder
Tell you all my fears
About how we're getting older
And losing all our years
How time is being wasted
Feeling empty and alone
Regretting never doing
The things we've never known
Let's talk about the past
Because theres no hope to our future
Those memories won't last
And we arent getting any cuter
Why does it go so quickly
So soon we meet our maker
Time moves much more swiftly
Now we're all just fakers
Let me lay my head on your shoulder
And tell you all my fears
About how we're getting older
And losing all our years
Watch them slip by together
That's how I want it to be
But your never here to listen
The only one drowning is me

The way I miss you
Makes it hard to breathe sometimes

The way I miss you
Makes it hard to breathe

The way I miss you
Makes it hard to see sometimes

Makes it hard to see
You've become a stranger to me

Life has made the smallest turn
It's big for me because the past still burns
Obsessive thoughts still flood my mind
Leaving me weary, gaurded, blind

When everything seems to be ok
There's always something that stands in the way
I don't want another shady observation
Another angry confrontation

So I sit back and let the world go by
Ignore what I hope is my troubled mind
Silently pleading my heart to watch it's step
Begging for it to never forget

I feel the world closing off again
I feel it
The walls are caving in again
I feel it
Emotions are draining
But they aren't worth saving
I'm feeling so alone again
I feel it


I wake up in a panic
Alone
I can't breathe when I'm the only one home
Where is my peace
Where is my strength
It's gone when
I'm alone

I wake up in a panic
And your next to me
I can't breathe when I feel like I'm suffocating
I'm alone even when your talking to me
I have no strength to fight it
I feel it

It's cold hands grab my neck
And it squeezes
If I believed I would pray that Jesus
Would save me from the ice spreading down my spine
But instead I keep it trapped in my mind
And I feel it

I feel the world closing off again
I feel it
I know I'm the burden then
I feel it
I try not to let the walls cave in
But I'm weak and they aren't paper thin
I feel it
Emotions are draining
But they aren't worth saving
I feel it
I feel it
I feel it

It's an epidemic,

A widespread occurrence,

A pandemic plague,

A wide-range extensive

Infectious disease,

Called loneliness

You stole my heart

In the end, you gave it back destroyed

Maybe that's why I can't let go

Your still covered in it's blood

And it pulls me towards you

Too weak to carry on alone

I've learned from my point of view
There's no one more dangerous than you

I wish that your words were believable

I wish your fingers didn't burn when they touch my skin

I wish what I want was achievable

But we can't just start again

I wish that you want me more than I need you

I wish we could fix what was done before it got this far

I wish that I could move on, I need to

You still hold my heart, covered in scars

You hold the knife and you use it

I hold my life and abuse it

Theres nothing keeping either one of us here

Except our own fear, my need to be near

Your need to see clear

I wish that things happened for a reason

I was told to fight for what I believed in

After all this time, why do I still believe in you

Your the one that tore me in two

I wish shooting stars were magical

I wish that feeling lost was a way to begin

I wish we weren't so asymmetrical

I wish our love wasn't so thin

She's resilient
Brilliant
Strong
Brave
She's determined
Observant
Knows just what
To say
She's Courageous
Outrageous
Tenacious
Extreme
She's astounding
Resounding
Abounding
Undreamed
She's exciting
Inspiring
Inviting
Insightful
She's striking
Like lightening
Brightening
Delightful

I wish she could see what I see
As I look in the mirror and she looks back at me

If I could find a way to say
"I love you" that you'll believe
I'd say it that way every day
Then maybe you will see
The way I see you, and believe me
It's not always a pretty sight
And that's ok, no ones perfect
So let me tell you it's alright
Because I see strength
Where you see weak and I'd love to let you know
That that, my friend, is how it works
When it's time for you to grow

If I could find a way to say
"I love you" and you'll hear me
I'd say it that way every day
Until you finally believe

I wanted to be someone
I wanted to make a difference
I wanted to be important
Oh stupid childhood dreams

How you lead on the innocent
Just to break their heart

I threw my phone
Broke it
Not the first time either

This time though
I lost the only thing i really wanted

The voicemails that i will never hear again

I'll never be able to listen to you say
I love you
Again

I wish you were still here

You taught me to love myself
When I couldn't
You taught me to hate myself
When I shouldn't
You taught me how ugly I am
On the inside
You taught me how dumb I am
In my mind
You taught me to hate more
To relate more
To live more
To love less

You taught me
That I'm a mess

I can't stop thinking about her
Her hair, her smile
The pictures I've seen
Videos you've taken
Are forever embedded in my brain

I can't stop thinking about her
How you chose her
over me

I have a dream
Where life is simple
And money grows on trees
I have a dream
Where people are friends
And not possible enemies
I have a dream
Where we all laugh
About the things that make us mad
I have a dream
Where hurtful things
Don't really hurt as bad
I have a dream

We still have conversations
But we don't have much to say
I listen to your stories
That you tell me everyday
Sometimes there's something new
Sometimes nothing at all
I don't really care much
I love listening to you talk
I don't have much going on
There's not much to say myself
I wish I wasn't boring
I wish I was someone else
I can't hold your attention
You don't really want it anyway
But maybe if I had it
I'd have more to say
So please keep on talking
It keeps the air light
I don't like when there's nothing
To do except for fight

It's funny how
When I don't feel like talking to anyone
No one talks to me

It's funny how
When I need someone to talk to
No one talks to me

It's funny how
Alone I am
But I deserve this
It's fate
My destiny

full moon bright

with sun reflected light

why cant i be like you

I see the way you look at me
Empty eyes still smiling
Like you don't think that I can see
Inside your mind and it's humbling
After all these years you consider me
Nothing more than an enemy

The way you touch me burns my skin
Begging me to let you in
A stupid war that I can't win
Everyday the way it begins
After all these years, a struggle within
Looking past your loveless grin

The way you smile blinds my sight
Weakens me against your lies
The way I want you makes me cry
Knowing what I know inside
After all these years It's hard to fight
Against the empty in your eyes

I have no more expectations
I don't believe your truths
I have no limitations
I'm turning into you
The only thing I never wanted
Was for us to not succeed
I have no hope to see that now
I only have my greed
I can only do my best
While your doing your absolute worst
I can only keep trying
Make sure you see me first
I only have what I accept
You have what I don't see
While your trying to find someone else
I'm hating that I'm me

I live a life of regrets

A life of constant no rest

A life that needs a drastic change

A life that seems so distant and strange

I live a life of regrets

I'd open my mouth and speak my mind

If it would even matter

The more I see, the less try

To hide the constant clatter

I live a life of regrets

It's too hard

It's too hard and I can't take it

I'm too weak

And I'm tired of trying to fake it

Help me now

Because I know that I won't make it

In my eyes, I'm not perfect
There are way too many flaws
In my eyes, I deserve it
The way I've let myself fall
In my eyes, i'm not special
I'm nothing to brag about
In my eyes, I'm not worth it
I'm just too much to figure out

In my eyes, I'm broken
Disfigured, disgusting
In my eyes, I'm weak
Nobody, nothing
In my eyes, I will always
Always be alone
In my eyes, the world would be better off
If i was never known


I wish I was blind

I'd rather sit here and cry
Than do anything about the reason why

That's just who i am, no one understands
Neither do I

I'd rather sit here and pout
Feeling sorry for myself

Because starting over is way too hard
Even though there's no way to work things out

I know I'll have to do this somehow
But I'd rather keep trying and fail

I already know things only get worse
As soon as they start to go stale

Golden wings across the sky
And you wonder why she cant wait to die
Because she can see him, graceful and free
His love for all humanity
Secretly praying he'll come for her
Secretly hoping he'll see
The life she has to live
The person she pretends to be

My soul it is too gentle
It makes me feel the pain
That it feels when it cant sleep
And its driving me insane
My soul it is too weak
To continue day to day
to keep pretending i'm happy
to keep pretending i'm ok

There are better dreams in memories

         Than memories in dreams

Your silence is the way you tell me
You don't really care
The way you say you'll be there
When your never really there
They way your eyes look through me
Like I'm not here at all
The way you've let me go
The way you've let me fall
How you never hear me
When I'm about to lose it all
Even when I'm screaming
Even when I have to crawl
They way your shoulder moves away
When you said that I could lean
The way your words are either
Too gentle or too mean
The way you say you hate your life
But only next to me
The way you say you understand
But never really see
The way you think I'll let you down
Isn't really fair
Your silence is the way you tell me
You don't really care

I'm always looking forward
To a day that won't exist
Where I can face my demons
Where I can shake my fists
I'd fight for what I'm dying for
Instead of dying to be sick
A day that's better than the last
A day that I can pick
I'm always looking forward
To a day that won't  exist
A day where I can show my pride
A day better than this
And I always get my hopes up
Just to feel the weight of fake
Hopes and dreams and memories
Waiting just to take
My love and breath away from me
There has to be a day
Where I can live it happily
And not have to walk away
Yet my days consist of
Heavy fog and mist
Because I'm waiting for a day
That will never exist

Why am I the outcast
Who was I to know
That everybody tires
Of the ones who love them most
Why am I being punished
What did I do wrong
Why do you have to push me away
When I've tried so hard for so long
Why can't I give up on you
When your already so far gone
I've secluded myself, I have no one
And you said you want me to move on
Why am I the one
With the broken heart
Why is your life
Being ruined
Why won't family talk to me
Why am i turned away
No one in this world wants love from me
No one has ever stayed
Why have I been outcasted
Why have I been pushed away
Why can't somebody love me
Why can they not stay
Is everyone a liar?
Is everyone like you?
Or is it me that's the tragedy
Why do they hate me more than you

It's a different kind of lonely
That brings you to your knees
That makes you shake and quiver
That makes your tears run free
It's a different kind of lonely
That cracks your ribs wide open
So that the world can see inside
And run from what's been broken
It's a different kind of lonely
And you'll be judged because you are
A different kind of person
Who cant hide your ugly scars
It's a different kind of lonely
With a different kind of fear
A different genetic make- up
You see a different type of clear
No one else can see it
How the world is really made
It's a different kind of lonely
        And that is why
           They are so
               Afraid

This is my lonely life
Where silence swallows up my voice
And traps my thoughts beneath its ice
This is my lonely life

This is my lonely life
I've left everything behind for this
Greatfully accepted this
Walked into a war for this
This is my lonely life

This is my lonely life
Where nothing matters anymore
No one cares what's in store
Where bitter words have become a bore
And I only seem to want more
This is my lonely life

Hello broken person,

Are you empty just like me?

Do you feel so much it hurts enough

To bring you to your knees?

Are you confused or frustrated

Over why you can never be

Someone who can find the time

To unsee what we have seen?

Hello broken person,

I am empty, and just like you

I have fought a thousand battles

And somehow made my way through

It hasn't gotten easier

I dont think it ever will

They say that time is healing,

But only time can tell

Hello broken person,

Are you empty just like me?

Have you had enough? Do you feel numb?

Are you sure you can even breathe?

Does it feel like exsanguination,

But it's coming from your heart?

Do you feel a void so big

That its tearing you apart?

Have you heard of an antidote,

Some sort of remedy?

Something that will help us out

I'm tired of being empty