I still remember the day when you sent me that message, I laughed for fifteen minutes straight
At first it was nothing especially but somehow I knew you would change my life
I became a happy person the moment I became aware that you exist in my world
I always thought it would be easy to stand in front of you and say how I felt
And now I'm standing in front of you, looking into your eyes but I forgot to talk
I don't recall any words but have so much to tell you
You helped me when no one else was there for me, you saved my life many times not knowing that
And I don't know how can I thank you
But there's no place for concern, I have beyond infinite for that

Hearts don't erase,
Like scars on faces
Change from grave to strange
In a matter of days;
They never go away

why did you cheat on me
it ran through my mind
that I never got the closure
I needed to unwind this
haunting question on my mind
was it me or was it you
did I do something to deserve this
could I have prevented this
was this punishment for something I did
I couldn't wrap my brain around it
and like a snake it suffocated me
until I eventually blacked out all feelings
do you realize sleep was now not a luxury to me
because to sleep meant I had to dream
of the memory of you with her
I mean not me
to be awake meant to think
meant to play it on repeat until
it started to devour me
why would you cheat
when it meant breaking me
do you realize I'm broken
with or without you
I wish I never meet you

When I look at my Grandma,
I see my mother's hands,
my aunt's brown hair,
my uncle's brown eyes,
and their brother's smile.

When I look at my Grandma,
I see the love she has for her family,
the quiet wisdom from years of observing,
and the leather bound book she holds
so close to her heart.

When I look at my Grandma,
I see many mornings spent at the kitchen table,
and many evenings spent at the sink or stove.
I see the jewelry,
and high-healed shoes
that I would retreat to in her dimly lit bedroom.

When I look at my Grandma,
I see love,
values,
family,
and incredible strength.

When I look at my Grandma,
I see that age,
time,
sickness,
and her own decaying body,
cannot touch
what she has left behind.

m.e.

Sometimes I feel forgotten.
My friends hang out, meet new people, and here I sit alone. Silence is deadly, but my thoughts are deafening. I get promises of meeting them, but those words are just forgotten. Just like me.

Sometimes I feel weak.
I feel like I have no walls to keep me safe, and that I tear myself down but for what? I feel stupid because I can't fix myself, and the holes in my dam break and flood my mind.

Sometimes I'm misunderstood.
People constantly say they understand, but if they did they would recognize I have a problem, not that I want to be that way. I think negativity so I can't see a good side to things because that's all I'm fed.

Sometimes I'm wrong.
Sometimes I'm wrong in a argument, but when I know that you make me feel like a 5 year old child who's still learn to be their own human, and I am. But why walk out a victor and me and loser, when we both can be winners.

Sometimes I cause my own problems.
I do things I know are wrong, but I do them anyway. I shame and stress myself. I tell myself I have to pick myself up, and work to the top again.

Sometimes I don't need my space.
I hate being out all day, because I'm so used to being home all the time, I feel like I'm betraying something. But I don't know what. Maybe sometime you should ask me outside and help me get over it.

Or forget me like the rest of us.