I find myself doing the things you used to do.
The way you'd bite your lip when you were thinking.
The way you'd put your hands together
During a scary movie.

I find myself mimicking the little things
That I loved about you.
And it breaks my heart to feel this;
That I can't get you out of my head.

Your actions, your smile, your voice:
They're imprinted in my brain.
You became a part of me
And I think that's what made it hurt so much
When you left and took that part of me
With you, away from me.

Everybody tells me
"Just get over it"
"Move on"
"It was just a stupid summer crush"

But you were everything to me
And I don't think I'll ever be able to feel that again.
I steeled my heart and closed off my mind.

I'll never let anyone in like that again.
Never.

But sometimes... I want to

As I watched the boy with the smile give a note to another girl.
As I watched the boy with the balloon give me a smile.
As I thought I was finding my way.
As I realized I was losing my soul because of so called love.
I realized it was worth it.

Love is worth losing my soul if I can stare into his eyes and call him mine.

Losing my soul

A sorrow and my words,
I remain the same,
Alone....

Together before like an opaque
Tear under impressions
Of time in my time,
Thoughts rein in the future
Of course without her,
    We spoke of love
While love was written
Under the quarter moon
And the night  peices
A masterful passing....
     I cannot stay here
In your company theoretical,
The memorial entombed
Into the fibers of every verse,
A past sudden,
And I remain there,
Such a melancholy being,
    Though u kept me
In the moments
I remain there in the future
Without you,
Passionate to the narrowed
Views,
Enormously grateful for sorrows
That weep today's passing,
    Oh I remain in the moment,
You reminded me to be there,
Little did I know
I would be left behind
And I don't love her anymore,
I linger perfectly imprisoned
And the words bleed,
Joyous for the mist in my eyes,
Alone with your memory
And her name is.....

But a few thoughts
Scribbled in seclusions.

Grab a feather
                                            Open your soul.

Grab some paper
                                         Make it your own.

And a small feather
                                             Shall be a brush,

And a small paper
                                        Your poems' canvas.

I want to disappear and never surface
I want to wake up and not feel
I want to smile without an aching heart

Was this heart broken by me or had the world crumbled it's light?

I see the mirage of a future, a vibrant past but as I look around I see nothing but the blurry depths of the sea, currents pulling and pushing, water forcefully rushing down my throat, filling my chest as I struggle in reflex.

It was such a cold night, too cold to be alone.

I am a failure, one who'd given up on life and was given up upon and as my body sinks deeper into this dark abyss I prayed to God for warmth.

There were days I felt relief under the torrential rain, some, light headedness as sun rays kissed my skin. I was made euphoric with simple pleasures. And in that degree, I felt pain all the same.

I resigned to the sinking of my body and the lost of sight on this lonely path but just as much I was desparate for salvation.

With effort, I came up and was washed upon the shores. It was cold, too cold. Water came out of my nose and I coughed and heaved.

I’m so tired.
I’m done loving you.
It’s exhausting to love someone who never seemed to love you back.
I’m tired of believing your words.
This is me saying goodbye.