One day
He will know everything about you
What you like for breakfast
The strange sound you make while laughing
That you always feel like
You need to prove something
But he will Tell you
That this is what makes you Special
Then he will leave
So you will stop eating breakfast
And you won't laugh anymore
Because you will start to think
That maybe, just maybe
Special is a Bad thing

When I was 10 my mum Told me that
I was special
The Next day was the First time
she told me to shut up
When I was 14 my Friends told me that
I was funny
The Next day I Heard them laugh about me
And when I was 16
You told me I was beautiful
You told me you loved me
You told me you would do anything for me
But I did not believe you
Because I learnt that people don't mean
What they say
And I did not want to get disappointed again

Darling let me tell you
About October.
You may think about Pumpkins
And Scary Costums on Halloween
But it is much more than that.
It is October
When It gets colder
And summer memories start to fade.
You think about
How It is nearly the end of the Year
And of all the Time you wasted
And the goals you did not reach.
October is not funny or beautiful
It is the time you start to feel
Lonely and numb
It is nearly over
You Keep saying
But Darling is that really
How you want to spend your life?

Last Night I got drunk with my friends
I kissed a boy with blonde hair and
beautiful blue eyes
Just as yours
Because I wanted to feel your lips
or Something similar
But when I got home
The memories of how your lips
really feel like
started to come back
So It was me
Crying on the kitchen floor
Again

On New Year’s Eve I told myself
It will get better
This year will be different
I will be stronger, prettier, happier
But now summer is over
It gets colder
And it is still me who is
lying on the bathroom floor
at 3 a.m
crying and praying to god that
Next year will be different

I drank one bottle of ***** by myself
Just so I could forget
How your fingertips felt on my Body
But now I am here
Drunk and Alone
And Even though I cant remember my own name
The only thing I can think about are
Your fingertips on my aching body
And How I am never going to feel them
Ever again