i have seen you dancing with trees
warm and familiar, with an air that is sweet
in here, you appear, you dance into being
behind my closed eyes, you're watching me breathe

here i am autumn, stretching on beyond decree
opposite these falling leaves,
you are rosy cheeks and beaming teeth
but i insist, i am convinced:
autumn is a beautiful place to be

you are all that i seek,
all i would like to believe is real
so i try to remember if you ever liked me

but you are endlessly sunlit,
hued honey-gold, and evergreen
and this half-eyed fading lucidity,
is the only place we can hope to meet
so i insist, i am convinced:
autumn is my most beautiful dream

cold air is burning my face but the feeling is muffled, far away.
i look at you, stoic menace.
you are a block of ice and i am a flurry of snowflakes, raging, cold, soft.
you ask me what the heart speaks.
i do not know how to tell you what emotion is, just like i do not know how to explain to you what i am.

(things far too familiar are seldom easy to translate into a language someone might understand, a language that is not your own, a language you've forgotten the taste of)

mountains on my shoulders feel lighter than they should, and you take lightness to mean of less matter.
perhaps you think these mountains have a hollow center, are made of feathers.
you and i are two different forms of water.
i have known ice, and you have known snow, years before today.
i have known stagnance, you have known change, you took the word like an icicle to your chest, falling too far into your cave.
pull me out, you say, and i am frost lining your windowsill.
leave me be, you say, and you are a dull fog, whispering to glass.
through the glass, we interact.
you are trapped.

i want to write a poem about you,
but your smile has stolen the words i would use

the spring brought these flowers,
and now summer has bloomed

you look at me again
you touch me
and i think i might
erode/
slip through
your fingers

knowing you won't let go
i drink my lavender tea
with agave nectar
so when you finally kiss me
you will taste
the gardens
you've planted

i can feel my heart race
like it's running somewhere
far away from here
and i decide
that it's running somewhere
with yours

nothing else matters

people change everyday
so i vow to fall in love with you
every time the sun rises

s.s

The only love I want to feel anymore
is the love of the Sea, of the trees, of mountains and rainbows and beautiful buildings, flowers and strangers and poetry, animals and books and art and everything alive,
everything I can only catch glimpses of, everything I need, which I don't have.

I need the love of the Earth, not it's people.