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 May 2018 Jason Saguinsin
Hope
Rocks stand alone
But water flows together.
Rocks may seem stronger
But water’s so much better.
It ebs and flows
Back and forth
As one machine
A rock stays static
And breaks at the forces
Of nature,
Ruining its strong facade and
Showing it’s cracked, breaking,
And eroding face
Just because it didn’t believe in water.
My baby got cakes,
and I want pan
But they only got cakes
so instead, I eat sand
A metaphor of my relationship with food.
I’m nervous to be with you,
Little fireworks dancing in my stomach.

I’m nervous to speak to you,
Afraid that I’ll end up speaking in a different language.

I’m nervous to hear you,
Something so foreign yet so familiar in my dreams.

I’m nervous to smell you,
Will you smell more like the cappucino you swirl in your cup each morning
Or more like the panettone you help your mamma make on Sunday’s?

I’m nervous to look at your eyes,
To see those beautiful chocolate brown occhi stupendi stare right back into mine,
Little do you know I’m swimming them.

I’m nervous to see those perfect lips,
Lips that I would drink in like the red wine I swallowed like a pill,
To try to forget about you.

I’m nervous to see your face,
A face that I would recognize with my hands if I were ever blindfolded.

I’m nervous to touch you,
Even the slightest brush of hands would make my body tingle.

I'm nervous for you,
what will you think of me?
I never got that addendum.
You left.
Whispered into the night.
Howled at the moon.
I never needed any sort of reason.
To feel this bad.
Your two cents won't add up to much.
 May 2018 Jason Saguinsin
Rose
All that’s left of him is a picture frame, once looked at over the armchair as coffee brews.
A bar of soap, bought for him in the winter as we slombered along to the dull sound of static.
His watch, worn day in and day out, as his world started and stopped with that watch.
And a small bag that held love letters before those who wrote them claimed them in the estate sale.

There they sit in the cold dark night. Lonely and forgotten. The aftermath of a war, and a fight he lost. And all I can hear in the darkness, is the slow ticking of that watch.
To the one I lost, missing you hits in waves and memories. You will never be lost in me heart.
 May 2018 Jason Saguinsin
may
You are better than me
in more ways than one

You are beautiful
without even trying

You are funnier than me
So many people like you

You are more talented than me
There’s literally nothing I’m good at

Well

Other than tearing myself down
And hating everything about me

While your only worries are if
Your eye makeup will match your outfit
I wish I could be a better person. Without all th worries and doubt.
I am tired of defending you
And telling all my friends that they are wrong
Stick up for you every time but I
Can only believe you for so long

I am sick of acting like I'm happy
And pretending I am fine without you
Want more than what we have now
But I am scared that dream will never come true

I need to prove you care about me
I do not want to be alone anymore
Make the suffering worthwhile
Remind me what I am doing this for

Show me you can be the man
I fell for way back when
And I promise I will do my best
To be the girl you fell in love with again
An oldie
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