there will never be any shortage of wanting for you
someone will always be there
one can only hope
in years to come
it won't be me

ships wrecked
concepts
disregardable formats and homeostasis
point to where your love lies.
don't tell me i cannot,
i only desire more to crush your expectations beneath the weight of my tap tap tapping keys.
don't tell me i should not,
i will go through my life in silence listening to your meaningless vowels, expressed only in an attempt to stop your head from aching.
hour nine of discontentment:
would you trade your inspiration for a grin?
what do you think of the gasoline and writers block taking form in my dispose?
correct me if i'm wrong but i think i love you.

i will not shrink myself down
i do not come in pocket sized
i am more than your heart desires
yet a  glass has never complained to overflow
i am everything or nothing
and to you
something in between
i am loud and i am violent and i am volatile
reaching for the stars that dissolve in my fingers
heaven has never felt so far
slim down diets are so in
reach your love to fit like chickpeas in your heartless ides
a growling stomach makes a pretty lady
i am pretty much a lady?

my life is a draft
i am a draft
i was enlisted without my own permission
to a life of love and loathing and so much pain
youve caused me so much pain
"you treacherous
monstrous
lovely creature full of ache and sorrow
who hurt you?
who made you feel that the world couldnt give you anything but pain?
who destructed everything you thought you were
what are you?
what have you made yourself out to be for them?
have you found your colors yet?"
and she realized in that moment
that years of paleness has measured out to
perhaps she isnt void of anything

you cannot fix
what wont let itself be broken
you are darling and you are daring but so much more than that
you are kind
my lord are you kind
endless in your extinguishing of the flames by which you were burnt
hell wouldve frozen over when you hurt someone that way
a child seeking shelter in the storm is not responsible for the care its given
selfless and hopeless in the sense of your heart being your own
you lend it out like library books
borrowed and scoffed and altogether ripped apart at the amusement of them
yet i will always await its return
i hope you see
you dont have to let yourself burn to light up a room
and you are not responsible for keeping others warm
take your heart into your own hands

its getting colder by the hour
broken legs and broken hearts  stitched together by the ideation of "better"
tomorrow we will be better
look me in the eyes and kick me in the back
hold me and break me and make me feel the way you did
you do
you cant bear to end what youve started can you?
a ruthless endless hurt expressed by
he started it
i cant end it
humans beings are designed to hurt and hurt
it seems i am not the exception

how dare you kiss me
as if there's something in me
worthy of wanting