To remember where I was
Just a few years ago
Feels like moments

To think of how I were
How I felt
What I believed
The forbidden way of thinking
The forbidden way of speaking
The forbidden me, in secret
****** up, not showing
'Cause feeling is weakness
Feeling is wrong
And therapy was never a friend

That is my past
It's done, and I'm reborn
Even though clinging on to something done is wrong
Not smart, not good nor healthy
I try not to remember
Try to leave it
But the past is like a shadow
It's always behind you
If you turn, you'll notice
It's lurking in the dark
I'm scared it'll drag me down

I'm thinking again
Feeling again
Thinking too much
Feeling too much

I feel like a storm,
A hurricane,
My mind is...
Collapsing

I don't understand
But in the end,
I never have
I never will

I'm just trying to understand
Something my eyes see
That my heart doesn't
A new story,
My mind is making,
To make sense of it all

You are a firework,
Big, colorful, beauty, bright.

The only problem with fireworks,
Is that they always fade to soon.

don't fade away, please

society society society
we were so happy
why did you drive us insane
my labeling humanity

we are growing younger
because of your dense behavior
you should have been silent
instead of calling us a failure

what you gain is satisfaction
But, in us
what is lost is compassion
you are blind, you don't see
you don't know, what is reality

you don't speak
because you are afraid
afraid, that you may not be happy
like you are today

-Kaya

Dear I just can't forget
How your lips caressed mine,
Or wrapped around a cigarette.
Your stare still penetrates,
Though it hasn't met mine
In quite some time.
The ghosts of your fingertips
Dance along
Every inch of my skin,
And your smell still lingers
In the many folds
Of my sheets.
You're hiding at every corner
And lurking
Around every turn.
I can't quite escape
The memories of you,
They've invaded my senses dear.
You're trapped
In every piece of me,
Yet you're miles and miles away

At some point, we all reach happiness.
We all get there in different paces.
I've been working on my strides,
but baby wait for me at the finish line.

Some days it's raining
you filled the sky with colours for so long
and I filled rivers with my tears
when I was with you..
and more when we're apart

But rivers
can cross a lot of nations
ignore borders
and come close to me again
Are you close to me again?

I love you
for you were my biggest mistake
and my truest love
my best friend
and a stranger, even when we lived together

Are you floating towards me again?
Or will you stay out of my reach, and let me
wondering
If you're still inside this sky