rainy showers,
pour down, on the poor.
the Sun, hasn't completed his chore..

giving more death than life, not enough blossoming..
flowers all wilted, tilted, but possibly...

the outcome of this garden is a metaphor for hope..
and that word alone can settle down the folk...

giving them potential, the potential to be born.
changing up their mental, a transition to a form..
till the realization hits, they can get through any storm...

rainbows exist.
hidden in the mist.
and every time, they appear the devil shall be ******.
...

therefore, one can say the devils gonna have a bad year, when he realizes the beauty this time period brings...
so, watch out for disharmony but know the bird that sings,
float like a butterfly, but know the bee that stings..
i assure you, this right here, will be the best of many springs...
So;
..until we meet again, in the land of Queens & Kings.



-afj.

I’m scared to look into your eyes
I told you all along that I’m fine
with a big fat smile on my face
but now you’re asking me to look
into your eyes and tell you the truth
But I can’t cause you’ll see all the pain
that I’ve been trying to hide with my
big fat smile
And you’ll see the blur in my eyes
I’m scared because you won’t ever
be able to understand all the pain
that I’ve gone through in my life
so I will end up getting hurt and
even more scared to look into
someone else’s eyes
so I just go with a big fat smile
and *I’m fine

Yesterday, I felt like I mattered to someone
she remembered my name and my face
how I used to look and where I’ve been
she asked me about some things that
i barely remember, but she did
she’s unbelievably amazing
she saved my life back then
and she doesn’t even know
i had a perfect night
she saved me
once again
yesterday

*(s.m)

she gave me a piece of paper
and told me to write it all down
all my thoughts and my feelings
and explain all my demons inside
all the pain that occurs in my body
just write it down for me she said
stared at the blank piece of paper
paper that was white as pure snow
and it was still blank after hours
but that explains it very well though
i don’t feel anything

*(s.m)

Sitting in class
pinching my wrist
trying to focus
my eyes hurt
and itch from
all the crying
i did last night

Sitting at home
i put on my
happy face
acting up
like nothing’s
wrong and my
day went great

With friends
i laugh
with them
acting like
i’m happy
and without
worries

Sitting alone
music blasting
writing proems
thinking and
worrying, trying
not to cry
falling apart

*(s.m)

why is it that I can’t leave my things
without you having to open them
they are mine, and they are personal
they will scare you and make you cry
so for your own good, don’t open them
my world is darker than the color black
you have never been where i am and
you will never understand it so don’t,
leave my things alone, they are mine

*(s.m)

I look happy, don’t I?
there are no cuts on my wrists
all you see
is the smile on my lips
maybe even a spark in my eyes
and all you hear
is me telling everyone i'm fine
maybe even a laugh once in a while

but when will you look deep into my eyes
look beneath the spark and the blue color
see the emptiness and the darkness in me

   when you will realize
the smile is a facade
i'm not happy, it's fake, i'm hiding my tears
   when you will see
the spark is a blur
i'm not happy, i’m on the edge to tears
   when you will hear
the laugh is a scream
i'm not happy, i’m choking on pain

did you check my heart? it’s filled with scars

*(s.m)