How the **** do I explain
That every single thing in my life
Revolves around her being here.
If she leaves, I’m ******.
If she stays, I’m ******.
How do you cope
When she loves you back
But won’t do a single ******* thing to prove it.
How do you cope
When she says she doesn’t want a life with you.
How do you cope
When you don’t think
You’ll ever be able to love anyone the way
You love her.
Since you were 13 years old,
It has always been her.
It will always be her.
How do you cope
When to her, it won’t always be you.

you wrote that in the back
of my too full journal.

i read it every day
and sob.

Xylographed initials made by lovers over
Yonder in the suburb parks where the human
Zoo keeps them under watchful eyes.

do you remember when
all that mattered was
holding his hand

like the smell of the sun
on his sunburnt skin
laying on the sun-set sand

do you remember when
the only song you know
was his second name

and the only dance
that your feet understand
is a step with his toes

can you take me back
when the lamposts died
the other night

and i'll ask myself
why the sun shines
only on the two of you

take me back to sun screened streets
where all that mattered was
our touching feet

there’s a boy
who says i smile with stars in my eyes
and i kiss like how lavender looks
and i walk with a step that makes him want to sing

there’s a boy
who calls me the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen
who wants to plan his future with me
who adores every part of me

there’s a boy
who i cannot love
who i refuse to love
who i’m terrified to love

but his attention keeps me awake, alert, alive

i’m sorry