You watch time pass by
Seeing your friends getting married, having kids, and owning homes
While you sit in your childhood room cheering them on
As you envy them because you want to be there.

You look around at your childhood room trying to make it feel more you
All you are doing is avoiding the issue at
But you're scared
Scared of stepping out into the world.

You try changing your style from the emo phase to the boho kings/queens
Spending all your money to see what calls your name the most
Questioning everything you wear
You cry looking at the little white dress you're wearing
Wishing it was the dress that was saying the words 'I Do.'

Hoping that the feeling of insecurities leave your body
It doesn't
Not until you are ready to step out into the world
Until then you cry while you wear a little white dress.

teeth sunk into the flesh
of a lover,
white dress, pure.

crimson, like roses,
like blood
both intoxicating;
sweet, sickly

eyes blazing,
like fire.
raging with hatred
that fills the heart of
a broken down soul

the promises that were made,
abandoned, like the lover
you left at the alter  

                                                        ­      ( “i do” , as love spews,                                                     with blood
                                                           ­           out of the wounds
                                                          ­    that your hands claw at)

On the window ledge
I quietly relax
I sit and think
About life and its miracles
Meanwhile
i watch you walk by
With your very neat hair
But a not so neat shirt
A dozen of red roses
In your hand you hold
For a very special someone i suppose
In my mind i wished you were mine
To pass right by
i thought would happen
but no.
you stopped !
you looked right and left,
and glanced once again
At the address in your hand
Until you made sure it was the one
and continued to walk in
i sprung up from my seat
a little bit too excited
and went down to observe
what would happen next ?
a doorbell was rung
and a gasp i let out
both my parents excitedly answered
as if for centuries
this moment they have been waiting for.
to the guest room
they took you away
and you were gone
for quit a long while
worried i began to feel
but my heart felt so relieved
At last you got out
thankfully in one piece
this time i was confused
because with smiles i was greeted
and on one knee you bent
'Will you marry me?' you said
my cheeks turned dark red
and felt really warm and hot
although i fainted afterwards,
I'm sure i answered yes
With a huge wedding we were united
with your loved ones and mines as well
a smile all night long
i couldn't wipe
off my face
Nor off yours
Back to that street where i saw you
we returned
for one moment i closed my eyes
and in your fancy black suit
you were no longer in
and my white wedding dress
was no longer mine
back to that moment
where it all began
but this time
you simply walked by...