There is this voice that is within me
That wants to scream out preemptively
To prevent my fears from blindly justifying reason

A propensity in our nature
Or is it just nurtured,
Could it be that I’ve created these fears myself?

For why else would it be,
That this voice inside me,
Would scream out for these thoughts to stop?

What if I was wrong?
What if I made a mistake?
What if I lost you?

what if none of this is real
it's just all inside my head
all of these crazy thoughts
are telling me i'm better off dead

what if this whole time
it's all been a lie
and i really have
no reason to cry

what if i don't belong
anywhere in this world
i'm so much better than most
but i'm still a messed up little girl

what if i ended it all
then would everything be okay
what if I've decided
to put a stop to everything today

What if i was just another girl
you met another day
in another setting

then would you kiss me?
would you hold me tight, and tell me all the things that i want to hear?

or what would you do darling
because i would start my life over
just to have a chance with you

What if it's  not real?
What if it turns out a lie?
What if... its perfect?

those days when you're too sad to write
yet you know writing is the only thing that could possibly fix you
and in that moment you wonder
what will become of you when you can write no more.

i am alone
falling to pieces
no one to catch me when i fall
no one to see me as i am
no one to be there for me
no one to ask if i was okay
my actions judged
my thoughts confused
i stand on my own two feet
with more baggage then is needed
ready to fall
emotionally unstable
a girl who loves
a girl who feels
a girl with emotions
never understood
free
what good is that?
when you have no one
broken and used up
sad and frustrated
crying on the inside
no one can see
no one wants to
she has her head up high
but she's still dying
ignoring it
and pushing people away
it's all she's good at
safer, more secure
she wants to fly
to go away
far far away
to a better place
a place of peace
unknown
i am alone
forever and always