I was always just cute
in a way that made me
feel like a child. But 
I’m done with that now.
I want to feel your hands
over every inch of me like
waterfalls. I want us to
love like wild animals. 
I want us to tangle together
so intricately that we don’t 
know where it ends or 
begins. Look at me like
I’m a comet crashing to 
the earth. I want to be the
sun. For you to see everything.
I want you to love me.
I was always just cute,
but you made me feel 
Beautiful.

My body is a rugged mountain pass
whose dangerous peaks and valleys
call out to the hubris of would be adventurers
with its hungry siren song.

Lovers have come the world over
with their maps, pickaxes, fire starters and rope.
Some brought tents intending to go the distance;
several with flags to stake their claim at the summit;
a few with pocket knives for carving their names.
All leaving trash on the trails as they went.

“Did I make you ***?”
they would ask believing in their foolish arrogance
that their movement and noise were really capable
of causing my avalanche.
Covered in the sweat of my labors in Sherpa-ing them to the peak
I whisper “Yes.”
Understanding in those moments that some things cannot be taught.

Only one ever came truly naked -without intention or ego.
The many times he found himself cresting my summit
it never occurred to him to pierce me with his pride
but instead he kissed the earth beneath him in gratitude.
He always moved through me as if he had gone this way his whole life
and yet still could get lost on the trails of a single limb.

He made himself an eager student of my skin
and produced waterfalls where before there had been none.
Singing songs into me as he studied my topography with adept fingers.
The echoes of which ring through me even now.
Never was he concerned with the ridges
for he being too preoccupied with the beauty of my slopes
thought of them only as trail markers.

The songbirds in the trees of me call always for him.
The animals of my wilds stay hungry as never before.
A small fire burns constantly for his return.

Unclothed.

If I was still alive, you think I'd be proud
        of you sticking that chemical imbalance


stuck out of your arm.


    The reaper be looking at you
                           with tears
                            falling from white waterfalls.

But if I was here, I'd be guarding you from
                         the mourning of regret.

You tried hard, but misery pushed down
                     on your artery...

And you tried to explain,
                                                        that you were lost
         before this moment and couldn't carry the load.


But this was meant to lessen the discomfort
                                            of me leaving you.
                    I'm still here,cant you hear me talking..

Pulling you back from the abyss of this, our mistake.


It took nine hours of words, dripping into your
                     subconscious...
your not alone, your not weak, I'll always be here..
                                                          ­                    with you.


Then you alwoke, it wanst me, but a breath of us.
                                                             ­                                                    Family,
                friends were my arms and they gripped you.

You'll see me,
                        hear me in others,
                          your never ever be alone again.