Jolee
if I could serenade
I would portray a song
about how I never came to
Hollywood
to see you dance in a smoky, distinguished ballroom
or a whiskey saloon
the way your eyes stared at me
from across the great divide
I felt like I could not breathe

time crept down to a moment
I feel IM in the wrong place at the wrong time
IM just writing this for you
because its all I can do

sunlight in a meadow, dancing
off the tips of your hair.
your words ,smile and skin
glinting off the firelight
in a cabin room, with roof coated in snow

I create a cliche eternity
because I will never know

I've been checking my heartbeat
Yeah, it's still going, actually quite fast
just to make sure I'm not a ghost
I've stopped caring so ask me anything
So, continue to shake my dreams
where I have the courage to speak
It's in my dreams and memories, you smile
But in reality, when I see you
I am left with rushing mind and hallow heart
I see you walk closer with that empty face
and secretly distraught, gorgeous eyes.
which make me want to ask if you're alright
too late to try, you've already walked by
leaving me with a cowardly stomach
which I'll reflect on when I try to sleep tonight
I've been reflecting on the past so much, I rarely see the present
Brought to my knees again, trying to breath
I think my heart stopped for a moment
I fear this writing has said to much
but I've found if I don't feel comfortable,
I'm not writing about the right things
I should know the over-thinking kills me
but I tend to do it anyway
I've stored up all the words I can throw
but that doesn't mean I'll get the chance to use them
my heart has no reason to keep pumping
but I will fight to survive
perhaps I'll find the answer in your smile

you let me see your world

and left me hanging

I lost all my thoughts 

in a knot 
when I saw her

my brains playing games 

a dropped jaw

and i slobbered
Her face is a maze

I’m amazed when she smiles

I get lost in this cause

& in her eyes 
I run miles
that neck

now i’m wrecked

in between both her shoulders 

I want badly to sip

from her lungs 

and to hold her
My eyes follow paths

down her back 

and I ponder 

to turn my eyes into hands

a lascivious squander

I stand there...

See you.

These times are not like time before these now broken nights.

I reach out...

You're close...

So close,

But you are too far away.



Forbidden to stare, Can't even care,

No touch...

I can taste how hell is like.



One tear, Shatters my cracked heart.

Your eyes meet mine...

Finally.

& I can see your soul.



Your eyes hold me ransom to myself,

& freeze me where I stand.



Guarded emotions bring me down to my knees as I take you in.

Timeless kiss... Ends to soon.

You leave me wanting more.

But you are gone.



I'm left empty.

Confused.



Feeling in need of something...

Of you...

You hold the key to my pain,

My love...



You keep my sane.

But I'm left hurt and nothing to gain.



This is me without you.

this is the fifth time today my eyes fall closed.
in a minute or two i'll dissolve into the night sky.
i've become much more silent,
but only a little less eager.
i'm tired during her absences,
and she vividly walks in dreams.

this is the third time this week i think of cigarettes.
i wonder how i manage to survive the suffocation.
i'm living with severe headaches,
and loving my personal sadness.
so in turn i put death between my lips,
and slowly breathe my life away.

this is the first time you affect me this way.
and i dug deep in the earth to find you alive.
i want you as much as i don't.
it's like nicotine and sleep;
more than a little and less than too much,
just enough,
until we are airborne for good.