I am afraid of matchsticks burning my fingers
or elevator doors slicing me in half
I am terrified of kissing you for the last time in a day
or waking up realizing you no longer love me
I am frightened of the future, of what tale it would hold, if it’d still be you and me
or just... me
I am petrified of these thoughts, of these dreams, of these fears that latch when I look into your eyes
and catch all this warmth and not know what to do if they disappear, when –

The wound isn't there anymore.
The more you fought and the more you've lost. Succomb to the war it is nothing but matter now.
As it always have been.
It's everywhere now..
On you .... In you .... It is you.
You are a wound only to be discovered as a scab. Picked and naked to vulnerability that lies within.

Hey, I. Umm.
What & Why? I thought.
Betrayed? Slightly.
Yo, it's fine. Small. But umm.
I'm here. Vulnerable.
Did you notice I'm vulnerable?
Should have been safe. Want to be
Vulnerable. It's NBD. But.
Scares. Me.
Don't need much, really.
(should I need anything?)
But communicate. Somehow
Your thanks. and.
Some sort of protection from the outside.
Otherwise. Being vulnerable around you
Will end.

Right now,

The mind flutters.
The body clutters in emotions.
In motion.
Trying to sip on a potion
While staying in devotion to something.......
I try to be it all, yet I cant control this
This
THIS ——- flutter

Yet, falling freely.
Seeing me be me.
Really,,,,,

I stay away
At bay. Yet fragment, moments, ideas
All collide into an explosion of the possibility.

And my mind flutters
Like a butterfly
Crashes like a falling airplane;
Freely, painfully
As I hold onto the railings on the bus. There is a single stop
I crash - again, again.... When, I say stop
Again -
Reality -  
A shattering crash.

And I flutter, more
More,
More.

Nothing will stop, nothing.
This fluttering flies away and I am left shaking

A wound
Is opened, in front of you
I want crash now. Because my explosion in front of you
Will hurt you
You will stay

Yet I think:
Please come (I flutter)

Please go —-

At the same time..

i run my fingers over the hollows of my skin
to emulate the warmth of your electric touch.

i bite my lip with fervent desire
but fail to incite the euphoria
that ensues from your kiss alone.

it drives me wild
moving me madly toward the edge of allegiance.

and with this
i find myself at a crossroads
caught between the valleys of my mind
and the plains of my heart.

to combat this dilemma
i pause
close my eyes
breathing in all things you.

and in a sudden moment of spontaneity
the solution comes to me.
i scale the valley walls,
plant my feet on plains of uncertainty
and run.

to the heaven that lays buried
within the comfort of your arms.