Begging by a million names,
A fix for the cost of dignity

In the wearing of a thousand faces,
True north gets lost by tide

To be oneself requires discernment
Through madness and through mood

A staying of course beyond the currents
That pull us to and fro.

I want you to ruin my life
and maybe yours at the same time

I want you to tell me you love me
even if you don't
because for a moment it could be nice
to just be in the wrong

We could sit amongst the rubble
talk about the meaning of it all
as if any of it matters

I want you and I know I shouldn't
I'm just searching for validation
while you look for an exit sign

But, maybe it'd be nice
to set it all on fire and fall for a line

I think you were sent to me by an angel
To teach me a lesson about my value
You illuminated paths I couldn't see within
Who knew you'd lead me to where I've never been

When you first disappeared,
Fear gripped me tight.
I was left broken
Without a star in the night

When you returned, my hope was reignited
but my fears would cause a lot of damage.
Now you're here, but not quite near,
Your silence echoing, forcing me to steer

Giving me the time and space
to really hear everything you once said
to let myself listen and internalize it
how valuable I am

I don't want to be helpess anymore,
It was easier, I'll no longer ignore-
How I always asked your thoughts,
How I vented and never stopped.

The things I regret now feel more real,
I wish we just could've hung out;
Been normal friends,
but I was afraid to be myself.

I learned to stay down and not get up,
I'd pace my room in fantasies
Until I learned to que up
Validation felt like a drug

But now what I regret most
Is not giving you a hug,
Spilling my every thought,
And betraying you

Now you're gone